Please help me!! I feel like i am goi ng to vomit!

[tpaflyer]

I have a choice of flying or driving to Roanoke, VA from TPA next Monday. If I drive it will take me 15 hrs to get there. Essentially two days. If I fly a lot less.

My wife wants me to fly but I am terrified if flying. My main fear is crashing. I fear the plane will crash and I will die leaving my wife alone and devastated.

I realize that flying is far convenient and my wife thinks it is a lot safer than driving 15 hrs. I can either fly USAirways with one stop, or Allegiant non stop. I like the non stop idea better because only one take off and one landing. but the fly old MD-80 planes and are a no frills airline so I feel that their maintenance may not be as good. They had several engine fires and front landing issues and that scares me to death.

Please help!! Is Allegiant a safe airline? What about the MD-80?

It makes me sick to my stomach, but I feel that I should fly and to drive for so many hrs when the flight is just under 2 hrs.

Pls help!

Tpaflyer -

[Aurora]

Allegiant flies with old SAS MD80's.... Perhaps the world's best taken care of MD80's :) I wouldn't worry one bit!

[tpaflyer]

Thanks for the encouragement. I see your other posts flying in the cockpit. Amazing.

I never used to be afraid of flying. I used to find it exciting and not stressful at all. Then I got on a flight from Orlando to San Juan on a 727 and we had two engine stalls before we could actually take off. It scared me a lot. I flew a few other times after that, but the fear just got worse and worse.

Now I have terrible fear of flying. I want to fly. I want to face the fear. But I would hate myself if the plane I take is the one that goes down. Specially because a flight on an old MD-80 so I would not have to do a stop over rather than a flight on US Airways with a stop over.

[Barb-SAN]

I have a choice of flying or driving to Roanoke, VA from TPA next Monday. If I drive it will take me 15 hrs to get there. Essentially two days. If I fly a lot less.

My wife wants me to fly but I am terrified if flying. My main fear is crashing. I fear the plane will crash and I will die leaving my wife alone and devastated.

I realize that flying is far convenient and my wife thinks it is a lot safer than driving 15 hrs.
Hi tpaflyer, and Welcome! :welcome2:
I take it as a positive "sign" that you are calling yourself a "flyer". :D

Listen to your wife...she's got it right with the safety odds. Plus, you will have to drive back, so you are talking 30 hrs. of driving vs. 4 hrs. of flying, total. Driving sounds exhausting to me. And, you have no control over the other drivers on the road, if they are driving OLD cars, or are tired or intoxicated.

With flying, you can sit back and let the pilots fly you to your destination while you listen to music, read, watch a movie, or just relax and watch the scenery out the window.

We usually recommend people check out www.anxieties.com (http://www.anxieties.com) for lots of free tips and information about fear of flying as well as ways to reduce your anxiety. You might also find it reassuring to start tracking your flight on FlightAware, and look at the history for the past 4 months, and see how over and over the planes arrive at their destination. :)

I hope you will spend some time browsing this site too...there are many success stories of people who started out just as fearful as yourself, and now are flying all over the place, comfortably. It IS doable. :D

[aerobat]

Hi, tpaflyer! I'll second Barb-SAN's recommendation that you spend some time at anxieties.com. And I would also start keeping a journal dedicated to your quest to beat this fear. We can easily miss, forget, or undervalue the little clues that point the way. Writing them down saves them for us to reconsider and correlate later.

On that note, I'd like to ask you to reflect on one or more of the flights you did subsequent to that scary one to San Juan. Can you say when your fear was the worst on those? Was it during the days before the flight, or was it the day of the flight? Or during it? How did you feel right after landing? That, especially, is worth paying attention to.

When I hated to fly, but before I became grounded, I used to experience my greatest fear during the days before the flight and the least fear right after touchdown--even though I had a return flight to (not) look forward to. Sometimes after touchdown I would wonder what all the anguish was about, for in that moment I felt that I could easily get on another plane.

But give me a week or two and the fear was back in full swing.

The task before us is to recognize the process of desensitization and to put attention on taking control of this, which includes understanding in some detail the nature of anxiety. A phobia has been called a "neurochemical accident" and I find that to be spot-on.

