Death: The Final Landing....or Takeoff?

[IWishIHadAParachute]

Deep question, I know.

We'll get back to that.
Here's the thing...I need help.
So much has been posted on the fear of flying, and tips, and information, that it is difficult to ask for specific help regarding myself.

Unfortunately, I've found myself in a position to do so. :confused:

This is my story:

When I was younger (1-8 years old [I'm 15 now]), flying was not an issue for me. By the time I was 4 years old, I had been to China, Egypt, Japan, Israel, several European countries, and countless states throughout the US. So, I was a flyer by nature. The sole purpose of these trips was vacation, with some education. I love to travel, and still do, but something has developed which seriously hinders this passion of mine.:sigh:
I am deathly afraid of turbulence.
Deeper than that however, it is death I fear the most. This is the root of all fears for me, as it is for many other people.
Maybe when I was younger I didn't realize the worth of a mortal life, and it's delicacy. Maybe now I have a better understand of my future, and what I want to accomplish in life.

Either way, I don't want to die.
But how can you live without risk?
I hear the statistics, about how safe flying is, but that doesn't make it any more comfortable in the moment.

I discovered this website two days. I was in Aspen, with a 15knot tailwind. This prevented planes from taking off for about a half hour. The Aspen airport is so incredibly small, it is ridiculous. More people came in, and no one was coming out. They had to get planes out of there. So they took 28 passengers on a plane to Salt Lake City. My family and I were on that flight. Not only did they limit the original population of the flight by more than half, but they didn't allow any luggage on either. As someone afraid of flying, I was already becoming panicked. I didn't like what I was hearing, and the situation I was being put into.

Needless, to say, when the heavy turbulence began seconds after takeoff...I was not alright.
It didn't get better for a little while. I was almost in tears. I was sweating, and scared for my life. It was awful. It smoothed out for a little while, and then we began our descent into Salt Lake. Lucky me, a storm was coming in just as we moved into the clouds. We were in the tremendously turbulent clouds for what seemed like forever. After leaving the clouds, and coming closer to the ground, it did not get better! :cry:It was the worst I've felt in a long time. I've never been so sure of my death, and so scared. At this point, I'm almost yelling at my mother for killing us, and I'm almost screaming that we are all dead. I was certainly not making anyone feel more comfortable. I started talking to the turbulence, saying things like "You can't do this to me! How dare you!" (In my head of course...and that was somewhat calming..I guess.)

Upon landing (safely), I immediately needed to find releif and information on the internet. I needed to be calmed. That was a 45 minute flight...I still had a 6 hour one ahead. :shocked:

So, I found you guys, did some reading, and surprisingly, was smiling at the notion of turbulence on the next flight. The storm came into Salt Lake, and we were already on the plane. We had to get de-iced. I was starting the sense the familiar feelings of nervousness at this point.

Anyway (This post is longer than I expected), we got into the air, and turbulence returned. I got scared again! Not to the point I was at on the last flight, but still, I was nervous! I understand turbulence can't do anything to me, and all the facts, but I was still scared. I don't want to travel anymore.

Anyway, when I got home, I decided I had to cure this disease. I took someone's advice and went to YouTube, to find videos to get me more informed about flying and turbulence.

Now I am more scared!!
There are like hundreds of videos of planes crashing, severe turbulence, and emergency landings.

Some of those turbulence videos were gut wrenching to watch. I didn't even know turbulence could be that bad! Now I'm MORE SCARED! :(

Is there something I can do? Death is scary, and even deeper, the unknown is what is scary. If I knew there was a heaven or something, I would not mind turbulence so much. But the unknown scares me like nothing else.

What can I do?
---

I hear people say turbulence on a plane is similar to turbulence on a boat. However, a boat is on water, and I know I won't be falling and crashing. A plane doesn't seem to be ON anything, and could easily fall out of the sky.

