nervous flyer with questions

[momtotot]

Hi everyone,
I visit this site almost every day and enjoy reading your messages. Does anyone have thoughts like I do before a flight like "this may be the last time I ever do this?" Whether it be walking the dog, going to church, etc. And I feel like I am trying to get things wrapped up in case I don't ever come back. These morbid thoughts keep me from looking forward to trips and enjoying the days and weeks before a flight....my next flight is Tue.
Any encouragement would be appreciated :)
Sue

[photomonkey0]

Hey there MTT,

Definitely sounds familiar to me. You touched on something here that I commented on when I first said hi here on the site. Take a look at p197.ezboard.com/ffearoff...=428.topic (http://p197.ezboard.com/ffearofflying16582frm2.showMessage?topicID=428.top ic) and see just how not alone you are!!! :cheers

[beaugest]

Sue, absolutely. I think if you read the other post that photomonkey mentioned you'll see other folks can relate.
I would also recommend rereading some of the posts on anticipatory anxiety.
I think if you start implementing some of the suggestions it may not make the anxiety go away but at least it will give you some relief from it.
Last week I started going into my what-ifs about a long flight I have coming up in Dec. There was no way I was going to start making myself crazy about it now. So, I jumped on the board here to post about it, started reading some posts, calmed down and didn't even need to post(at that point). I think it just really helped me to get on here and remember to look at flying with a different perspective. In therapy it's sometimes referred to as "turning the channel." You have pictures of all these disasters running in your head. "Turn the channel" and replace those pictures with positive ones. Deb mentioned one of my favorite replacements. I picture getting off the plane with a smile on my face rather than picturing getting on the plane(kicking and screaming).
When you picture yourself like this :cry turn the channel to this:sunshine :happyguy :lol Monica

[Passenger Mark]

Hi There Mom!!!!

What you speak of is very common among FOFers.

I to would have these thoughts. I would leave my office and head to the airport thinking that is the last time I would see it.

I would put the pets in the kennel before a trip, thinking... "I hope someone comes and picks them up.

Of course I did see my office again, and did pick up my pets.

I metioned this on another thread, but one of the things that I would do to help with this "I'm doomed" thing was to have something planned beyond the flight. Make a point to schedule something special to do after you return from your flights.

Don't ask me why, but it seems to help.

Take care,

Mark

[momtotot]

Thanks for the quick replies and for directing me to that one thread. I enjoyed reading through it and find it interesting (and comforting) that we have had similar thoughts before flights. I know my problems deal with control as well. My main concerns have to do with all the people that have access to the plane.......not just the mechanics, but the cleaning crew and baggage handlers who could put an explosive device on board. That's what I worry about and my understanding is that this is an area that is actually not that secure. Does anyone have any insight into this?
Thanks again for all your help.
Sue

[beaugest]

Sue, I'm going to do my PR thing again. I think Ray's book was really helpful for me in terms of understanding things from the technical part. This is a good question to ask on his part of the Board too. I have really learned a lot about how thorough the system for safety is with these planes. What I keep in mind is that these pilots have families they want to get home to(or possibly flying on these planes with us). They are not going to take off unless they are assured that they are in a safe environment. I think it's great that you are asking these questions. Getting answers to things I only worried about before has really helped me.
I'm sure the pilots on this board will be very reassuring in their responses.

[WillFlyToDisney2]

Yep! I always walk thru my house before I leave to go on the road and look at everything "one last time" - sounds weird but I think at this point it is more of a habit than an actual part of the fear.

I always come home and see my house again. :)

Kelley