So...our conversation will continue. Please start a journal and record the blips and zaps and insights, the peaks and troughs and any phrases that seem to help. These will become signposts. If indeed you felt after touchdown (on those subsequent flights) that you could get on another plane right then with reasonable comfort--or almost--then that is a glimpse of your future, and it should be taken to heart. You can find your path to it using the tools at anxieties.com and the support you'll get here. I think you can make reasonable progress in a week, and the flight will be the proof, as well as a big step in the direction of reclaiming your right to be comfortable on a plane. I have done it, and I see no reason why you cannot also. :)

[tpaflyer]

My biggest fear right now is that Allegiant flies old MD-80. Doesn't that make them more appt to crash?:confused:

[MathFox]

What is old? Most planes are designed to fly 25 years in service with a major airline and then another dozen years with a third world operator. Some airlines prefer to sell their planes early (after 15 years), when they can still fetch a good price, while others keep their planes a bit longer and buy well maintained second hand planes. The MD-80 was built from 1980 till 1999, so the planes must be between 12 and 31 years old; I expect that Allegiant flies the "younger" planes that are still within their design lifespan... and checked more times a year than you have your car checked.

[Barb-SAN]

My biggest fear right now is that Allegiant flies old MD-80. Doesn't that make them more appt to crash?:confused:
How could YOU test/research this theory?

Edited to add...MathFox has posted the answer while I was writing mine...
You might also research maintenance requirements, think about how often planes have parts replaced, etc, long before they wear out.

[Aurora]

Check out this link for age and previous owners : http://airfleets.net/flottecie/Allegiant%20Air-active-md80.htm

As mentioned, many of the MD80's come from SAS' fleet. Not to brag, but STS (SAS Technical Services) are among the world's best technicians. Norway is a rich country with strict rules and regulations. The MD80's that come from SAS are practically new planes, parts have been refitted and changed a dusin times. We have never had big financial distress, never anything in our country that would suggest lacking/cheating in technical services :thumbsup:

[Barb-SAN]

That's an interesting website, Aurora. Thanks for posting. I see that you can go in and find all the different airlines who have owned each plane, and even photos of that plane on airliners.net.

[aerobat]

Great website, Aurora! Thanks! :tiphat:

tpaflyer, I note on that website that the average age of Allegiant's fleet is 20.7 years.

For USAirways, the average is 12.3 years.

For Delta, it is 14.5 years.

For Southwest and American, it is 15 years.

So even though Allegiant has been in business only since 1997, they have a somewhat older fleet of aircraft--MD80s formerly owned by SAS as Aurora stated, and undoubtedly well-maintained throughout their history. Pilots will sometimes joke that by the time an aircraft is 25 years old, all its parts will have been replaced at least once :). While that's not quite true, all its essential parts (like the engines) will have been replaced multiple times and carefully inspected and serviced regularly. Any airline which has routes serving the US has to comply with strict and uniform standards for maintenance, and while I have never flown Allegiant Air, I would not hesitate to do so.

I don't think these differences in average age of the fleet mean anything in relation to safety. Decisions are made to replace entire aircraft when (1) it is no longer economical to maintain them to the requisite standards or (2) a decision is made to shift the fleet to a different model of aircraft, often because an expanded route structure favors it.

If indeed your biggest concern is the age of the planes you'll be flying, then why not go with USAirways--the youngest fleet in my random list--and accept two takeoffs and landings each way?

It's a somewhat rhetorical question, because you've indicated that you dislike takeoffs and landings and want to minimize the number of them you must endure. And furthermore, your trigger event was associated with the takeoff. It was also a classic loss of innocence about flying.

But I want to point out that what you seem to be experiencing is free-floating anxiety. This is like a butterfly (pardon the metaphor ;)) that settles on whatever image is in the forefront, and keeps shifting to other places as one's attention shifts. I would think that the real issue is neither the MD80s nor takeoffs and landings, but rather--as you have already said--your fear that any plane you get on will crash. If this is true, then (1) you're in precisely the same pickle I used to be in, and (2) identifying this as the purest source of your fear will make its irrational nature all the more obvious.

This is a good place to be as we begin the process of recovery, because it allows the recognition that our fear is a neurochemical lie, and that we can use trickery to get over it.

I don't mean to say that simply pegging our fear as irrational gets us much of anywhere. We usually know this already, but then we let that butterfly dance around to all these reasons and justifications for our fear, because it's so frustrating and futile to be up against something both irrational and inexorable. Please believe me when I say I spent 30 years in this pickle, trying every rational way I could to both rationalize it and to reason my way out of it :lol:...and nothing worked. And I really did feel that for any plane I got on, its chances of crashing went up astronomically. I look back on that and wonder how I could possibly have been that special :confused:...and of course I wasn't. But for me, it was a big step to admit that my fear was purely and simply irrational, and that the justifications were my attempts to squirm away from an embarrassing fact.

So, in sum, it is best to tackle this as an anxiety issue to be solved with counterphobic tools. Everyone here who has gone from terrified and/or grounded to flying comfortably--and there are a number of us--has taken this path. Once we put on our new skin, so to speak, and develop new habits of feeling about flying, we don't even have to work at it very much. We own our right to be happy up there. :) And we replace our lost innocence with an eyes-wide-open acceptance of a very, very small risk. And we easily jettison the 100% guarantee that our phobia demands. More to say about this.

