Here's what cured me...

[zzz28]

This advice was posted on a now defunct fof website as a comment to an irrational question of mine. I could read air safety statistics forever but the fact is that planes still do crash. This is what someone told me:

Nobody gets to choose when and how they they will die (with the exception of suicide). You may think that you have absolute control over your life but you don't. People don't choose to die in car crashes, or of cancer, or by being hit by a bus. So while you may think you're not in control and going to die while in a plane, the truth is you are no more in control when you're on the ground. You could just as well die while not in a plane that day (in fact that's probably statistically more likely).

I'm sorry if that sounds extremely morbid, it took me about 6 months to accept it and come to terms with the fact, but once I did it helped me not only with my fear of flying but other areas of my life.

I'm off on a long haul flight in 10 days and normally I'd be having daily panic attacks at this stage and scouring the fof forums, but I really do feel fine, so I thought I'd share my tip.

[scottr0829]

Welcome to TF zzz28! :welcome2:

Thanks for sharing your tip. We always love having new people around and fellow members all letting us know what helped them and how they are working on their fof.

Your comment is something we tend to talk a lot about here when it comes to the people that fear the lack of control. It was also one of my biggest hesitations with flying (that I was not in control). Statistically, you are more likely to die driving to and from the airport that die in an airplane. People think they have so much control over other things, but that is a false reality. You have no control over anything or anyone outside your body. This extends to driving and you have no control about what other people do (how many times a day does someone cut you off or cut it a little close?). Also, as I think Passenger Mark said yesterday, do you do a full check of all the major systems when you drive, check air pressure in your tires, oil level, etc...? They do for airplanes before every flight.

Glad to see you here and welcome aboard. Please keep us updated of your work and feel free to jump in whenever you have something to contribute - us admins/mods always enjoy it when other people participate!

Scott :nerd:

[PositiveAgain]

Your comment is something we tend to talk a lot about here when it comes to the people that fear the lack of control.


Is there such a thing as a person with a FoF issue that doesn't fear lack of control?

I am in the minority here in terms of my FoF not being about a fear of crashing, or turbulence, or trusting the pilots etc. but I fear "going crazy" on a plane, having panic attacks, being stuck, not being able to leave the plane when I want to...

The bottom line is that ALL roads lead back to a fear of lack of control and it sucks! :) Humans, by nature, are control freaks aren't we?

[NicwantstoFly]

Word! Great advice. I agree whole heartedly. Positive Agian I agree too. Control, control... that's all we want. I get the feeling that getting over FoF is all about acceptance. This plane is high, not that spacious, and I will be sitting here 6 1/2 hours. I will probably worry and feel antsy, but it's allllll good.

OMG hope I can remember that and take my own advice.

Fear sucks. Darn you survival instincts!

[Sharlene]

Can anyone help overcome this problem. When I am on a plane I feel that if I worry for the whole flight then nothing will happen as I am keeping my guard up but if I did happen to sit back and enjoy the flight then that means I am letting my guard down and something will happen. Its a bit like someone telling you "I told you so" Funny how normal sane people become idiots when flying. My family just laugh at me and can't understand how scared I get, my husband does not drink but when flying beside me always has a few scotches to get him through the flight. Plus I don't like entering into conversations on a plane as it takes me away from my train of thought of crashing. Is anyone else out there as crazy as I am when flying?

[bellevueace]

When your up there theres really no point worrying because either way theres nothing you can do about anything. Instead of concentrating on the negative of crashing why not concentrate on the positives like what your going to do at your destination, let the crew worry about the aircraft they get paid for it, and they also have great skill in dealing with anything that should crop up. Im the same always concentrating on the negative aspects and you know the only thing that creates our fears is ourself. Ive researched aircraft and asked questions about my fears, the answers ive recieved have proved to me the worry really is unfounded, the worry is still there but im now determined to concentrate in a positive manner, so when you fly again remember the safety records of the industry, the back up systems on aircraft, the skill of the crew, get annoyed with the fear and be determined to beat it down. Its not easy but thats what im going to do, then when youve had one good flight just relate to that on your next to ease any returning doubts.