Doing our best...

[Passenger Mark]

In anything that we do in life... doing our best is all that we can expect. That includes dealing with The Fear of Flying.

Sure we can plan, research, study, paricipate, but when it comes down to getting on the plane... "our best" is all that can be expected.

I think that many of us have such an increidible desire to beat this thing, that we worry about the "what ifs".

Not the "what ifs" concerning the aircraft. But the "what ifs" concerning ourselves. What if we don't get on. What if we get off. What if we freak. What if we cry.

With the aircraft we answer the "what ifs" with facts. With ourselves we should answer the "what ifs" with the best we can do.

If we don't get on... then we did our best, and we try again. If we get off, then we did our best, and we try again. If we cry... we cry, and if we freak, we freak.

When we go to the airport, we decide to do our best. And then let it go.

I watched the Olympics this summer. They interviewed some of the athletes. They were asked if they were nervous. Some of the answers struck me, as they said no. That they had prepared, and all they could do now was their best.

It is truly like that with us. We prepare ourselves, and then go do our best.

[invert29]

Well said.

[xiknal]

Nice words, Mark and straight from the heart, I know.

Thoughts like these help us throw off the mantle of guilt, shame, and frustration with ourselves that accompanies this fear. Any part of ourselves that we can strengthen helps the rest of us, too. :)

[Jeff California]

Words of wisdom Mark.

I try to live my life without regret. I dont believe in guilt. live life on your terms and dont worry about what others say. If you are eclectic, so what. If you are loud and talk too much, so what. If you are shy and dont like crowds, so what. If you dont like flying on airplanes and sometimes even miss a flight due to your fear- SO WHAT. Its your business. Never be ashamed and never feel guilty. Work the problem if it bothers you.

Sorry for the rant. I am passionate about self esteem.
:grouphug

[CaptainStark]

Mark,

I saw that in the eyes of a passenger on my last flight this week. He suffered from claustrophobia.

He had walked off several planes in the recent past, one this very flight to PHX. His wife was seated up front and had a seat held hoping he'd show up and go through with the flight.

I got the cockpit pre-flight wrapped up and went in search of him. He was the last one in line and had a look of "I have tried everything this time..." in his eyes. He was trying meds (and had a few adult beverages). he was gonna give it the proverbial High School try. I talked with him for a few minutes until it was time to go. Once we closed the door we started engines ASAP and taxied right to the runway. After two minutes delay on the runway, we blasted for PHX. I called back from time to time to check on him and I guess he was zonked the whole flight. I wanted to chat with him when we landed but, understandably, he blasted as soon as the door opened.

Hope it was the first of many for him. I gave him this site and hopefully he'll show up here in a few days when he gets home.

Ray:ray

[Jeff California]

Captain,
It must make your job more interesting since you are "in touch" with this FOF thing. You can spot them and help them better than other pilots. Ever considered a program dealing with FOF's at the airport? I suppose the pay wouldnt be as good, but it would be neat to have a captain roaming the airport spotting FOF's and addressing their concerns about aero safety..

[StPeteMark]

I hope he has the "want" to seek the help and the resources this board offers. It wasn't that long ago when I might have acted that way if I flew...but, flying wasn't even considered an option. Without making a commitment, he risks being grounded indefinitely. Wishing him the strength to be an informed FF!

StPeteMark :nod

[xiknal]

Ray, you did him a wonderful turn :thumbsup , even though you may never know the outcome, unless he comes here. Hopefully he will. Sounds like he's at the stage (I have been there) where he's convinced no one and nothing can help--yet, you got him on the plane (he might forget how that happened or consider it an act of God never to be repeated), and he lived through it (ditto), so somewhere a li'l window opened for a time.

And he did his best, too. :tiphat This fear is like having a ball and chain on both ankles and a black screen ahead of us representing our future. Any act of courage is a step forward. And it takes courage to see and believe that.

[Passenger Mark]

Ray,

Great deed!

For all of us FOFers

Thanks!

Mark