[Barb-SAN]

Please help me!! I feel like i am going to vomit!
But I want to point out that what you seem to be experiencing is free-floating anxietyAerobat, Aurora, and Mathfox have addressed in depth the "age of airplanes & safety" issues.

I'm wondering, the way that you titled this thread...could it be that "fear of vomiting" might also be a factor? That is, the "free-floating anxiety" is so uncomfortable that you are looking for a "rational" reason (e.g. "old planes") to avoid getting on the plane so that you won't have to experience all the sensations that go with that anxiety.

There's some information I've found useful here: http://www.anxieties.com/panic-step2.php "Understand Your Body's Emergency Response"

[tpaflyer]

Thank you all for the responses here. I think the comments about the "butterfly" is right on. To be honest if I was flying on a brand spanking new 757 I would still be afraid.

I mentioned "vomiting" in my post because I was feeling so scared from even thinking about having to fly, that I was getting suck to my stomach.

I WANT to be able to fly!!! Is so frustrating driving everywhere!! I had to go to NYC for training and drove, from TPA. What a nightmare. Just because I was afraid. To top it off, it embarrasses me so it lowers my confidence on other areas of my life. Is very depressing. I have cronh's disease (a form of IBD) and flare ups are caused mainly by stress. So guess what, I am feeling sick in the gut again.

So ou can see, this fear of flying has real repercussions and for me is a wall that seems un-surmountable. I just wish I could get on the plane and just go! Go like I used to. Be free of this crippling fear.

I have to book this flight soon, or I am going to end up driving and that will suck, not just for the drive, but because I will feel like a failure all 15 hrs up and down after the conference. :sigh::sigh::sigh:

[aerobat]

Now I have terrible fear of flying. I want to fly. I want to face the fear. But I would hate myself if the plane I take is the one that goes down.

Hi again, tpaflyer, and thank you :tiphat: for jumping in and staying in this conversation. This dialogue is an important part of the process. It takes courage to talk about these things. For my part, I kept my fear of flying absolutely secret :blush: for many years, having no idea what help other people were capable of giving. I assumed no one could possibly help.

I know exactly what you mean about "hating yourself if the plane you take is the one that goes down", and I'd like to gnaw on this bone for a bit, because for me, there were a lot of secret and magical (in a bad way) ideas tangled up with this notion of walking into a trap.

Does that phrase ring true?--that you feel that by booking the flight you are walking into a trap, and the trap will be sprung on you when it's too late (catastrophe in the air), and on top of knowing you're about to die, there's the additional anguish of having betrayed yourself? I used to be spitted on this particular pike, to put it bluntly. There was no way to think my way around it: booking the flight meant sealing my doom.

So I quit flying. Not the happiest solution.

To be honest if I was flying on a brand spanking new 757 I would still be afraid.


Good honesty. Keep that front and center and try to not let the butterfly go flitting about stirring up a hundred reasons to distrust the airlines. Later, after you are flying more comfortably, you can take up your grievances :cuss:with them, but now is not the time. OK?

So ou can see, this fear of flying has real repercussions and for me is a wall that seems un-surmountable. I just wish I could get on the plane and just go! Go like I used to. Be free of this crippling fear.


Can you say a bit more about the event that kicked off your fear? Did your engines experience a compressor stall
on the takeoff roll and your pilots aborted the takeoff? And it happened simultaneously to two engines? :( Please tell us. It may actually help for you to review the details of it out loud, so to speak. Were other passengers visibly afraid? What about the flight attendants?

I hope you have started reading on the anxieties.com site. It may take a little while before you have the big aha! that demystifies what has happened to you. If you collided with a tree on the ski slope and broke your leg, there would be very little mystery. It would be a bummer to have a broken leg, but you could look ahead to your convalescence and your return to sports and adventure. In fact, a phobia is no less an accident than colliding with a tree. But it all happens below the surface, and via processes we don't understand until we learn about the territory of anxiety, and how it can be dismantled. I can't stress enough how important this is, because it demystifies our accident and largely relieves us of our burden of shame and embarrassment. It restores our confidence that we are not weak or cowardly or deficient (we are none of these) and that with the right effort, we can recover and fly comfortably again (I did, and I do). Do we return to the place we were before our fear developed? Not exactly. We get to a better place. And there'll be more to say about that. :)

I have to book this flight soon, or I am going to end up driving and that will suck, not just for the drive, but because I will feel like a failure all 15 hrs up and down after the conference. :sigh::sigh::sigh:

You already know from the long, long drive to New York and back how you will feel. I know about this too, having bailed and gone overland--ah, sagas of woe and defeat! :rolleyes:. Some are recorded in posts here.

