can't seem to book my flight...

[KellyBunny]

(please excuse my long post...I didnt plan on it being this long)

Hi Everyone,Im new to the forum, my name is Kelly, I'm 24 and I live in Los Angeles. I've had this intense fear of flying for the past 4 years. Nobody seems to understand my issues, my family and friends find my fear to be ridiculous. I use to be perfectly ok with flying, just a little nervous during take off but perfectly fine otherwise. Then something happened when I went to Hawaii 4 years ago, I blame it on a bad landing...it was awful...a woman on the plane actually screamed. I ended up spending my whole vacation looking at the planes in the sky and thinking "I dont want to get back on a plane...I'm taking a boat back."

Well, that was that, I never got back on a plane.My fear got so bad I couldn't even be near the airport or see a plane without being completely terrified.

So far I've missed vacations to Europe (where I have family as well as vacation homes), I've also missed countless trips in the US. And I think I've finally reached my breaking point. My family just left for Europe again and I had some friends leave for vacation in China. I dropped all of them off at the airport and this last time when I took my father to the airport, my heart broke. I looked at everyone walking around with their boarding passes and luggage...they were all going somewhere and I was sooooo envious. Finally I said 'good bye' to my Dad and all I could think was "I should be with him, I should be boarding the plane, I should be going somewhere like all these other people..." I felt cursed. Why was I so scared?

Before going to my car I stopped to look at the planes. I spotted my dads plane, the plane I should've been on. And I felt oddly comfortable and at peace. I didn't look so scary all of a sudden, and I got this glimmer of hope that maybe I could do this. I continued to watch the planes land and takeoff for a while.I text my boyfriend and said "Im proud of myself, Im totally comfortable around these planes." he wrote back "You're not scared because you know you're not going anywhere." All my confidence shattered. I was thinking maybe I would be ok if I was boarding the plane but there was no way to know because I wasnt getting on a plane.

So now it's 2 weeks later...my family tells me day in and day out to buy a ticket and join them. I actually got out my frequent flyer card, my passport, and the credit card my dad gave me "in case I changed my mind" and started planning my vacation. 10 times a day I get in front of the computer and go to British Airways website, fill out all the forms, select the flights and I go thru all the motion but I can't seem to bring myself to book the flight. I really want to go, but I always come up with an excuse.

First the flights prices had gone thru the roof and I felt that it would be wrong to spend that much money on a flight. But the last 2 days the prices dropped, now they are actually pretty cheap. Then I talked to my boyfriend, who I thought would be selfish and tell me to stay but he ended up telling me "You need to go, you can't live your life like this and this is the only way you're going to get over this." Then the power went out which became my new convenient excuse.

My final excuse last night was that I needed a sign. I don't know why, but that's how I'm justifying things in my head. I said out loud "I need a sign. Maybe something about Europe or british airways...something." I was about to turn off my tv and go to bed when I heard on the tv 2 people talking about France...there was my sign...I was out of excuses

Now my only excuse is, I'm scared. I'm scared because I don't know how I'm going to behave or react on the plane because I've never been on a flight since my fear began. I'm scared of being scared for 10 whole hours. And that its not over after the first flight, I still have a connecting flight! What if I get so scared that I can't even get on my connecting flight in London. Am I just going to be a resident at Heathrow airport? I'm scared that even if I conquer all of this, I still have to do it again to come back home.

I know I have to do fly eventually. It's unavoidable, this is going to come up every summer. And I just want to get it over with but I just can't hit that submit button...

[Barb-SAN]

My final excuse last night was that I needed a sign.
Hmmm, maybe you could take it as a good sign that you found Taking Flight? :D

Welcome aboard...you will find plenty of people here who understand exactly what you are talking about and going through. Please feel free to browse the archives, and read some of the many success stories.

I sure hope you will be able to hit that "submit" button, and join your family. A trip to Europe sounds wonderful! :thumbsup:

[AndyR]

Have your boyfriend book the flight for you. I have found a weird sense of relief when I book flights. Like one small step has been taken. Just do it.

Also about being scared for 10 hours. You can't. Your body won't really let you. After an hour or two you just sort of run out of energy and give up.

Ever have a lot of dental work done? To me it's the same thing. Nervous at first and then after a little while you just sort of give up.

You're young, you need to face this now. You have already missed several opportunities and you need to live your life.

Your trips to the airport dropping your friends and family off were way more risky than the flight over the pond.

Good luck, you are welcome here. This site has helped me fly with much more confidence. I am leaving for Costa Rica on Sunday and am actually excited to go. I'm sure you will find some good advice from the wonderful people here.

Andy

[Getb0rn]

Hey and welcome to this amazing site, I think now your here you will deffinately fly again because you have found an awesome support network.

I just arrived back from europe on Monday and I loved it. Being in Australia we are so far away from everything most of our flights are long haul. I have only done 2 (well 4 inc return) last year to US and this year to Europe. I actually find I look forward to the longer flights because you settle in and get used to just flying.

When I was terrified of my long haul to the US someone offered me the most honest advice... that all long haul flight is... is boring. And thats the truth, just sitting for a few hours watching movies and eating food...

My best friend just few from New York to London with BA and she really liked them. Said the service was great, and she'd fly them again in a heat beat.

You don't have to take up this challenge right now. but imagine how cool it would be to be in Europe!! You can always develope a time frame when you'd like to take your first flight, or take the big leap and go now. Remember it's up to you but we are all here for you!

[Barb-SAN]

Have your boyfriend book the flight for you.

:lol: No excuses....

[aerobat]

Hi, KellyBunny,

It would be an important step to book the flight, or have someone book it for you. And it's also important that you have taken several other steps leading up to that one, so bravo! for you.:tiphat::tiphat:

You have learned that you can desensitize to the airport and to seeing lots of planes arriving and departing. This is essentially what we all do to get back into the air (speaking as one who's been grounded and now loves to fly). I will say that flying to Europe is a pretty big first bite, so...what about this:

Book the flight for several days out. Then book (for a day before the long haul) a short domestic flight--a roundtrip where you hop up to, say, Portland and back, same day. And before you do that short one, arm yourself with a big dose of knowledge and support here. We'll answer your questions, and we'll round up Hutch to answer those that require an airline pilot's expertise.

Go to anxieties.com:

http://www.anxieties.com

and soak up everything there about anxiety. Once you understand that the problem is totally in your head (with no shame whatever; it was an accident, just like a broken ankle on the ski slope) and also that the territory in there has been mapped (yep, neurochemically we are all pretty much clones of one another :)), then I think you'll muster some "attitude" about this which will get things rolling. Plus you'll have some tools. You'll never be more motivated than you are right now, and motivation is more than half the battle.

What do you say?

[ebberr]

Hello Kelly Bunny I am having the same problem. I want to see my family up in Massachusetts (I am in Florida) but I can not book the flight. I have a lot of family members upset and disappointed with me and I have told them my fear.
I find myself looking every day the past week for flights. I don't know why I am doing it because I don't get to the last step as i just get scared and go to a different screen.
I have had some flights with bad turbulence (or what i thought was bad). I think also since I didn't start flying till I was in my 20's and I am already an anxious person.
I want to get over the fear. I hope you are able to make your flight.

[MathFox]

hello ebberr
I am having the same problem. I want to see my family up in Massachusetts (I am in Florida) but I can not book the flight. [...] I want to get over the fear.
:welcome2:
You too can get over it; if you read a few threads here you see our "standard advice", go over to anxieties.com and come back with questions. Don't hesitate to start a new thread if you have a specific question or like to properly introduce yourself.
:grouphug:

[KellyBunny]

thank you to everyone who responded! you all are amazing and all had some really helpful things to say. I plan on booking my flight tonight....cross your fingers...

and to ebberr...good luck to you as well...I know how difficult it is to not get past that last step and feel totally defeated. I'll complete my last step if you complete yours!;)

[AndyR]

Book it!!!!!