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View Full Version : Hi all - flying tomorrow - & some bad news from mayo cli


vester
11-01-2004, 12:44 AM
Hi all...

For those that dont know...Ok - background. Husband is 28 has segmental NF in his sacrum and left leg. We went to Mayo 6 months ago - found all this out. I BEGGED them to do an MRI of his leg (where all his pain seems to be) but they said since they found NF in his sacrum, they will just forgo it, which made me upset.

Fast forward. 6 month check up. I had to BEG three times on the phone for them to do an MRI of his leg. They finally agreed.

Turns out....HALF of his leg is a plexiform neurofibroma. We just found out last Friday.

The good news (there is little) that my husband doesnt FEEL any worse than a year ago - that the MRI's on his sacrum havent shown growth - and that he is doing well with pain because of neurontin and ultram.

The bad news - I am so upset that they didnt do an MRI 6 months ago - so that I could deal with this THEN when I dealt with the whole fact he has NF. I'm SO UPSET that this is so huge...I mean, you would GASP if you saw it on the MRI.

They cant do surgery to debulk because its basically his whole leg. Where do you start? It would cause extensive damage, cause more pain, they would probably grow back and there is no assurance they would get the ones that might turn malignant.

*deep breath*

Ok - so I know that technically he is no different than yesterday - but this knowledge - and the MRI - scared the hell out of me. I mean, it is so huge.

Now we are lucky (I guess) that its only segmental - so he wont probably get this anywhere else. But trust me - this one place is enough. Its huge.

I am so scared.

1. What if this grows bigger (which it will, we all know that) He is only 28. They can manage the pain with drugs, but my God. How terrifying. The pain.

2. The big one. Malignancy. As you all know you cant tell on an MRI if something is malignant...and he has so many. I know the statistics say 5%, but the more you have I have heard the more that rate goes up...and he has so many.

I'm terrified. and upset that they didnt do the MRI like I asked 6 months ago. Then we would have something to compare it to.

I just feel like I've been sent home on some "death watch" to wait. I feel like they are saying...well, they COULD BE malignant now, we just dont know. They could be malignant in 50 years. They could never be malignant. And so here I sit - waiting....wondering if this is the last Christmas I have with him....etc.

I know that the chance of it turning malignant are low - but if you saw this thing....it is huge. And I'm terrified. We really never thought it was that big.

I am doing better now than a week ago for sure. We are pretty sure that this has stabalized, and we have looked into going to KU Med and also going to Cleveland Clinic or MD Anderson. We will see a doctor in 4 months at KU Med for check ups and another MRI for comparison...

Thank you all for sticking by me - and supporting me.

On the flying front- I am flying tomorrow for work to Minneapolis. I have to say I'm not that scared. With everything else - it really puts things in perspective (unfortuantely) Before Iwould have been really nervous of terrorists or whatever the day before the eleciton - now I'm like....whatever. I dont care. I think I'm just numb.

Ok - well I've talked everyone ear off - but if anyone wants to track me :) I will be on Northwest from kansas city to minneapolis at 12:20pm tomorrow --

thanks again for being so supportive over these past few months with my husband and especially with what happened on the other board and what some callous people said about my situation. thank you so much again...

Vester (Annette)

WillFlyToDisney2
11-01-2004, 12:45 AM
BIG HUGS, Annette! :grouphug

Please keep us updated on his progress and yours.

Safe flights tomorrow!

Kelley

MadScientist
11-01-2004, 01:17 AM
Vester,

go tothis site (http://brain.hastypastry.net/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=190)

It is a small forum for NF but seems to have some recent activity. You may be able to get some answers there or at least get stuff off your chest.

take care

vester
11-01-2004, 02:09 AM
thank you for the link - I had heard of that place before! I will check it out.

I go to a place called www.nf.org which is the website for nf, etc. Its been a great help. And I am actually now the President of the National neurofibromatosis Foundation for Kansas :) We are having a pub crawl in April, 2005 - so maybe you could all fly out for it haha! :)

Thanks again for all your support and I will check out that website!

Vester

beaugest
11-01-2004, 02:19 AM
Vester, I don't know that there is much concrete that we can say that will make you feel better. But I do know this without a doubt---talking about it will help. Reaching out to us and your support systems will help. Remembering techniques you've learned for relaxation with FOF can be applied here. Try (as hard as you can) not to let your mind run with the anxiety. Focus on the facts that are positive. Pull back and try and deal with what's in front of you today. None of us know what tomorrow will bring. So, as much as you can stick with the One Day at A Time philosophy. I know that this is so easy to say and incredibly hard to do. And no surprise coming from me---consider speaking to a therapist. Sometimes we get so caught up in nurturing the person we love we forget how exhausted we can get.
But we are certainly here for you as a support. Anytime. Really. Monica

Passenger Mark
11-01-2004, 02:50 AM
We are there... or here... you come on and keep us updated... Ok?