I sense that you know there is no better time than the present to face your fear. But this time, do it with knowledge, tools and support. This makes all the difference. It will still take courage. Courage is wonderful. :dragonsla Don't doubt for a minute that you have enough of it to push through this wall. It took courage to fly again after that bad experience, and you did it several times. What you didn't know then is that without the right tools and support, continuing to fly after a fear-trigger event often causes the fear to get worse.

It's your decision. And when you make it, know that you made it with courage, and that each step will build on the previous one, and that when it's time to get on the plane, that step will be nowhere near as big as it may seem right now.

Tools to consider:
Thought-stopping, Postponement, and Worry time. Read about them on anxieties.com, and we'll help you develop them. Can your wife be enlisted as a support person? If so, that would be excellent.

[tpaflyer]

All these engine failures/fires that Allegiant has had? It sounds like a lot of fires, five I think. Is that due to Maintenance issues or the fact the planes are old. Right now Allegiant is the only option I have to fly and these engine issues are making my fear even worse.

Thanks in advance for your understanding.

[aerobat]

Can you say why USAirways is no longer an option?

I did a little internet research and found some reports on Allegiant's engine fire incidents. Here they are, but bear in mind that all contain doses of the sort of sensationalizing and disinformation that keeps the public revved up.

http://travel.usatoday.com/flights/post/2010/10/allegiant-air-jet-evacuated-after-engine-fire-in-orlando/126824/1 (http://travel.usatoday.com/flights/post/2010/10/allegiant-air-jet-evacuated-after-engine-fire-in-orlando/126824/1)
http://articles.wdbj7.com/2010-08-12/allegiant-air_24090513 (http://articles.wdbj7.com/2010-08-12/allegiant-air_24090513)
http://avherald.com/h?article=42eca246&opt=0 (http://avherald.com/h?article=42eca246&opt=0)
http://www.airlinepilotforums.com/major/52331-alligiant-air-has-flight-engine-fire.html (http://www.airlinepilotforums.com/major/52331-alligiant-air-has-flight-engine-fire.html)
http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/breaking-news/index.ssf/2009/06/allegiant_air_flight_loses_eng.html (http://www.lehighvalleylive.com/breaking-news/index.ssf/2009/06/allegiant_air_flight_loses_eng.html)
http://www.examiner.com/headlines-in-wichita/passenger-jet-lands-safe-wichita-following-engine-fire (http://www.examiner.com/headlines-in-wichita/passenger-jet-lands-safe-wichita-following-engine-fire)
This airline is having more than its fair share of problems, and more than its fair share of publicity about it. Consider that a similar incident (reported here in two threads) in which I was a passenger last August (an engine failure on Southwest after takeoff, followed by an emergency landing) got no publicity whatsoever. The local media didn't know about it, or they'd have doubtless made it headline news that day. SWA clearly wasn't advertising it; a later google search turned up pretty much zip. What does this tell us?

I'd say that these incidents often do not get reported, in part because there are no injuries and everybody in the industry knows (1) these aircraft can fly safely on one engine and (2) the chances that the other engine would also fail are remote. I'd say that Allegiant has had a run of bad luck in two respects. Is the issue due to engine age or to inadequate maintenance (or is it an artifact of other under-reporting of these incidents?)? I don't know. It's the kind of thing only insiders would know. I know what the standards are that the airlines are held to; I know that once in a while, and rarely (Alaska 261) the maintenance is publicly proven to have been substandard.

I know also that I do not need a 100% guarantee anymore. I accept reasonable risk; I fly with it.

This all is a worthwhile discussion for another phase of your effort to beat your fear, but not this phase. I repeat that, were I in your location with that itinerary and could only fly Allegiant, I would do it and not be afraid. Even though I went through an engine failure on another airline last summer. It did not rekindle my phobia; I am essentially immune now. Does that make me reckless? Definitely not.

You're letting the flitting free-floating anxiety distract you, and letting your phobia persuade you that it is keeping you safe. It will try to do that, perverse beast that it is. Those 30 hours of driving can in no way be less risky. :rolleyes:

[Barb-SAN]

O.K., I had to "peek" at those articles you linked, Aerobat Barb. :rolleyes: I'm happy to report (in case anyone else is wondering if it's safe to look)...that there were NO fatalities, in every case the planes landed safely. I did not find myself "revved up" after reading the articles (so I take that as a good sign).
You're letting the flitting free-floating anxiety distract you, and letting your phobia persuade you that it is keeping you safe. It will try to do that, perverse beast that it is. Those 30 hours of driving can in no way be less risky. :rolleyes:
That's the irony...at least here in San Diego there are traffic accidents every day, and the numbers jump dramatically when it rains. Yet people still get in their cars and drive whereever they need to go. If anything, there should be MORE publicity about the risks of car accidents, drunk driving, etc., mandatory inspection of "drive-worthiness" of vehicles every few years, safety training, etc. There's a lot that could be done to make us safer on the roads.