[Lynda]

Hi,

Welcome to taking flight:) I hope that you find some help and comfort here.
Let me tell you something that you perhaps already know.
Turbulence is a comfort issue not a danger. Nothing will happen to the plane it is just uncomfortable for the passenger.
I once heard a pilot say that the worst thing to him about turbulence was his coffee spilling on him! Now these pilot's have family's they want to return safely to, they are not going to risk not getting home to them.

I hate turbulence but each time it happens I keep saying to myself turbulence is a comfort issue it will not harm the plane!! I say this to myself often during turbulence.
Make sure you fasten your safety belt and all will be ok.

I read one article that said to put some loud music on your ipod and bounce with the turbulence, you may get some funny looks but apparently you don't feel the turbulence:)

[Passenger Mark]

Hello!

And a big welcome from me as well! :wave:

First, my compliment to you, as you have experienced so much at such a young age!

You mentioned that death is the root of all fears for you. That indicates that you may have a general anxiety issue as well as Fear of Flying. I am not a Doctor, and if you have anxiety in other areas of your life, I would suggest that you speak with your regular Doctor about this. They may be able to refer you to a specialist to help you in this area.

Additionally, since you are 15, I would definitely speak to your parents about this. They need to know. Also advise them that you are posting here, and share with them information here. Allow them to browse the site.

As for turbulence... as you have read here, turbulence is not a problem for the aircraft, no more than currents are a problem for a boat. It is all the same (water and air currents) just a different type of fluid.

Regardless of how turbulent the flight was from SLC, you made a safe landing, as did thousands of others that day. The airline has a tremendous investment in you, their crews, and their aircraft. They do not "wager" that investment. If there is a danger, they don't go.

Watching aircraft accident videos, movies, and documentary is very harmful to Fearful Flyers. These types of medias are done because aircraft accidents are so rare, that the occurrence of one makes it interesting. I suggest that you look at some of the videos here, that are made by members here. These videos are not very exciting, but it does show that flying is normal.

Once again.... Welcome Aboard!

[aerobat]

Hello, IWIHAP!

Let me ask you whether this fear of turbulence, and of death on an airplane, has hit you suddenly with no precursors on other flights, or whether it has been smoldering or steadily getting more noticeable the more you fly.

With all the traveling you've done, you have surely got a backlog of experiences with turbulence, although perhaps not anything quite as rough as what you've just been through. Still, it's all the same thing--a mix of currents of fluid (air) caused by wind, rough terrain, and updrafts and downdrafts.

Aspen is a mountain airport at high altitude, and even though it has a 7000' runway, the surrounding terrain mandates preferred takeoff and landing directions. In order for these procedures to be done safely (both in terms of terrain clearance and separation of departing and arriving aircraft), there is a cutoff point for the tailwind component. That in turn is affected by total weight of the plane, so if they are going to take off with a strong tailwind, they have to reduce total weight. Therefore they reduced the number of passengers and left luggage behind. It does not sound to me like they made/had time to explain all these things to the passengers.

I can well imagine how all this could be frightening for someone who is already a little nervous and who doesn't understand what's going on. The imagination can run amok. And on top of that you got a big dose of strong turbulence.

I agree that you should talk this over with your parents if you have decent rapport with them. After all, they were right there with you, and they are seasoned travelers. But it may be the case that you need more than just talk and reassurance to get you over this. You would do well to get up to speed on the physiology (in lay terms) of what has happened to you: you have become sensitized to turbulence (and to a constellation of things about flying including the decisions pilots make). So simply knowing that turb is generally not a safety issue is probably not enough. You need to understand that your adrenaline spigot has now been wired to turbulence and to other aspects of flying. It's pure neurochemistry; you need to get your hand on that spigot, which requires something more than intellectual knowledge.

