Scared Or Cured Or In-Between?

[noflyingfan]

I was curious...at what point in our magical journey to get over fear of flying are we? I myself doubt I'll ever be entirely "cured," but I am creeping up that scale. A few years ago, I was at the "Refuses To Fly Ever Again" mark, but little by little, I'm moving up. I'd say right now, I'm at "Pretty Scared But Not Always Convinced That Airplanes = Death."

How about you?

[Passenger Mark]

Ericka... You come up with the best questions! Must be the reporter in you!

Anyways... I am at the "dread the flight (some) but once I am doing it, I am fine" Stage.

Just one year ago... I could not imagine myself on a plane!

[noflyingfan]

Mark, it's just another way to talk about myself. I am, after all, fascinating. :p

Actually, though, yeah, I do have many many questions. Just wait till I really get going in the Club TF forum.

:hamster :hamster :hamster :hamster :hamster :hamster

[xiknal]

cured. :)

but not normal! :dancers

geez, obviously not normal if I have to edit THIS message...:blush

[LesliePHX]

I don't think the line goes straight up. In my experience, if you graph it, it's an upward-moving line time-wise -- scared at the bottom and cured at the top -- with some significant dips all the way. I'm usually either climbing or dipping, but when I look at the overall graph, I'm a lot better than I was when I first sought help.

But you know what's funny? That we ask ourselves this question at all. (And I do, all the time, so I'm glad Erika brought it up!)

I recently learned that a non-FOF coworker, returning to his Colorado Springs home from a quick stint Phoenix, refused to make his Denver-Colorado Springs connection and rented a car instead because his Denver landing had been so bumpy. He said (paraphrase), "I'm not flying in THAT again!" and bailed on the 15-minute rocky ride between Denver and the Springs, driving the 70 miles instead. This guy would never consider himself a fearful flyer.

Now if it had been me, doing a rocky landing in Denver with a Colorado Springs connection ahead, I couldn't have bailed. It would have made me feel like an FOF failure. I would HAVE to take that flight; otherwise, I'd think FOF had gotten the best of me. But this guy, he just thought, "Forget going through this again, I'm renting a car" with no am-I-having-a-setback self-recrimination at all.

Maybe it's best not to rate ourselves and just do what we need to do? I think at some point, we realize there's just not that much difference between ourselves and the non-fearfuls except how we label ourselves.

[StPeteMark]

I'm with you...I'd keep on going for each step forward is another success you can build upon. That old simple saying, "face the fear and it will disappear", really works...eventually, nearly 100%.

Heck, that's why we're here...we hated the confinement of being grounded. We have motivation! With education and group support, we will succeed!!!!!

StPeteMark :hail

[beaugest]

I think Les is right. I think for most of us are FOF doesn't exist in a vacuum. So, we can do fine for awhile,get stressed out about something unrelated, get on the plane with higher anxiety and have a yucky flight. I really agree that the thing to do is just count each sucess. Everytime we do something well it helps through those bad times. Oh man, that sounds like a line from a Country western song again. I have to see if Kelley will hire me.:band

[xiknal]

I also feel that the territory of our recovery overlaps with that of so-called normals. It's not a boundary at all, but a continuum. I know people--a number of them--who have blips of anxiety and do magical little things when they fly (pat the plane, carry amulets, make out wills) but who would never consider themselves "fearful fliers".

I certainly had stressful preludes to flights which set me up for less comfortable flights, but overall--and this seemed to apply to every flight to some degree--there was a sense of being on a path :dragonslayer and being true to the path--and that component meant that I came back to earth from every sojourn aloft glad I had done it and had learned more, and proved to myself once again that the flying part is safe and the rest is my imagination. That made every flight a good one, by those criteria of progress, courage, disconfirmation and the excitement and joy of the experience--they were all always there. I say 'were' because lately my flights have been very easy and comfortable without a sense of marching onward...so maybe that means I am really cured, whatever that means. I know I won't be normal in the sense of jaded, frustrated by hassles, impatient over delays --geez...one can take Greyhound from NY to Los Angeles for a little perspective! :blech

[Passenger Mark]

one can take Greyhound from NY to Los Angeles for a little perspective!

http://greyhound.com/company/images/102d3.jpg

There is a thought to kill your fear of flying!

Instead of the fear of the rat... :hamster

It is the fear of the dog! http://store1.yimg.com/I/greyhoundlogoshop_1806_259153

[xiknal]

uuuhhhhh...

:rotflmao

it is the fear of the groaty, gross, exhausted, gritty sour-mouthed insomniac toilet-stink and sleazy middle of the night bus stations in godfersaken little towns in nameless states of midwestern frozen miasma with searing bright lights and red and yellow paint splattered together like catsup and mustard and :barf bad coffee and blaring bad music and foul cigarettes and stale doughnuts and strange people and you dig, maybe a Kerouac character woulda traveled this way when he was flush enough to not have to hitchhike...terror of THAT dog, o lord, yes, pure unmitigated and truest terror in all of beatdom :wired

[Passenger Mark]

Hmmm.... Sounds like my last family reunion!

[xiknal]

Hmmm.... Sounds like my last family reunion!

the getting there? or the being there? or both?

nothin' like fear of the dog to shake a little sense into us, eh? That's what dragged me, kicking and screaming, onto the road to recovery... :jump

[sengelin]

Want to cure your fear of flying for good? Do what I did last Christmas... take Amtrak on a 3-day 2000-mile trip... each direction. I love trains, but Amtrak could learn a lot about passenger railroading from Europe.

As for my personal level of cure... I can fly now, which is better than a few years ago. I'm not jumping at the chance to do it but I'm past fearing for my life every time I get on a plane.

[Jeff California]

Amtrack.. I was considering a sleeper cab for my family from Cali-Illinois. Then, My mom in-law came here from Illinois.. She and dad HATED it. Said customer service was horrible.

I am a fan of trains. I have had many model HO scale train setups in my house over the years. I was excited to go on a train adventure across the country.I was sad to learn the sleeper cars offered by amtrack sucked.

Jeff

[Passenger Mark]

We (USA) seem to be so far behind Europe in the use of passenger trains. Don't know why that is. It is a great way to travel, if time allows.

The only Amtrac experience I have is two trips...

One from Anitson Alabama to New Orleans, and the other is several trips from Anaheim to San Diego.

They seemed ok, but don't think I would want to trek across the country that way.

[WillFlyToDisney2]

Sure Monica, great song. Just add a dog, a truck, some beer and an ex-wife and you have a HIT! LOL

For me, I know I am never cured. I still get nervous during turbulence and especially during bad weather. I have learned how to cope with these and my methods work for me most of the time. If I am feeling anxious BEFORE a flight, I meet the crew. Best thing to do! If I get nervous during a flight I turn up my Ipod music and try to go with the flow. I try to think of my pilot friends and how often they have told me that TURBULENCE IS NOT DANGEROUS to a plane. If the flight is so cloudy that I cant see the ground I shut my window shade and close my eyes or read a magazine.

Kelley