Meanwhile, many of these things have been addressed in the aviation world, with frequent medical exams for pilots, zero tolerance for flying while intoxicated, maintenance schedules for the planes, people watching the weather, declared safety visibility minimums for landings and take-offs, etc.
I've found that the more I've learned about the industry, the more I can relax and have confidence that I will arrive safely at my destination when flying commercially. :thumbsup:

[Hoosier]

Hello TPA,

Reading your posts hits home for me on several different areas. I was grounded for 22 years until I finally got flying again in 07. During that time, I had numerous business trips that should have included flying. The pattern got to be fairly routine. A trip announced, my initial determination that this was going to be the one that got me back up. Days of fretting about flights, pouring over schedules from aiports all around, followed by sleepless nights and sick to my stomach, until I finally would decide to just drive.

I got real good and making up excuses to try to cover the total emabarrasment I felt, like having old friends near where I was going who I wanted to spend time with afterwards, deep sea fishing trips, etc. On more than one occassion, I drove to the destination airport, parked in long term and went in the terminal, met with other co-workers and took the cabs with them. They never knew I hadn't been on a flight.

You appear to be limiting yourself to two options, a flight on Allegiant, which concerns you greatly, and a 30 hour roundtrip drive, which concerns all of us greatly. As fearfuls, we assign levels of risks to things such as airlines, routes, aircraft type, weather, etc...usually without any factual ability to do such a thing. Regardless, we do it and do it well.

During my grounding, I had determined that while all airlines were certain death traps, some had a little better chance of making it. In my wisdom, I determined that if I was ever going to fly again, it would be on SWA. My first flight in 07 was just that. I drove to Nashville, which is about 2.5 hours away, and took a direct to Vegas. Between 07 and 10, I flew on about 8 different occassions, all on SWA out of Nashville. I got to be pretty comfortable with that. In 10, I needed to go to Dallas, and AA flies directs from my hometown. The only problem was that they use ERJ's. All the old fears kicked back up and I was a mess. I made it and my last 4 trips have all been on those types of aircraft.

I know the conventional advise is that your fears of Allegiant are unfounded, and yes, they really are. With that said, and with all I have accomplished, I am not too sure I would fly on them. They actually fly into a nearby airport to me and I have friends and co-workers who fly them quite regularly. While they are safe and I have absolutely no facts that they are any less safe than anyone else, the concerns to a fearful are very real. Should they be addressed at some point? Yes, but I think at this point, he should get back in the air in the easiest manner for him. Sort of like training wheels. That is how I view what I did.

Instead of stressing over 2 bad choices in your head, how about compromising with yourself and finding a third solution? Have you considered flying SWA from TPA to RDU? That is a short flight and gets you within two hours of Roanoke. I have actually flown into RDU before and visited customers in Greensboro and Roanoke.

[Dachiri]

Have you been journaling as recommended? If so, or if you've thought long and hard about it, have you determined whether your problem is worse with take offs/landings or the type of plane? I'm always one for easing back into it, so if you're way more concerned about the type of plane, i'd take the US Air with an extra stop, and vice versa.

That said, I've flown on some old planes. Smoking on planes has been outlawed since 1990, and I've flown on more planes than I can count that have ashtrays. While it's *possible* that companies kept manufacuring planes with ashtrays for a substantial amount of time after it was outlawed, it doesn't seem likely, making a huge number of planes I've flown on well over 15 years old. Outside of one very non-scary, totally precautionary turn-around (on a plane WITHOUT ashtrays), I've never had an incident. 747s in particular tend to be well-seasoned, and I've never felt uncomfortable in one of those (in fact, I kind of like them, because it's pretty amazing that something THAT BIG can get off the ground).

Also, it's my understanding that a lot of airlines ditched the MD-80s simply because they weren't fuel-efficient. Nothing wrong with them, the airlines could just get a better bang for their buck buying newer, more fuel-efficient planes. I've flown on an AA MD-88, and it was just like flying on a 757. Nothing remarkable about it at all. Does it help at all that American still operates MD-80 series aircraft?

I don't fly Allegiant because they don't go from where I am to where I go, and I'm pretty dedicated to the star alliance. However, Allegiant is the only airline that operates into the regional airport actually IN my hometown. If they had efficient service from where I am to there, would I fly them? Without a second thought.

[aerobat]

Hi, tpaflyer! :) I am guessing you may have launched on that 15-hour drive, so I wish you the best of good fortune and a safe road trip.

