Hoosier!!!

[aerobat]

We haven't heard from you in a while. You have a cheering section here on the board, and we all hope you are doing fine as you get ready to fly later today.

Yep, it's a big step.:)
But not so big as a week ago.
And once you are on the plane, with the Decision behind you,
it will just get easier. And easier.
If you have any last-minute meltdowns going on, share them!
It'll be OK.
That's a promise.:nod:

Pop us a message from LAS after you land.
Tell your son thanks from all of us for being your good flying buddy.
Have a fantastic trip! :thumbsup:

Barb

[Hoosier]

Hello Barb,

You are a day early but thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement.

I am still doing fairly well. I did wake up this morning around 5 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. The occasional is this my last full day alive thoughts, etc but nothing real gut wrenching. As I said before, this is by far now the closest I have come to actually doing it since my last flight in 85.

Any advice on how to board, etc? I think I have read somewhere that I am supposed to go online at the 24 hour mark before my flight and print something?

Forgot to call my Dr. on Friday also. May have to go on liquid courage, lol!!

[Lynda]

Hoosier,

You are doing great, you are going to be so proud of yourself once you have done this.
Just remember that the anticipatory anxiety is so much worse than the flight. You may find that you actually enjoy the flight and it will be a relief to get on the plane after so much worrying.
I know once I get to the airport and I check in I want to get on that plane as soon as possible.

Lynda:)

[Barb-SAN]

Any advice on how to board, etc? I think I have read somewhere that I am supposed to go online at the 24 hour mark before my flight and print something?

Forgot to call my Dr. on Friday also. May have to go on liquid courage, lol!!

If you are flying SWA, you want to go online 24 hrs. ahead of your flight, and print your boarding pass, so that you get in the "A" group, which is the first group on the plane, and gives you best choice of seats. When I've flown SWA, I've made sure to be at the gate at least an hour ahead of the flight, and am usually at the front of the A line, even if it means sitting on the floor for awhile.

As I'm walking on the plane, I hand the Taking Flight Aid Letter (linked here: http://www.takingflight.us/index.php?ind=downloads&op=entry_view&iden=1 )to one of the FA's, ask him/her to give it to the pilots, say I'll be right back as soon as I grab a seat. I put my backpack in my preferred seat (window seat, near the front). Then I go back up to the FA's, who by that time have read the letter, and given it to one of the pilots. Then one of the pilots will either talk to me there in the galley, or invite me into the cockpit for a quick visit. At least that's the routine I've followed for several SWA flights.

The last flights I took on NWA, I felt so calm that it seemed silly to ask to meet the pilots...so contented myself with just checking them out with a quick look towards the cockpit as I got on the plane. :D

If you get to the SWA gate early enough, you could also talk to the gate agent, show the TF letter, explain that you haven't flown in 22 years, are a bit nervous, would like to meet the pilots. They may very well let you preboard even ahead of the A group, to give you plenty of time to get "settled" on the plane, and talk to the pilots. I'll bet your son would find it thrilling to also be able to visit the cockpit.

As far as "liquid courage"....remember that the effects of alcohol are increased at higher altitudes, and the cabin is pressurized to around 8,000 ft. I hope you will be able to use some of the breathing and relaxation exercises, and the work you've already done with your thoughts, to help keep you calm. Remember too that you are having a LIFE EXPERIENCE...there is something to be said for being "present" to actually experience it! ;) Perhaps writing in a journal would help to keep you focused in the present moment. It could also result in a great story to share here later, that will help other folks who are trying to overcome "groundedness". :thumbsup:

Have a great flight!!:tiphat:

[aerobat]

Hey, Hoosier!

You are a day early but thanks so much for your kind words and encouragement.

Oops. :blush: What time do you fly tomorrow? Can you post your itinerary both ways? Maybe our Expert Tracker ;) can be persuaded to track you.

I am still doing fairly well. I did wake up this morning around 5 AM and couldn't get back to sleep. The occasional is this my last full day alive thoughts, etc but nothing real gut wrenching. As I said before, this is by far now the closest I have come to actually doing it since my last flight in 85.

Hey, it's OK to have those blips of doom, so long as you are able to reduce their power and not let them push you to the high half of the anxiety scale. That is the nature of the beast at this stage--to pop out and try to scare you. You can use these little episodes as an opportunity to show yourself that you can handle the fear and the negative thoughts. :thumbsup:

Lynda is absolutely right about the anticipatory anxiety being the worst part. In your case, I believe that as soon as it's show time, you are going to find your fear has become excitement!! :tongue:

Any advice on how to board, etc? I think I have read somewhere that I am supposed to go online at the 24 hour mark before my flight and print something?

