Mapping our Collective Experiences of Recovery

[aerobat]

I had considered calling this thread 'How We Won the Mobility Lottery' after that great phrase Mark Kahanek suggested in Hoosier's thread. But I think that would be better as a subtitle. In fact, I'd like for us to suggest a number of subtitles as subject lines for our posts. When we get done we can name the map after the geography we discover together.

I would like to kick this thread off with submissions from our old-timers, especially. :) By that, I mean members who have put their fear of flying behind them, and who have been happy air travelers over months or years, with enough flights under their belts to be confident and stable in their recovery. Many "old timers" have chosen to stay with Taking Flight as regular or occasional contributors because we have thought a great deal about the paths we took to break through our fear, and we want to share our insights and our good fortune with others.

It really is a remarkable thing to be able to do for people we have never met.

Please accept this as an invitation to join your fellow mapmakers in a collaboration. No one has the whole map--not even the experts. But we all have pieces of it.

Your post need not be a chronological narrative, but if that's how you want to present it, please do so. If you want to list the techniques, knowledge, and insights which changed the way you feel about flying, you can do that. Say it however you choose! If you are a newbie to the other side of the wall, your story and your insights are welcome also.

After we have some contributions--many, I hope, I would like to see a lively discussion among contributors about each other's ideas and insights. :)

Barb

[LeslieDEN]

I've thought about this thread for a while and had a difficult time responding. I started a couple of responses -- too long! Too much detail! Shut up, Les! But OK, here goes, one more try.

My fear of flying got ratcheted up when I started having to fly a lot for work, so I sought help. I did the SOAR course. I realize different things work for different people, and even within that course, different individuals find different elements more and less effective for them.

What did it for me was the line "No one suffers from what goes on in a plane. People suffer only from what they add to the experience or try to subtract." That was my big takeaway from the course. It summed up everything for me, and it's what helped me make my way from fearful to formerly fearful. Of couse there were vital exercises -- the physical and psychological tricks and tools that helped the realization sink in and take hold. But it was that line that brought everything together.

An example of adding to the experience would be seeing or hearing something that doesn't "seem right" and interpreting it in the worst way possible. ("Why is the first officer heading toward the back of the plane? Is there something wrong back there? There's something wrong back there! We're doomed!") In my bad ol' days, the awful interpretation would become reality for me. I've learned that that's a trick of my brain, and now I trick it right back.

Trying to subtract would be, say, fighting turbulence. Resisting it and physically tightening up against it. In my bad ol' days, I thought, "Even if this weren't scary, it feels terrible! It's violent, it's an assault!" Well, no, it's not. It's not painful and can actually be kind of pleasant and even fun, if you're up for that. But it's definitely there, and trying to resist it or pretend it's not makes it feel worse and does lead to suffering.

This is a wimpy start, but it's the roadmark on the metaphorical map that got me headed in the right direction. :)

Anybody else????

[Invert]

I have been wanting to add my response for a while as well, but haven't found the time to do it properly.

This will serve as my "place holder". I will have a lot of time during my upcoming flights to think about my response...and what better place to do it than on a plane?:rolleyes:

[aerobat]

Awrighty. :thumbsup:
Thanks for kicking this off, you two.

Les, I know you have a lot more to share, and that was a great start. That's a very powerful phrase; I like that. I too look at what we do as 'trickery'. The word points to the truth about our fear--a truth that we are blind to when we are at its mercy. All those years I was grounded, I never realized that my fear was a trick being pulled on me, and I needed to trick it back. :nod:

Chris, I know you'll have a nice chunk of map to post when you get back from Thailand...you lucky dawg. :cheers:

Who's next?

[jesgooch]

Stay tuned for my story as well...

Things here are a little hectic at the moment (that is a different long story)...But I promise to come back at some point and tell mine.

[StPeteMark]

My on-going post under Flight Log gives details and a good description how this "Old-Timer" got back into the air. :)

http://www.takingflight.us/forums/showthread.php?t=3990

Flying has changed my life in a wonderful way and I'm extremely grateful to those who helped me expand my horizons! :tiphat:
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