I have no doubt that you want badly to get over this fear, and perhaps this trip will push that desire just far enough that the next time, you'll be able to take the steps necessary to fly successfully.

There's a difference between flying scared and flying successfully (even if still scared), and it doesn't sink in that something has changed until we start doing the work and find that on the plane, or sometimes in the days beforehand, we "mysteriously" feel better about it all. Even so, it is a series of steps.

You joined Taking Flight just a week before your prospective flight, and while it is possible to get some good work done in a week, it requires commitment and readiness which may simply not have been available to you right now, through no fault of your own. When you get back from the conference, I hope you'll consider some more dialogue with us and making plans to work on your fear. Thanks again for joining. :tiphat:

[tpaflyer]

I'm still home. I'm still debating to purchase the ticket or drive. If I drive, I have to leave by 12PM to have a decent chance to rest etc. I have to be at the conference center tomorrow before 5PM so I need o leave today before 12-1 PM or fly. I can still buy the ticket as I just looked it up and there is room available and the price is still the same.

I wish I could muster the courage to just fly there. That way I could enjoy today with my wife since her birthday was yesterday.

I really want to fly. I really , really do!!!

I actually went over to the airport on thursday and talked to the ticket sales person. I told her how I wanted to fly with them but was really scared. She said she completely understood and told me that I had nothing to fear. I then told her if I could talk to some one over in the "back" and she said "sure". The flight operations manager came out and talked to me. He said that the planes are safe. They they check all the issues the pilots record or bring up. They also inspect the planes before they leave etc. I told him about the engine fires and seemed to just dodge that question. No sure if he just didn't want to talk about it because of the bad publicity it can bring. Who know.

I left the airport with mixed feelings, but more good ones than bad ones. I actually felt at that time that I could fly with them. Now a few days have passed and I am back to square one.

[Barb-SAN]

Well...you've got 45 min. now to decide...I hope you buy that plane ticket! I suppose you've checked the weather already...I just did...looks good for Tampa today and tomorrow, but Roanoke has O.K. weather today, and strong storms forecast for tomorrow afternoon. It would appear that flying today (or early tomorrow) would avoid bad weather either flying or driving...

Also I wanted to be sure that you had found our "meet the pilot" letter. It's linked here...you can print it out and present it to either the gate agent (preferable, so you can board early), or a FA as you board. http://www.takingflight.us/content/TFAirlineLetter.pdf
Since you said it was helpful to talk with personnel at the airport on Thursday, I'm confident that talking to the pilots of your plane before the flight would be extremely helpful for you.
Good luck, and keep us posted! :)

Edited to add...here's the forecast map for tomorrow from www.weather.com (http://www.weather.com). The hourly forecast shows thunderstorms tomorrow from 3-8PM in Roanoke (and a 40% chance of thunderstorms today at 5PM). http://www.weather.com/weather/hourbyhour/graph/USVA0659?begHour=11&begDay=58#hhView

Of course, as we've seen in our thunderstorm thread http://www.takingflight.us/forums/showthread.php?t=8300 pilots are able to fly around thunderstorm cells, and will delay landing if there is a cell over the airport, and wait for it to move away. Unfortunately, driving most of us don't have the benefit of radar, and just have to slog through the rain, or pull off the road if it's bad enough and wait in a restaurant somewhere until the weather improves. It is a factor to consider if driving...that the drive may take longer if the weather is rainy or very stormy.

[Barb-SAN]

Well...did you drive or fly? The weather is looking more "interesting" today, with a tornado watch in effect until 4PM for Roanoke (and many other areas of Virginia). At the moment, (10:30AM EST) the weather looks O.K. between KTPA and KROA for flying, or driving.
But, this afternoon, according to www.weather.com (http://www.weather.com)
"Windy with strong thunderstorms developing this afternoon. Damaging winds with some storms. High 73F. Winds SSW at 20 to 30 mph. Chance of rain 90%."
However you are traveling...have a safe journey.

[bellevueace]

Emetophobia is a phobia all of its own where a person has a fear of vomiting. Heres a link:
http://www.google.co.uk/url?sa=t&source=web&cd=2&sqi=2&ved=0CDkQFjAB&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.emetophobia.com%2F&rct=j&q=emetophobia&ei=GHttTcikHI2GhQezsJyPDA&usg=AFQjCNGvMYE7vKviswC6Hz0Mv27oh5yKgg&cad=rja

[tpaflyer]

Well as it turns out I did not fly. Not to WV anyway, but I'll get back to that in a minute.

