Pre-Taking a Trip

[Rebecca]

Some of our fears to do with "control" are related, I think, to the whole idea of having to get everything pinned down before we leave. But by doing so, we actually miss so much of what a journey has in store for us. We can miss the small moments, the serendipitous ones, when we are on the oiled track of an uber-controlled "vacation."

I am learning not to over-plan, over-reserve, over-research, and over-control every trip I take. I am seriously considering not even glancing at the internet before our next trip.

The internet is not complete. It often completely overlooks many high-ambience second-tier hotels and cottages that actually have personality. But no ... you believed the internet when it said all the hotels were full except the badly-located generic one you are now stuck in, complete with a view of the freeway. But upon exploring, you see "Vacancy" signs on many happier-looking places. And almost always there are nearby towns where there are plenty of vacancies, even if the town you're in really is booked up.

The internet is often out of date. New restaurants and places to stay come and go all the time. If you arrive and explore, you will have more of an adventure. I remember leading my family around for the better part of an hour in Honolulu, looking for one of the restaurants in my sheaf of printouts. We never did find it.

Two wonderful quotes:

"We always have a plan, or a least a to-do list; we like to know that everything has been anticipated, that our lives are, in a sense, pre-lived."
--Barbara Ehrenreich, Nickel and Dimed

"Once a journey is designed, equipped, and put in process, a new factor enters and takes over. A trip, a safari, an exploration, is an entity, different from all other journeys. It has personality, temperament, individuality, uniqueness. A journey is a person in itself; no two are alike. And all plans, safeguards, policing, and coercion are fruitless. We find after years of struggle that we do not take a trip; a trip takes us. In this a journey is like a marriage. The certain way to be wrong is to think you control it."
--John Steinbeck, Travels With Charley

[scottr0829]

Some of our fears to do with "control" are related, I think, to the whole idea of having to get everything pinned down before we leave. But by doing so, we actually miss so much of what a journey has in store for us. We can miss the small moments, the serendipitous ones, when we are on the oiled track of an uber-controlled "vacation."

I am learning not to over-plan, over-reserve, over-research, and over-control every trip I take. I am seriously considering not even glancing at the internet before our next trip.

Great ideas - let us know how it goes. I wonder if, for some people, the fear of flying is related to all the planning that went into their trip. If the flight is delayed or there are other problems with the flight, it would throw off their schedule, so their flight makes them more anxious because IT MUST be on time.


The internet is not complete. It often completely overlooks many high-ambience second-tier hotels and cottages that actually have personality. But no ... you believed the internet when it said all the hotels were full except the badly-located generic one you are now stuck in, complete with a view of the freeway. But upon exploring, you see "Vacancy" signs on many happier-looking places. And almost always there are nearby towns where there are plenty of vacancies, even if the town you're in really is booked up.

The internet is often out of date. New restaurants and places to stay come and go all the time. If you arrive and explore, you will have more of an adventure. I remember leading my family around for the better part of an hour in Honolulu, looking for one of the restaurants in my sheaf of printouts. We never did find it.

I'd like to add one more to that - The Internet is often biased. Many sites act as a 'pay for placement' and/or advertising site. Even though it is usually not obvious, many times, sites that list things out with prices, usually charge someone for that placement. Take things said on sites like this with a grain of salt - they are making a commission on every package sold so they have to make it sound perfect.

[kari]

Great ideas - let us know how it goes. I wonder if, for some people, the fear of flying is related to all the planning that went into their trip. If the flight is delayed or there are other problems with the flight, it would throw off their schedule, so their flight makes them more anxious because IT MUST be on time.


Good point. I'll get nervous if:

1) There are connections involved
2) I'm going somewhere I've never been before or
3) I'm doing something otherwise daft.

And before I actually board the plane I'll sometimes decide that maybe I'm scared of flying, maybe I don't like flying, maybe it's flying that makes me feel like this. Maybe I don't want to go anymore. But once I actually board the plane I'm fine.

Only 10% is what you think you're upset about.

[aerobat]

Someone said "flying is a stand-in for all the other fears we have in life". I will have to track that source down.

It was certainly true for me at the time my FoF developed, and it is the reason it's so important that we get all our "stuff" together with time to spare and get to the airport early--and lay off the caffeine.

I realize this may seem to contradict the notion that "all plans, safeguards, policing and coercion are fruitless".:) Perhaps the best compromise for people with FoF is to meticulously plan the flight portion, but do no booking ahead otherwise. Land, grab a shuttle bus into town or hitch a ride into the outback (uh, take some food), and let the adventure take over from then on...:lol:.

For many years all my travels were like this (minus flying :sigh:)...and I rarely had regrets. Even when there were regrets, there were still entertaining tales to tell.

Barb