My thoughts, prayers, and hugs are there also.

I will be on inspections tomorrow, but I will keep you in mind.

Take care,

Mark

MadScientist
11-01-2004, 03:28 AM
Vester,
That particular forum is small but it has had activity in the last 2 days. It's a good site overall. Unfortunately, I've had to be in the neuromuscular forums myself.

Chelle
11-01-2004, 03:40 AM
Annette, I am so sorry you and your husband are faced with this :hug

I can imagine your frustration with the doctors, after demanding an MRI months ago. I guess the only good part is at least now they know what they're dealing with and what to do about it. Medical technology is advancing every day...

You will both be in my thoughts and prayers. Please keep us posted...

Chelle

Disney fan
11-01-2004, 05:18 AM
Annette,
I am so sorry that you have to go through all this!!! Remember we are here to support you, will be thinking of you and your husband.:pray

Keep us updated.

Have a good flight.


Lynda

Debbielevis2
11-01-2004, 11:42 AM
Annette

I know that you've already been through hell and back.

There's nothing any of us can say that'll help you or make it better for you.

All we can do, which I guess is what we ARE doing, is to let you know that you've got a place to vent, a place to cry, and a place to celebrate any victories.

Godspeed

Debbie

vester
11-01-2004, 01:47 PM
Thank you all again.

You know its interesting - the fear of flying is just about control really. And now since I guess I didnt learn my lesson from God that way - I have to be put in this siaution with my husband and learn that REALLY I have no control. I have to just give it to Him and just not worry. (easier said than done) But, its sad that my husband has to go through this for me to learn this lesson - although maybe he is learning lessons too - etc.

If my story is an inspiration to anyone - I hope that it is. PLEASE fly. Go out there and live your dreams. When they say life is short - they aren't kidding. Go ahead and be scared - but please get on the plane. Please.

Live your dreams. I am so glad that my husband and I went to Europe - it was such a wonderful vacation and a memory we will always have.

Vester

ChiefAtHeart
11-01-2004, 02:10 PM
It is hard to know what to say at times like these. I'm sorry you both are going through such a rough time. Cherish every moment you have together. May there be many, many more.

Wishing you all the best!
Jennifer

canoga
11-01-2004, 02:14 PM
I work at the Cleveland Clinic. I am in Cardiology (I'm a programmer, not an MD) but will help you get in touch with anyone that you need to. I think the Cleveland Clinic is tops. I work with docs EVERY day. It is irritating because they are so compulsive but that means great care for the pt. They don't leave any stone unturned.

Let me know.....
Beth

vester
11-01-2004, 02:34 PM
Wow - you work at Cleveland Clinic, huh? wow!

We have heard WONDERFUL things about them from the www.nf.org website.

Do you know anything about Dr. Bruce Kopf I think is how you spell his name - and he would work in neurology and/or genetics and works in the neurofibromatosis clinic?

Thanks!!!!!!!!! Oh and my private email is annette_novak@yahoo.com :)

Vester

VictoriaW
11-01-2004, 03:43 PM
You will be in my thoughts and prayers...that your flight will
be a smooth one and that the cross that you are bearing right now will be alleiviated some...

Take care,

Vicky

YankssRule
11-01-2004, 05:02 PM
Annette,

My thoughts and prayers are also with you and your hubby. I know this is hard, but try and keep your hopes up. Keep us updated. We are here to listen, try and help, and to also offer our support.

Janet

xiknal
11-01-2004, 08:40 PM
Hi, Annette,

I am so sorry to hear that you have received unhappy tidings but I hope that the best possibilities will still unfold. I trust that you and your husband have turned over every stone in the realm of research and clinical trials--but if not, there's good info online on just about every clinical trial that exists.

I think that when real dangers arise, the FoF dragon (who is really just a critter of the imagination) tends to shrivel in the shadow. It's another hint as to its true nature.

I wish you the best of good fortune in these difficult times.

Barb

xiknal
11-01-2004, 08:43 PM
you wrote:

Unfortunately, I've had to be in the neuromuscular forums myself.

I don't want to pry...but this has me concerned for your sake. I hope you are doing OK. No pressure for details, but you have good support here for more than just FoF.

Barb :nod

JPenny
11-02-2004, 02:49 AM
And now since I guess I didnt learn my lesson from God that way - I have to be put in this siaution with my husband and learn that REALLY I have no control. I have to just give it to Him and just not worry. (easier said than done) But, its sad that my husband has to go through this for me to learn this lesson - although maybe he is learning lessons too - etc.

God makes no mistakes. Keep your trust in Him. Praying for you and your husband.

Jean