Here's the link:

http://www.southwest.com/

That's right! You can check in as early as 24 hours (to the minute) before your scheduled departure time and print out a boarding pass. That way you'll be in the A group, which will give you lots more choices on where to sit (get a window plus a middle for sure!!). If for any reason you can't print the pass, as long as you've checked in online, they can print the pass for you when you check your baggage at the ticket counter. I think you'd do well to get there a couple of hours early and just settle into the airport ambience...and be right at the head of the A line. Or better still, take the TF intro letter (did you print that out?) and talk with the gate agent about preboarding and meeting the pilots. The comfort of doing this--however weensily embarrassing it may seem to ask--is worth a million bucks.

Take a camera. Get a pic of yourself in the Captain's chair! :tongue: Not to mention lots of pix out the window. We love photos!


Forgot to call my Dr. on Friday also. May have to go on liquid courage, lol!!

Forgot, eh? I guess it just wasn't high enough priority. :lol: Okeydoke; that's a clue. Watch out for that liquid :cheers:courage stuff. It dulls the senses, and when you're on the plane you'll want to embrace the experience with eyes wide open. Seriously; you'll have made it that far, and soaking it all up with full awareness, handling any worries with your tools as they come up--this is the fast track to recovery.

We're rooting for you! :tiphat:

Barb

[Hoosier]

Ok, now I am starting to freak a little, actually a lot. I went to the Southwest site for online check in and it says I am not eligible for online check in. My son is but I am not. Now I am concerned about boarding and that we won't be able to sit together. It's not so much that I want him to hold my hand as it is I don't want to be freaking out next to a stranger.

Should I go ahead and check him in or just wait and get there early? All the calm the last few days is quickly changing.

[Barb-SAN]

Ok, now I am starting to freak a little, actually a lot. I went to the Southwest site for online check in and it says I am not eligible for online check in. My son is but I am not. Now I am concerned about boarding and that we won't be able to sit together. It's not so much that I want him to hold my hand as it is I don't want to be freaking out next to a stranger.

Should I go ahead and check him in or just wait and get there early? All the calm the last few days is quickly changing.

Definitely get your son checked in...he can be in the A group, be at the head of the line, and go grab those prime seats (window, just ahead of the wings). He can save you a seat...you know, just like at the movie theater, it's first come first serve, and you can save seats for traveling companions.

I don't know why you aren't eligible for online check in. Do you have any idea? Could you call the airlines and ask them?

[Barb-SAN]

Ha ha, Leslie...great minds...another simultaneous post! :lol: :thumbsup: Well, darn, she deleted it...but we said essentially the same thing.

[LeslieDEN]

Hee hee. I deleted mine after I saw that you'd said the same thing (only better).

[Barb-SAN]

Remember too, Hoosier, that if you are there very early, and talk to the gate agent about your fear of flying, that you may be able to PRE-BOARD (along with the folks in wheel chairs and parents with infants). That's even better than being in the A group! :D

[Hoosier]

Thanks Barb and Leslie,

I printed his and he got A. It has both of our names listed when you type in the confirmation number, but next to my name it says airport check in required. Maybe it's because I haven't flown in so long, I am not in the system. Who knows.....Not what I needed at all, I am back to the doom and gloom big time. Quitting my job doesn't seem like such a crazy idea at the moment.

[Barb-SAN]

Thanks Barb and Leslie,

I printed his and he got A. It has both of our names listed when you type in the confirmation number, but next to my name it says airport check in required. Maybe it's because I haven't flown in so long, I am not in the system. Who knows.....Not what I needed at all, I am back to the doom and gloom big time. Quitting my job doesn't seem like such a crazy idea at the moment.

Just call SWA and ask! I don't know the answer...and you could share it here and educate all of us. :thumbsup:

Contact Us

http://www.southwest.com/images/header_call.gif (http://www.southwest.com/about_swa/phone_numbers.html) We are here 24/7 for help with Reservations, Rapid Rewards Account Information, and General Questions.
1-800-I-FLY-SWA
(1-800-435-9792)

[Hoosier]

Ok Barb,

Can you tell I am the guy who won't stop and ask for directions, lol!!

I called Southwest, very helpful lady explained that the computer randomly assigns people for airport check in, not sure why but they can not override it. She said if I explain to the boarding agent that we are together, we should be able to board together.

I guess I will print the letter. I am very, very uncomfortable doing that. Not to go against everyones wisdom, but because I am a 40 something year old male who is afraid to show any weakness in public.

[Barb-SAN]

Ok Barb,

Can you tell I am the guy who won't stop and ask for directions, lol!!

I called Southwest, very helpful lady explained that the computer randomly assigns people for airport check in, not sure why but they can not override it. She said if I explain to the boarding agent that we are together, we should be able to board together.

I guess I will print the letter. I am very, very uncomfortable doing that. Not to go against everyones wisdom, but because I am a 40 something year old male who is afraid to show any weakness in public.

Hoosier, you are cracking me up! :lol: :lol: (because that "asking for directions" thing is SUCH a stereotype...). But don't you feel much better now...finding out that it was a random computer thingie??

Boarding together is good as long as you get to be an "A", and your son keeps his "A". If they suggested both being "C"'s...I'd stick with letting your son board first and save you a seat. And again, really TRY to do the preboarding if at all possible, so that you have time to visit with the pilots.

I do understand that "not showing weakness in public" thing, and culturally it is even harder for males than for females. I was really afraid I was going to start crying when I took my first flight after being grounded for 13 yrs. I was THAT nervous. I got to the airport 4 HOURS early...and sat in the waiting area with headphones on, listening to calming music. I did eventually get kinda bored, being there waiting around for such a long time. :D

One of the big advantages of taking along the Taking Flight Aid letter is that you don't have to fumble around trying to explain yourself. You just calmly hand over the letter to the gate agent, FA, or pilot, and ask them to read it. Then you can remain silent, and let the letter do all the explaining for you.

I think if you could somehow work on the idea of showing "strength" rather than "weakness", this might be a more helpful image to carry with you. You are overcoming something that has held you back for many years, and that takes a great deal of courage. The pilots also understand this, as they surely had experiences during their flight training and careers that required courage as well. Many of them are also former military pilots who have combat experience...so they know about acting in the face of their fears too.

I hope that you will look at meeting the pilots as an opportunity to meet some interesting people, and learn a bit more about what their job is all about. You know, focusing outward on conversation with them, and about the plane and the cockpit, rather than inward on your fears. That's what I've found happens to me...once I start talking with them, especially if I'm invited into the cockpit...I get completely absorbed in that activity, and forget about my worries.:thumbsup:

[Hoosier]

Ok, I am not sure if this is a classic phobic or the mind of a complete nutjob.....

I am poking around the Southwest website trying to make myself feel better. I wander over to the blog, which was just updated this weekend. Here is what I see...

Right at the top, is a caption the picture contest. The picture is a Southwest plane taking off in front of the hotel I am staying in. I know a similar photo was on this website.

The 2nd listing is an article written by a NASHVILLE customer service rep which is then promptly followed by a phobic article written by Capt. Ray.

So now, all the crazy it's a sign stuff is rattling around in my brain.......

[Barb-SAN]

So now, all the crazy it's a sign stuff is rattling around in my brain.......


Time to turn off the computer and go for a nice long run....and look for some pleasant "signs" in nature. :D

[Barb-SAN]

Well..O.K., now I'm sort of curious about what sort of a "sign" do you think all of those coincidences might be for you? Because I can certainly think of many different ways to interpret them. It depends on whether or not you are looking for an excuse to back out at the last minute, or a sign that the SWA plane will take you safely to your hotel, and you got a few extra tips from the Nashville customer service guy so that you don't lose your luggage.

I still like my previous advice, to turn off the computer, and go get some exercise...., clear your head.... :D

[Hoosier]

OK, I stepped away for awhile and I feel a little better.

You are so right, you can interpret them anyway you want to, positive reinforcement, negative, whatever you want to see there.

I was thinking back to stumbling on that marker of the plane crash site back in the early 90s and always feeling that was some sort of sign. You know, I have stumbled across the white crosses on the highway and don't take them as a sign of peril ahead.

A few years ago, I was walking around in downtown Richmond, IN. I came across a memorial commemorating many lives lost when a gas line exploded under a Main St store on a crowded Saturday back in the 60s. Very sad story, but I didn't stop walking around city streets thinking it was some sort of sign of my impending doom due to a sudden gas explosion.

I am rambling, but I am going through these crazy thoughts and forcing myself to look at similar situations I have experienced. I am realizing the ones associated with flying, I take as negative while I give little thought to the ones associated with everyday occurances such as walking around a city or driving down a highway.

Still pretty nervous and uptight tonight.......................................

[Rebecca]

Line everything up that you can, do what makes you feel comfortable and in control, and then let the trip unfold. That is what trips do.

You will have delightful surprises and some annoying ones. You might keep the letter in your bag or you might feel like giving it to the FA. Whatever you do will be okay, because you will be letting the trip be what it is ... a quality time with your son.

Do what you can, let the trip take over and go with its flow.

It's gonna be GREAT!!!!! :hyped: But you knew that. :)

[Barb-SAN]

Do what you can, let the trip take over and go with its flow.


Rebecca, That is VERY SAGE advice! And you are absolutely right. I've done road trips like that...with a general destination in mind, but no specific itinerary or hotel reservations. I've just been open to what experiences were out there, stopped to visit things that looked interesting, found a hotel at the end of the day. Those were the very best kind of trips...and they were all about experiencing The Present Moment. :D Lots of surprises too...I'd rather NOT know every single thing that will happen ahead of time (even if it were possible anyway!).

[Barb-SAN]

I am rambling, but I am going through these crazy thoughts and forcing myself to look at similar situations I have experienced. I am realizing the ones associated with flying, I take as negative while I give little thought to the ones associated with everyday occurances such as walking around a city or driving down a highway.

Still pretty nervous and uptight tonight.......................................

Well, at least you are giving those crazy thoughts a good run for their money, and wrestling them to the ground. I hope that writing them out here is also helping you to analyze them, and speak back to them. And, perhaps it would be interesting to print out this entire thread to take with you, and reflect on, and see how your thinking changes tomorrow while you are at the airport, and then on the plane, flying to Las Vegas. :thumbsup:

I hope you will keep writing down your thoughts, as I think it will prove to be a very valuable resource to you over time.

[aerobat]

Hi, Hoosier,

I apologize for being away when things started to get a bit freaky; I was at the airport, or rather flying out of it giving lessons all afternoon until 9, then running errands.

I do understand what you're feeling. These are things we often try to protect ourselves from by getting to the airport very early, packing carefully the day before, having everything done and in order for our trip, getting some rest, not being rushed or unprepared when unexpected hassles come up. But in this case you were randomly chosen for a bit of extra time at the ticket counter (and that's all it will be), and so you got a zap of fear that came from left field, and it caught you off-balance :(. More on that in a moment.

If you get there earlier than recommended, you'll likely still be in the A group. If not, then go for the strategy of having your son board with the As and save you a seat :thumbsup:. Even with 24-hr check-in, all that gets you is guaranteed A status; it doesn't move you to the front of that line. But getting there early will do it.

"Signs and omens" are the bane of this fear, because we can't shred them with logic alone. We have to see for ourselves--when they prove false--that they are bogus. That comes with a little practice, and with winning on other fronts. After a while we are able to dismiss these "omens", or better, laugh at them for the :pokefun: BS they are. So please try to have faith in your own words about them:

I am going through these crazy thoughts and forcing myself to look at similar situations I have experienced. I am realizing the ones associated with flying, I take as negative while I give little thought to the ones associated with everyday occurances such as walking around a city or driving down a highway.

You know this in your heart, so trust it. You've said it as well as any of us could.

I understand, too, why you are hesitant to display the TF intro letter and identify yourself as fearful. That's OK; just try to get good seats and sneak a peek into the cockpit, maybe say hello to the pilots and pick up some of their confidence and trustworthiness. It is hard to override great feelings of embarrassment. I think that after this flight, when you start seeing the world through washed windows :tongue:, you may find the structure of your shame and embarrassment shifting a bit. You will realize what a brave man you are for rising above this fear, and with your success will come a new understanding of 'courage under fire' and some well-deserved pride in yourself :hug:. I, too, never talked about my fear of flying until I was "at the gate", so to speak. After I punched through, I couldn't stop talking about it.

Don't feel that you have to go through a bunch of late-night memorizing in case you forget something important amid your tools. You have your tools, and they will be at the ready when you need them. You may find that you don't really even need them, that the power of your decision to fly will fill you with confidence once you are on the plane. As Rebecca said, let the trip unfold. You will have opened a dam and set a great river loose to flow into its natural channel.

Trust the process!! :tiphat:

Barb

[Hoosier]

Hey aeroBarb...

I guess you can be excused for actually having a life instead of sitting in front of your computer and waiting for my latest breakdown, lol!

It's a little past midnight here and my body feels completely exhausted. I need to go to bed, but it will only make tomorrow come quicker....crazy thought, I know.

Anyhow, I better get some rest, I am pretty well packed and I have my phones web browser set to here. I will probably pop on in the morning before I leave.

Thanks everyone, good night.