I could not muster the courage to fly to West Virginia. I almost did, I had the ticket pulled out in the computer and ready to just push click and go. But I could not push my finger down to buy it. So I packed all my stuff in my car and off I went. I have to tell you the drive was awful. It was rainy, smoky, foggy, packed with cars and construction zones. I was so exhausted when I got to WV I swore I would never drive this long again. Not to mention I still had to drive back. Driving added a full two nights to my trip that I had to spend away from home. It took about 46 hrs round trip, and two extra hotel nights. And I felt like crap about myself for not being able to fly on my own.

But worst yet, and probably the most eye opening thing of all, something I had never noticed before: I almost crashed at least 5 or 6 times during the trip. I fell asleep at least 3 times while driving in the lonely section of I-95 around South Carolina, I almost drove off the road while going across the mountains between Virginia and West Virginia in a torrential downpour, and I almost hit another car head on while on the road to the resort I was going because i could hardly see in the rain. I swerved a few times fiddling with the iPhone, trying to put on an audio book to keep me awake and many other instances where my concentration was just somewhere else (eating in the car to save time, stretching my legs etc.). So after I came back home safely, truly by the grace of GOD, I told myself and my wife, driving there was a lot more dangerous than flying would have been. Period. Even with the bad weather, the plane I was going to take still flew there and made it back safely, in TWO hrs. each way.

The whole point of this trip was to get to know my new employees since I had just gotten a new promotion. But I knew it would require more travel because my employees are spread out around the South East US. What was I going to do!! It would be impossible to do this job if I could not fly.

So it was decision time for me. And I decided I was not going to let this IRRATIONAL fear control my life any longer. I decided to do something about it. I went to Anxieties.com and read the material so many times recommended here on this forum. But after reading that I realized I needed more help and went to see a therapist. She basically explained what many of you have said here. That fear of flying is a IRRATIONAL fear that is rooted in our deep subconscious, where all other fears are stored and for good measure. She basically put it this way, our brains are very well equipped to keeps us from harm and keeping us alive. One way the brain does this is by using fear. And this most basic feeling/emotion is deeply rooted in our brains so that we don't have to remember the fear when we need to, but it becomes "second nature". If you were walking by the woods and a tiger jumped at you, your brain would trigger the flight or fight response (flight probably in this case) and if you survived, a very vivid imprint of this event would be burnt into your subconscious (new neuron pathways would be built) in such way as to the next time you went by the same spot, or even thought of the place where it happened, you would get the same feelings. This would remind you to not walk by there again, or at least be very cautions. This is how she explained it anyway.

Well we live in 2011 but our brains are the same. And when we experience a scary event, whether a tiger or a bad experience on a plane where we PERCEIVE we are going die, the same mechanism gets triggered. I still remember the exact moment when I got scared the first time on a plane. I remember the seat, what the landscape was outside my window, the time etc.

So, now I understand that the fear I feel is not a function of being weak or a "scary cat" or a wimp! It is my own brain trying to protect me.

So, last week I had to fly to Houston to go to some meetings. I was faced with a choice of driving 17 hrs each way again, or flying less than two hrs non-stop.

I chose to fly.

The day of the flight I was so nervous, I got to the airport and realized I forgot my wallet at home. I immediately felt relief because I would not be able to fly, so I was not going to die that day ;), and also shame because I was looking forward to beating this monster that day. However, as it turned out, my flight had been delayed two hours (what are the chances!!!) and I went back home and got my wallet and had time to get back to the airport.

So I dragged my carry on and computer and made my way through security feeling nauseated. Went through security (much more secure than i remember many years back) and went to the terminal to check in. I checked in and got my boarding pass and went to the gate to wait. While seating there, I kept thinking of every possible way I could cancel this meeting, do a teleconference, have the guys fly to to my home town instead of me flying. I kept thinking of all the different excuses I could use to not make this flight, weather, flight canceled, wife is sick, I got food poisoning. But through all this I kept thinking that I had to beat this. I kept remind myself that this was safer than driving and that I could beat this.

Finally they called my section for boarding. I got up and felt like I was going to my own funeral. I gave my boarding pass to the attendant and headed down the "tunnel of death" feeling like Dead Man Walking. At this point I almost turned back 3 times imagining myself running out of the gate bridge like a mad man, and then getting tackled by TSA and handcuff and taken to some dark little room to be interrogated. So instead I just kept walking down the bridge until it was my turn to board the plane. At that moment I froze. I looked down and could see a gap between the end of the bridge and the plane door bulkhead where you could see the concrete airport floor below. Believe it or not, I wished at that moment that I would fall through that crack. I swear time stopped or at least went by very slow. I looked up and saw the flight attendant inviting me in to get on the plane. My legs felt like jelly, my hands were really sweaty and i felt short of breath. All my senses seemed so sharp. My spatial awareness was amazing. I looked around the side of the plane at the the door hinges and latch and I noticed there was hardly any grease. It was very clean and the paint seem very new. I could hear very clearly the pilots talking in the cockpit and and the bag carts driving below me. I could smell coffee, grease, and the smell of a baby somewhere. I felt like when I was a child playing hide and seek and waiting in fear to be discovered.

