Barb-SAN
10-16-2009, 04:39 PM
New from Reid Wilson, "Self-Help and Professional Update: The Three Principles" See link for complete article: http://anxieties.com/newsletters/anxietyupdate_2009oct.php
#1. Focus solely on a new frame of reference, not on techniques.....
Therefore, the best perspective is a paradoxical one: When facing a problem, go toward uncertainty and distress.
#2. Create an offensive strategy—seek to be clumsy, awkward, uncomfortable, and uncertain.
Shooting for clumsiness is a winning strategy.
Wanting to feel awkward and uncomfortable will counter your dysfunctional strategy of trying to get better while you simultaneously stay comfortable.
Seeking out uncertainty gives you a competing alternative to your impulse to become quickly certain of a safe outcome.#3. Believe you can cope with failure.
The way to push back against your worries and defenses is to be willing to not know how things are going to turn out, and go forward anyway. That is a courageous action: to want uncertainty. And it incorporates all three of the principles of this article: Lead with a paradoxical frame of reference, push into your awkwardness and doubt, and be willing to lose in order to win. That is your ticket out of your suffering."
#1. Focus solely on a new frame of reference, not on techniques.....
Therefore, the best perspective is a paradoxical one: When facing a problem, go toward uncertainty and distress.
#2. Create an offensive strategy—seek to be clumsy, awkward, uncomfortable, and uncertain.
Shooting for clumsiness is a winning strategy.
Wanting to feel awkward and uncomfortable will counter your dysfunctional strategy of trying to get better while you simultaneously stay comfortable.
Seeking out uncertainty gives you a competing alternative to your impulse to become quickly certain of a safe outcome.#3. Believe you can cope with failure.
The way to push back against your worries and defenses is to be willing to not know how things are going to turn out, and go forward anyway. That is a courageous action: to want uncertainty. And it incorporates all three of the principles of this article: Lead with a paradoxical frame of reference, push into your awkwardness and doubt, and be willing to lose in order to win. That is your ticket out of your suffering."