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bearthehair
02-26-2008, 03:00 AM
Hi Everyone,

I just recently join the forum and have been reading a lot of posts. I am glad to see I am not alone… of course I knew I wasn’t, but it was so great to see people talking about it! I wanted to give you a summary of my fears… I guess I will start at the beginning.


1st Flight – November 2006. I went with two colleagues to Chicago. I was nervous leading up to the flight, simply because I had no idea what flying was like. Once I got on the plane, even before take-off, I was perfectly relaxed

2nd Flight – July 2007. I went to Florida with a colleague for trade show. Never even was nervous. Flew JetBlue, loved it.

3rd Flight – September 2007. Flew to NC with colleague. Never worried.

4th Flight – November 2007. Flew to Florida with colleague. Never worried (except that we wouldn’t have time to park at Reagan! Haha :D )

5th Flight – November 2007. Thanksgiving, flying to NC to visit family by myself. I totally panicked. The flight was only 45 minutes, and honestly it might have been the worst 45 minutes of my life. Felt claustrophobic beyond description, scared in general… not of the plane or flying, I just felt terrified and I don’t know why. I was fine driving to the airport. It was when I was waiting I started getting nervous. I still don’t know how I got on the plane and survived emotionally. On the return flight, I sat next to the nicest Southwest mechanic and we chatted the whole time. I was essentially not nervous once we started chatted. I was doing well then, but still had some “fear of the fear” going on. But I managed very well.

6th Flight – November 2007. Flew to Chicago with a colleague again. A little nervous that’d I’d freak like last time. Nothing happened, but I kind of felt like I was watching over my shoulder for a panic attack, but it didn’t happen.

7th Flight – December 2007. Florida alone to meet up with colleague. I was worried for a few days before, and on the way to the airport. A sort of “I have a big exam coming up” feeling, but not panic. I got to the airport though, and while I was at the gate I started worrying a lot. I panicked. I actually boarded, and started having a terrible panic attack, even more so… I honestly felt like I was going to explode. At the last moment I got off the plane. I was so embarrassed and ashamed of myself. I am still.

As you can see, the big problems were flying alone. I think when I am with friends or colleagues, I am distracted enough to not feel the way I do. My problems are claustrophobia and having no control.

I felt so trapped on the planes during my panic attacks, as if I was sealed in a jar. I didn’t feel like I was going to run out of air like some people feel… I just felt so trapped!! I’m even jittery typing this part.

Having no control was also a problem to some extent (80% claustrophobia / 20% control). I completely trust the pilots and crews; I just don’t like being helpless.

Ironically, the idea of actually flying (being in air, turbulence, etc) does not scare me at all. Sure I don’t like turbulence, but it happens and I’m OK with it.

I do have a social anxiety problem which is treated with Paxil. It actually helps me a lot in everyday life. But I couldn’t help but feeling anxious on the plane about the claustrophobia and being surrounded by people and equipment.

Since the incidents, I have did talk to my psychiatrist. He gave me a prescription for Xanax 0.5mg. I haven’t tried flying with it yet, though I have taken one on a quiet evening to make sure I don’t have any reactions. I guess we will see what happens when I have to fly next.

That brings me to the big issue… what to do when I have to fly next. Right now, I honestly start getting nervous when I really think about the idea of flying. I feel as if I could barely do it with my peers, and certainly couldn’t fly by myself. I certainly have the claustrophobic and control fears still, but now I have the dreaded “fear of the fear” about panic attacks. I feel lost.

I am really frustrated with myself and my situation. The first four times I was completely fine, and since then this has come about. I will certainly have to fly again, but I feel as if I can’t do it. That is the wrong attitude to have… but I feel as if I can’t help but feel that way.

I ask if you have a moment to post any encouraging words or thoughts, ideas, etc. It would be most appreciated… I want to beat this!!

Will

MathFox
02-26-2008, 09:29 AM
First :welcome2: and I am sure that other members can expand on my advice.

You don't seem to be worried by flying as such... You made a few good flights with your colleagues, yet things go bad when you fly alone. What is the difference, my guess would be "distraction". Having company on a flight means you have someone to chat with; someone who points at the scenic spots outside the window, asks about your opinion on the best football team :D, etc. In short, your company forces your mind into "Sociable Will" mode.

Distraction is important; keeping your mind occupied with something pleasant prevents it from panicking. At the airport I like to watch how the people on the apron load and unload the planes... In the plane I take a window seat so I can watch the scenery outside. Solving puzzles is a great way of keeping your mind busy... I bring a book of Sudokus and a pencil with me (can also be used during take off and landing), a portable computer game will help you through a lot of waiting time on the ground (either at the gate or on the plane.) Find something that can totally immerse you.
And there is the "for your comfort" section. Make a plane ride a treat with your favourite music on your mp3 player, bring a bag of your favourite snacks, etc.

Passenger Mark
02-26-2008, 06:39 PM
Howdy... and a big welcome from me also!

You have the fear of fear!

Not... the "what if" the plane fails, but the "what if" I panic again.

You don't want to go through that nightmare again. That is understandable, but you have to realize that whatever caused that incident in November 2007, was most likely something going on in your life, perhaps the purpose of the flight.

I like your analogy of "worrying about a big test". That is exactly what it is like. So what I would do is plan something extra special for after the flight. Maybe plan on purchasing something for yourself when you return home, a dinner at your favorite restaurant, anything. You can focus on that special event after the flight, and not on the flight, or the "what ifs".

Again... Welcome Aboard!

AZ_to_AU
02-26-2008, 06:48 PM
Howdy... and a big welcome from me also!

You have the fear of fear!

Not... the "what if" the plane fails, but the "what if" I panic again.

Agree'd.... you associated your panic attack with flying... now it's time to disassociate it. ;)

PositiveAgain
02-27-2008, 01:25 AM
Hi Will -

Glad you came here. Boy oh boy can I ever relate to you. I have been dealing with varying degrees of panic disorder for over 25 years now. The only place I have to deal with panic now is when I fly, but there was a time in my life that I feel I could have become agoraphobic. I wish that I could tell you that each time you fly you will get better and better... that it works in a linear fashion like that, but quite honestly I have some flights that are good and some that are not so good. There is no rhyme or reason or so it seems. The only difference between you and me is that I have never gotten off of a plane before take off (or after take off for that matter :lol:). You know those feelings you were having that caused you to actually get off of the plane? Well I have had those same EXACT feelings, but stayed on the plane anyway, and I've suffered during those flights. The reason I did stay was because I kept saying to myself, "if you give in to this monster it will only get worse".

There is so much hope for you though. This is a relatively new experience for you so you can keep working on getting better and "unconditioning" yourself.

Let me share what has worked for me.

1) A hypnosis cd from Glenn Harrold called Overcome Your Fear of Flying. You can get it on Amazon or the last I checked you can get it on iTunes if you have an iPod. I listen faithfully every night for at least 2 weeks before I fly and bring it with me and listen every night while I'm away... got to prepare for the flight home!

2) I take 1 Ativan an hour before I fly. Ativan works better for me than Xanax. Helps take the edge off for me.

3) I have learned to think about and focus on proper breathing techniques. Most everyone that suffers from panic disorder does not breathe properly. Do you know how to properly breathe through your diaphragm?

You mentioned that you see a psychiatrist and you have been diagnosed with a social anxiety disorder. I am not surprised to hear that you are dealing with this Fear of Flying issue also. Anxiety issues tend to float around into different areas.