no control = fear.

[Jeff California]

I know this has been discussed many times in the past, but hey, whats one more time!!

Just finished reading marks big Christmas report for the third time.. Best flight report ever.

In the report he mentions seeing the palm Springs tram. It reminded me of the times I have taken that tram. Scared because I dont have control.. @#%$ imagination thinkign how we are going to fall many seconds before it hits the ground.

I have the same fear with elevators, but now, the fear pisses me off and I think "screw it, I hope it falls".. demented maybe, but it overcomes the fear.

Any of you have anxiety attacks out of the blue? I had them bad when i was a teen (im 31 now). I thought I was going to die, etc.. Even had my mom drive to the hospital once.. Luckily it subsided before I brought the burdon of a hospital bill on a single mom barely making ends meet.

Anyways, Marks report (took over an hour to read) makes me think many things. That was one that stuck out though. Fear of not having control.

[noflyingfan]

I definitely have control issues, although I don't know if they apply when I'm flying. When I'm in a car and not driving, I'm always freaked out, even if the driver is careful. I drive a lot for work, so I'm used to being at the wheel, and when I'm not, I feel weird. But if I get on a city bus or something, I'm not scared. (Well, sometimes scared of the passengers, but not of being out of control).

With flying, I think it's the same. If I was in control of the plane, now that would be something to worry about! But I guess I do have little control things. Meeting the pilot falls into this category I think; I may not be flying the plane, but I know that the guy who is knows who I am.

[StPeteMark]

"...Fear of not having control."

One of the tools I learned last year was giving up control...the result, along with using other tools, was low-anxiety flights. It works...even for me who has dealt with anxiety and panic disorder, and has been on medication, for the past 30 years.

StPeteMark :crazy

[beaugest]

Jeff, I think many people experience anxiety attacks out of the blue. It's part of what makes them scary. You don't know when they are going to hit. Then you're not sure if it is an anxiety attack so you worry if something is wrong with you. Then you get more anxious. Horrible cycle. There are some great behavioral,stress reduction techniques and some good meds that really help with it.
The National Institute of Mental Health has some good info on it. And it's free...

[ChrisLynch]

Must addmit I have a problem with this, I don't like going on trains either. In some ways I would rather have a hijacking on a plane that a serious technival problem. Because I feel I could maybe do something about a hijacker but in a technical crisis its sit in your seat and pray the captin can bring the plane down safely.

Chris

[Passenger Mark]

Jeff,

Good point...

There is no doubt that my FOF is based on "no control".

That is why I had so much trouble when the door shut. Because that was the line of where I gave up all control.

However...

I overcame this by looking at a few things...

How many times have we seen this: "I fear flying, but have no problem driving. After all... when I am driving, I AM IN CONTROL."

Really???

How much control do you have over that multi-ton truck that is next to you on the freeway going 70mph?

On a two lane road, how much control do you have over that vehicle coming your way?

How much control to you have over the drivers all around you as you go speeding down the freeway?

How much control do you "really" have over the mechanics working on your car?

What is the likelihood that the driver next to you is drunk, on drugs, mad at his/her mate, upset about work, talking on the cell phone, etc etc etc?

On an airliner, the pilots, yours and all the others up there, have strict guidelines in regards to training, sleep, drinking, etc.

On an airliner the mechanic's "personal" name goes with his/her work.

On an airliner there are strict guidelines as to who can go where, and when they can go there.

And then what REALLY helped me the most is just what Marco said... The most important passenger to the Captain, is himself/herself. If something occurs, they are going where I am going! So I may not have control, but they do, and that I have had to learn to trust.

Once I did, everything became much better.

After all, if I am going to trust some pimple faced teenager to operate a screaming roller-coaster I'm on in Vegas, I can sure trust a trained Airline Captain.

[StPeteMark]

Well said, PMark!

After really assessing the situation, I now gladly give up control to these professionals any day!!!! And, given the option of flying or driving, now I would chose flying without hesitation! (mainly for all the things you said) Just a little over a year ago, I would never have thought I would make such a statement...you couldn't get me on a plane for any amount of money. :nono

Flying rules!
StPeteMark :airplane

[ChrisLynch]

Mark your so right, its amazing how the brain can play tricks on you. I think driving is like anything you do it enough you get used to it. I think flying would be the same if you did it everyday, unfortuntaly I only fly once or twice a year so its kind of a big thing.

New Years relolution fly more LOL

Chris

[spleisher]

Guys,

JUst to add a small 2c to the concept of the pilot also being in the same boat as you, so to speak...

Remember, not only is the pilot's derriere strapped to the same rocket ship you are, if you're going to hit anything, he's up front so he's hitting it first! Food for thought!

:shocked

[xiknal]

Chris,

As a follow-up to what you've said, I can confirm that doing something very regularly--even something that scares the bejeebies out of a lot of people, makes it comfortable and ordinary. Then, of course, comes the risk of complacency...and that is one of the dangers we face as drivers on the freeway, too.

As a flight instructor, I'm up in those little 2-and 4-seater gnats five days a week, several flights a day. I sit through a lot of bad landings, too. I am quite used to it all. I get more edgy on the freeway--I have to do a 40-mile roundtrip commute to the airport.

But your goal of being comfortable as a passenger isn't going to require flying every day--not even every week. Once a month would be really helpful for a while, though, if you could manage that. :sunshine

Barb

[Jeff California]

I understand the logic comparing driving to flying, but it doesn't help me much. I am indestructible when Im behind the wheel of a car. I know that's not true, but my brain told me so:) Even though I almost died last year in a car accident.. Go figure. I wasnt scared in the car, but I was scared when they strapped me in the helicopter for the trip to ER.:scratch

[beaugest]

Jeff, what you're saying makes so much sense to me. If our anxiety was easily managed by reason---no one would ever be anxious. That's why it helps to go at it in two directions. Learn all the facts that you can so you have some concrete ammunition to talk yourself through the fear. But you also have to learn what triggers the anxiety for you specifically and what best helps you manage it. It may be stress reduction techniques, meds, humor,etc.
I find when people really start to think about it they know more about themselves then they realize(or as we say in therapyspeak---they display good insight...). So, the idea is to figure it out for you and work on it. Anyone on this board is already working on it. So, we're ahead of the game...:fly

[Passenger Mark]

Interesting stuff Monica!

For me just knowing what is happening is a great help.

When I get that "special feeling" (and not the good type) I know that it my OWN anxiety. I know it has nothing to do with the plane, my health, etc.

That takes a tremendous amount of energy out of the monster!