I would strongly recommend that you get your parents to visit this site and even post here of they wish, for starters. And I would also suggest that they find you a top-notch anxiety specialist who works with the fear of flying. There's absolutely no shame in this and the "repairs" can happen very,very fast, especially if your fear has just suddenly developed. It will require some flying, but hey...you have done plenty of that already. You just need to reclaim your right to be comfortable up there. That right is still yours.


Barb :)

[IWishIHadAParachute]

"Let me ask you whether this fear of turbulence, and of death on an airplane, has hit you suddenly with no precursors on other flights, or whether it has been smoldering or steadily getting more noticeable the more you fly."

I guess it developed over a short period of time, a couple years ago.

" I agree that you should talk this over with your parents if you have decent rapport with them."

I value of independence, and they are well aware of my issue, and try their best to keep me comfortable and calm. Quite frankly, talking with them about this, or asking them to come to the forums, or even telling them I am here, would not accomplish anything.

"It's pure neurochemistry; you need to get your hand on that spigot, which requires something more than intellectual knowledge. And I would also suggest that they find you a top-notch anxiety specialist who works with the fear of flying. There's absolutely no shame in this and the "repairs" can happen very,very fast, especially if your fear has just suddenly developed. "

Specialists and therapists, although I personally have no problem with the terms, are negatively viewed in our culture. These professions deal with people with "problems." While this indeed may be a "problem" I would hate to be labeled such a person.

Besides, my parents make the travel plans, with little regard to fear of flying. I'm glad they do not let me give in to this fear. Never the less, because this fear does not hinder any travel plans, I do not see how I could convince them to spend money on a specialist. I have a good amount of time before I fly anywhere myself, and this fear is not great enough to actually stop be from taking an important trip.

That said, I do want this cleared up, but I have to do it myself.

[Captain Hutch]

Dear "I wish"

Hang in there--I think you are on the right track getting on this website. I wish that your parents could get on here too, I think that they would learn quite a bit. I can't tell you how much I have learned myself since I joined this website myself sometime last year. It has been an unbelievable education for me. I think the Introductory Letter to the Pilot is a great idea--it would open up more pilot's eyes to a small but significant part of the flying public.

You are welcome here anytime!

Hutch :tiphat:

[aerobat]

Okeydoke, Parachute, :)

I did say "if you have decent rapport..."
So it sounds like your folks are supportive in the way that most people who know nothing about FoF try to be supportive, and kudos to you for crediting them with that, in that they are not letting you bail. But they could do so much more if they knew what this was about.

It's your decision, of course.

But I also want to call to your attention this statement of yours:

I understand turbulence can't do anything to me, and all the facts, but I was still scared. I don't want to travel anymore.(bold mine)

It is well-known that the fear of flying tends to get worse with repeated exposure unless some sort of intervention takes place. For some people--and hopefully you are one of them--simply coming to a forum like this one starts that process of outfoxing the fear. Surprisingly, some of that outfoxing happens subconsciously--that is, we don't realize the effect of finding community and gathering info about anxiety and aerodynamics, about pilots and the airline industry--until we get on the plane the next time and perceive that something has changed: not only do we feel better, but those "better feelings" come with new insights attached. So, again I hope that all of this is happening for you both consciously and subconsciously. You can push that along by posting often, asking questions, sharing insights. The resources you need are here in many forms. The letter to introduce you to the pilots is one; the many links to info about anxiety is another (and those sites have the trickery we need if only we practice it); all the aviation links and videos are another. Captain Hutch is another--a captain with a major airline with twenty thousand-plus hours of experience who is willing to help you tackle those worries one by one. And we have the testimonies of dozens of people who went from being afraid to being confident, who have absolutely interrupted that march-of-the-fear-from-bad-to-worse and turned it around.

So...soak it all up. You are bright, articulate and most importantly, courageous and determined. Stay with us, ask questions, and commit some chunk of every day to working on the fear issues. Don't just table it (as some people do) until you have a flight coming up. The very fact of making a commitment changes our relationship to our fear--empowering us and disempowering it. :nod: