I Want This, I want to say f you fear

[teddymills]

I have a 10,000km trip coming up in 2 weeks time.
Everything moving into place.Passport and bookings being done now.

The last time I flew it was 15 years ago.
I went by myself from Toronto to London.
That trip went fine with no issues.
I had some stiff drinks and read some books and even slept
on the way back. I am trying to put myself into that mode I had in 1995.


I think about all the possible things that could go wrong.
And there are a lot. I realize thing of all the things that could go wrong is the thing driving my fear. I should just be a piece of cargo. If I put a box on that plane I know it will get there and back no problems. I want to be that piece of cargo :)

I think about the plane getting off the ground at takeoff. It would really suck to leave this world by a 200 mph crash and a fireball of jet flames.

I think about problems in the hydraulics. Like the rudder getting stuck turning the plane over and no one can fix it.

I think about the engines, driveshaft, carbon fibre fan blades.
If anything breaks we are going to have a pretty bad day.

I think about flying over the ocean, and at night. If there are any problems, we definitely have problems Houston!

I know all about the safety records.
I know riding my bike to work is more dangerous than flying.

The difference is, when I am riding my bike, I am in control. If I mess up, its my fault. When I step off the causeway into the that plane, and the door closes, then I have zero control.

Sitting in the plane, as it slowly taxis into position and hear strange sounds, hydralics as the plane moves faster, weird sounds and finally into the air!

Any form of transportation when I am not in control, there too I have zero control. This includes subway trains, buses, cars, elevators etc. None of those bother me. None of those are carrying thousands of pounds of jet fuel going 600mph, 5 miles over the Pacific ocean at night either.

I read some advice last night. It says if you are scared you are not ready. If you are nervous then you are. I do not know the difference.

I want to take this trip SO MUCH! and tell my fear of flying to go **** itself.

I thought about apathy. Just saying ok. I am expecting the plane will blow up or crash. And if it does not then its a plus. Not sure if thats helpful to me or not. I was told during anxiety courses to just accept the worst case scenario.

I will be seeing my doctor for Ativan and getting her advice before I go. As well my friend will be with me. If we crash, I will be in good company.

Any advice?

[MathFox]

The difference is, when I am riding my bike, I am in control. If I mess up, its my fault. When I step off the causeway into the that plane, and the door closes, then I have zero control.

Sitting in the plane, as it slowly taxis into position and hear strange sounds, hydralics as the plane moves faster, weird sounds and finally into the air!

Any form of transportation when I am not in control, there too I have zero control. This includes subway trains, buses, cars, elevators etc. None of those bother me.


I read two issues: control and familiarity. Yes, you are going to give up some control the moment you step into the plane, but that is not more than when you step into a bus (Or get on your bike and get hit by a drunk driver...) Airlines do a lot of hard work to get you to your destination safely. If you think you'ld feel better meeting the pilots in person before the flight, we have a sample letter you can use as introduction to the airline employees. It is in one of the "sticky posts" in this thread.

There are several ways to become more familiar with flying, the best way is "just doing it", but that gets very expensive quickly. There are some "Fear of Flying" books that explain every possible sound (see the resources page); you could buy one and work through it in two weeks. Pick up some techniques to control your anxiety, so that you feel more comfortable. For some people it helps to print pictures (interior or exterior) of the plane they'll be flying in. Put them on the mirror, as background in your computer...

The last issue, which is so subtle that most people don't recognise it, is selective media-exposure. When you watch TV (or read the newspaper) you see more plane crash reports than car crash reports. Hollywood fuels the fear by showing impressive fireballs and screaming panic in the cabin. Reality is that car accidents happen every day and airline accidents are rare. But all the media exposure triggers your unconscious "statistical self" counting "bad accident" per media report. Try discussing the news with a colleague who reads a (politically) different newspaper. ;-)

[teddymills]

I thought about something last night.

Time Theory
==========
Time is infinite.
Even a second can be sliced into an infinite amount of units.
I think like that when flying. I slice up time, every second, minute, every hour.
The plane had to be perfect from second to second.
Thinking like this is very exhausting and mathematically correct.


Binary Theory
==========
My new mode of thinking is this.
Binary.

************************************************** ************************************************** *
WHEN I STEP INTO A PLANE, IT IS MATHEMATICALLY GUARANTEED TO
ARRIVE SAFELY OR NOT ARRIVE SAFELY. IT CANNOT BE ANYTHING ELSE.
BEAUTIFUL!
************************************************** ************************************************** *

************************************************** ************************************************** *
DONT THINK ABOUT THE PLANE AT ALL.
I DO NOT THINK ABOUT CARS, SUBWAYS,TRAINS OR ANY OTHER FORM OF
TRANSPORTATION WHEN I USE THEM.
BY PLANE IS BY FAR THE SAFEST OF THEM ALL
************************************************** ************************************************** *
It is just as true as the first theory.
Makes no sense to worry at all during the flight. The flight has not yet ended yet!
Wait until the flight has ended.
If I use the TIME theory, I worry all the time.(and it serves zero purpose!)

If I use this BINARY theory. I only need to worry when the flight has ended (strangely enough)
And it is a LOT easier to do, and just as mathematically as true as the TIME theory.

The odds are in my favour.
7 million flights without a problem, in my favour.
19,000 years of flying every day without a problem in my favour.
I can live with those odds.

I have a 10,000km trip coming up in 2 weeks time.
Everything moving into place.Passport and bookings being done now.

The last time I flew it was 15 years ago.
I went by myself from Toronto to London.
That trip went fine with no issues.
I had some stiff drinks and read some books and even slept
on the way back. I am trying to put myself into that mode I had in 1995.


I think about all the possible things that could go wrong.
And there are a lot. I realize thing of all the things that could go wrong is the thing driving my fear. I should just be a piece of cargo. If I put a box on that plane I know it will get there and back no problems. I want to be that piece of cargo :)

I think about the plane getting off the ground at takeoff. It would really suck to leave this world by a 200 mph crash and a fireball of jet flames.

I think about problems in the hydraulics. Like the rudder getting stuck turning the plane over and no one can fix it.

I think about the engines, driveshaft, carbon fibre fan blades.
If anything breaks we are going to have a pretty bad day.

I think about flying over the ocean, and at night. If there are any problems, we definitely have problems Houston!

I know all about the safety records.
I know riding my bike to work is more dangerous than flying.

The difference is, when I am riding my bike, I am in control. If I mess up, its my fault. When I step off the causeway into the that plane, and the door closes, then I have zero control.

Sitting in the plane, as it slowly taxis into position and hear strange sounds, hydralics as the plane moves faster, weird sounds and finally into the air!

Any form of transportation when I am not in control, there too I have zero control. This includes subway trains, buses, cars, elevators etc. None of those bother me. None of those are carrying thousands of pounds of jet fuel going 600mph, 5 miles over the Pacific ocean at night either.

I read some advice last night. It says if you are scared you are not ready. If you are nervous then you are. I do not know the difference.

I want to take this trip SO MUCH! and tell my fear of flying to go **** itself.

I thought about apathy. Just saying ok. I am expecting the plane will blow up or crash. And if it does not then its a plus. Not sure if thats helpful to me or not. I was told during anxiety courses to just accept the worst case scenario.

I will be seeing my doctor for Ativan and getting her advice before I go. As well my friend will be with me. If we crash, I will be in good company.

Any advice?