Finally I decided there and then that this was it. For me this was the first step to get back to flying. I thought of my family and the encouragement my wife had given me and how worried she gets when I drive. I thought of my job and I could lose it if I don't get over the fear of flying. But most importantly I thought about me and all the suffering and self loathing I have had to suffer over the years because of this fear. I decided I had had enough! So I willed my left leg to move and placed my left foot on the door step of the plane. I then did the same with the right foot and next thing you know I was inside the plane. Of all the feelings I through I would have, I felt relief and pride! I was in!!!

Next I talked to the flight attendant and I told her I was terrified of flying and her response " well then today is the day you start to get over that, and I'll check on you letter". This was the best thing she could have told me. Because I
don't want someone to baby-sit me but someone to encourage me that I can do this.

After I talked to the flight attendant I went to my seat put on my seat belt and the rest is history. The flight was great, I actually got to do some work uninterrupted, there was some turbulence but I remember that the plane IS flying and will move and I took it out of my mind. I made it ...ALIVE!! hahaha.

Now I am scheduled to fly to ATL in May and I am actually looking forward to it.

I am not cured by any means. I still get nervous and get anxiety, but I feel like I can do this. I CAN DO THIS!!!!

Thank you all for all your support and I will keep posting here to share my experiences and get more support.

Again, THANKS!!!!!!!!!!!!

[massa]

Congratulations!!!

Just read your thread, I am in the same boat as you were two weeks ago, MD-80 or not. I am flying this coming weekend for the first time in 17 yrs. You can see my posts under massa.

I am very happy for you, your posts have given me more encouragement!

Thanks

[aerobat]

wow, tpaflyer, that's a terrific story!! Haha! :lol:You were dragged kicking and screaming through the gate and lived to tell the tale. And you discovered that the airplane is OK after all, and that you are indeed on your way to recovery. :woohoo:

CONGRATULATIONS!!!

:tiphat::tiphat::tiphat:

This would be an excellent time to add some practice flights. They allow us to fly without all the pressure of other obligations, and we don't have to wrestle with all those Plan B, Plan C thoughts as we contrive to escape our chosen fate. Or rather, destiny. It becomes all the easier to just embrace it. :tongue:

You've done it; you've broken through. It's the real deal. But now, as you know, you will need to build on it, make it yours to keep. We'd love to hear from you as often as you'd like to post. You are a great inspiration. :)

[Barb-SAN]

Hey, TPAFlyer, Thanks for writing a wonderful report, and I'm so glad that you survived that BRUTAL drive, and that it motivated you to then work with a therapist, and successfully take a flight!!! :hyped::hyped:

I also think it's very useful (for yourself, as well as all of us here at TF) to write out such a detailed report of your thought process and emotions as you were making various decisions. You can see where your "critical" points are, like walking down the air bridge, and stepping onto the plane. It IS the moment of commitment (if you allow it to be).

Though for myself, I now consider myself "committed" long before the walk onto the plane. I think that makes it easier...then "the walk" is just part of the process...the decision to fly is not in question.

Do keep us posted as you continue to fly! And congratulations on the work promotion too. :)

[aerobat]

the air bridge

No, it's the Tunnel of Death!!:cry::eek::violin::shakehead ;)

[tpaflyer]

I got to tell you that I feel really good about myself right now and hope to repeat the experience May 4th when I fly from TPA to ATL. I will fly in the morning and come back the same day in the evening, rather than driving 8 hrs each way and having an overnight stay. Interestingly enough, I won't have a carry on bag, just my computer bag. That will be a first for me.

I am prying that I can keep up my confidence at this level until then.

I feel the fear lurking in the background. I have images pop into my head, bu I immediately swat them with positive thoughts. So far this is working and my pre flight anxiety is very low.

So far. Keeping my fingers crossed and working hard to keep anxiety at bay!

[aerobat]

I trust you are checking in with your therapist about it all; she can give you many positive pointers. :) If you feel your confidence start to sag, please consider a practice flight on short notice. The best way to keep the recovery curve steep is to fly as often as you can for a few months, set goals for each flight, keep a journal, and pay attention to any remaining problem areas.

Congratulations again for taking the big step!! :thumbsup: It's an amazing feeling! If we're gonna have a phobia and then beat it, this is the one to have...look at what we get! Freedom to travel the world, plus this wonderful, joyous sense of accomplishment. :woot:

In contrast...you have a fear of snakes, you get over it, and whaddya get?
Snakes. :sigh: