Newbie here

[Drae]

Here's what's stupid about my fear of flying.

I used to fly just fine. The very first flight I took, was awesome. I loved it. There were 2 flights to my trip, and 2 to get back home, all US. I did the exact same trip the next year, even one being 3 weeks after Sept. 11. I had NO FEAR. In fact, I LOVED flying. It was just the best. I told my friend I wanted to just go to the airport one day, and just fly around the country all day long.

Then I took a trip to the east coast - it went fine, I think it was my 2nd east coast trip and 4th trip total involving planes. I felt turbulence. I never really felt much before. This freaked me out a bit. It was never quite the same, but then again I wasn't really afraid to fly. I still did it, but it started to become boring to me and it wasn't all that great, and I kind of worried about and felt a bit of turbulence. STILL - no big deal. I flew more over the next few years, and yeah I might grip a seat handle tight here and there and feel a knot in my stomach, but it was NOT a problem.

I flew to Germany from the US and back. The big issue was getting headache and nausea, having to bug my seatmate to get up for the restroom. The actual flying and fear of it wasn't an issue. I just hated being stuck on a plane, boredom, can't sleep, etc.

So I flew more, and from the US to my new home in the UK, whatever. Flew from UK to mainland Europe. Not really a problem either.

Then I came to the US for a visit. My cross-country flight went so well! No headaches, nausea, nothing. I really paced myself and felt pretty happy.

Sooo... I am in the US and I take this quick flight from Phoenix to El Paso and I experience this nasty turbulence. The flight attendent falls on me. I am FREAKED. I have this mini-type panic attack and start bawling and I am scared out of my MIND.

I fly back to the UK white knuckling it and freaked out mostly... the plane seemed like it wouldn't stop shaking and I just felt sick and couldn't stand being on that plane.

Funny thing is, once in the US a few years prior to this I actually FLEW a plane myself, I took a lesson. It was more for fun, the instructor did a lot of the work but I was at the controls for sometime, helped with take-off and landing, had fun.

What in the world? I go from LOVING flying and flying a plane myself to being so freakin' AFRAID. Now with the Hudson river landing, the Air France and Yemen stuff, I get so sick thinking about being on a plane!!!

With my life, I can't NOT fly. Believe me I'd love to just not, but it's going to have to happen. My husband's job might involve us moving to Japan which means 20-30 hours on a plane - what will I do? I can't sleep on a plane.

I think in November I might fly to Venice - from UK about 2 hours. I guess baby-steps right.

[MathFox]

Hi, :welcome2:

It is not uncommon that people develop FoF at a later age... more to lose and more stress are common causes for that. In general we offer the same advice, go to www.anxieties.com; do the "fear of flying" track, practice the excersises... If you have more specific questions, come back and ask them.

My question is: What is your particular fear? What aspects of flying do you fear most? What things about flying don't bother you at all?
You have a history of good flight, with only one bad one. And you survived that one... :angel:

[aerobat]

I felt turbulence. I never really felt much before. This freaked me out a bit. It was never quite the same, but then again I wasn't really afraid to fly. I still did it, but it started to become boring to me and it wasn't all that great, and I kind of worried about and felt a bit of turbulence. STILL - no big deal. I flew more over the next few years, and yeah I might grip a seat handle tight here and there and feel a knot in my stomach, but it was NOT a problem.


Hi, Drae, and welcome! :welcome:

If there's any mystery about what has happened to you, it's pretty well explained in your paragraph above. Your first encounter with turbulence sensitized you to it, and you became increasingly sensitized by continuing to fly--via re-experiencing turb and also via worrying about re-experiencing it. All this happened to you while you were still in the "innocence" stage; you'd flown just often enough to feel comfort and enjoyment, with some remaining excitement at the beauty and the sensations and the technological wonder of it, and your attitude about it up to that point was "yeah, I love it!".

So I'm guessing that what you refer to as the "beginnings of boredom" was in fact the loss of excitement and a creeping distrust of the situation, because it's hard to abandon ourselves to excitement when we cannot trust. And a lot of this was--as is common--going on beneath conscious awareness. Consciously you were still telling yourself that you were not afraid, that it was no big deal. But...

...in fact, it was the real deal--the real beginning of of a cascade of increasing sensitivity to smaller and smaller triggers. Please check this out:

http://homepage.mac.com/lesposen/iblog/B80495344/C1011884342/index.html (http://homepage.mac.com/lesposen/iblog/B80495344/C1011884342/index.html)
[/URL]

There's a also an excellent section on turbulence which explains why we are hard-wired to not like it, and what we need to do to override that discomfort:

[URL="http://homepage.mac.com/lesposen/iblog/B80495344/C2128971884/index.html"]http://homepage.mac.com/lesposen/iblog/B80495344/C2128971884/index.html (http://www.flightwise.com.au/)

I am thinking that you will have to do some intentional desensitization. It can be done with the techniques at anxieties.com, and with some supplementary techniques I have shared in various posts here. It is also important to keep flying, but not without preparation--which turns each flight into a FoF "workstation".

I see no reason why you can't achieve as much success as any of us here. Please spend some time at anxieties.com and tell us what sorts of aha!s you're getting.

[Drae]

Wow thanks guys. I'll definitely be checking out those links you sent. I'll try anything! I'm reading the Duane Brown book I've heard a lot too.

Funny is I don't worry a lot about the noises - another reason I feel silly - if I am flying with my husband, he would explain things to me and tell me they were "normal". He works on jet engines for the military - they have their differences with the commerical airline engines, but are a lot alike, so he could tell when things were they way they should be - and they always were on every flight I was with him. But he hates turbulence too!

MathFox - Turbulence is what does it for me. And also, I read the landing is the least safe, but I'll tell you what - once we are on the ground, I don't care if we crashed. That's crazy I know! But it's being in the air that bothers me, as if we are going to fall. I don't care so much how rough the landing is, as long as the wheels have touched the ground, I have a huge sense of relief.

I admit the whole Air France thing got me as well. I probably read too much speculation. But I thought a plane would glide if everything quit, and I read that it just dropped on it's belly. I thought turbulence and storms couldn't do that, but it appears that it did. Still, even if that's not it whatever happened, CAN happen and I worry about that. Although I never fly in that equator zone (Forget it's official name) and I probably never will!