Do you share....

[Passenger Mark]

Your Fear of Flying with others???

People at work?

Family?

Friends?

I use to hide it. But then I decided that if people did not understand, or were too ignorant to TRY and understand, then I did not need their support.

Everyone that knows me to any degree, knows that I have a Fear of Flying. Most also know about this site.

Kind of amazing, because when I did start talking about it, I found out that there were many others that shared this common anxiety!

Also amazing was that being "open" about it, helped in my recovery.

A coworker here has concerns about flying as she has never flown before. I gave her a copy of Ray's book.

My neighbor who is an officer for the LAPD, big guy, and someone you would not mess with, will NOT get on a plane! Yes.... I have been talking with him.

Where I get my hair cut, a young lady is scared to death of flying.

All three have visited this site on a regular basis. All three are too timid to post. All three have Ray's book.

That also shows what I have been told about Internet boards. Only about 15% of the folks that visit on a regular basis actually post. Many are just too shy to open up.

So to Lisa, Mike, and Amy... I told you that you are not alone!

But back to the subject... why be worried about letting folks know. You may find out that there are allot of folks just like you out there!

Mark

[Jeff California]

I am also pretty open about it.. I think it would be harder if I refused to fly. When it comes up, I explain that I fear it but it doesnt keep me off the plane. I elaborate that I hang with some cool people on the net who share the same fear and learn from each other to make it possible/easier to fly. Some look at me weird, others dont care. I havent been able to help any fellow fof's yet.

With the diverse group we have here, it isnt hard to feel ok about sharing my fof. If it's one of my wifes co-workers, I break the ice with "yeah, I fear flying, but im working on it and one of the creators of a support net-group is a claim rep(my wife is a C-rep).
Bragging about the pilots, band manager kitty-saver, abuse therapists, etc that make up this forums family . isnt that hard.


jeff

[xiknal]

Everybody knows my story, now. I tell my flight students and my ground school class, and all my friends also know that I used to have a fear of flying. Many of them--those who have known me a long time--will vouch that I never used to talk about it with anyone (they didn't know)! :nono

It was my biggest, ugliest secret. I was ashamed of it and it seemed so out of character :blush (as if we have only one "character"). I am certain that my secrecy about it was a big impediment to getting past it.

Like Mark, I also found that opening up about it helped me get better--it made me feel less unique (the illusion of uniqueness was one of my stumbling blocks) and it also taught me that there are a lot of others out there with anxiety about flying.

When I was in the throes of FoF, I once made a list of a hundred people I knew that I thought were comfortable fliers. Ha! I later found out that some 30% of them were fearful fliers who did not talk about it!

Now that I have recovered, I find that opening up about it helps me help others. I have told a number of people about internet forums--this one being the best one now.

It's true that some people out there do not, will never, understand. But even those folks--with a few exceptions--would like to understand. So for those of you with friends who are puzzled by your fear...tell them about this site.

Barb

[WillFlyToDisney2]

I talk about it sometimes. Most people are shocked to find that out since I seem to have such a jet-set lifestyle with my job. The guys in the band give me lots of grief about it - especially when I talk to pilots in airports - but they have flown with me enough to know that I am not going to freak out on them and they even ask me questions sometimes about flying because they know that I am becoming quite the "aviation nerd". When we were landing in Long Beach in September we hit a pocket as we were descending where the plane dropped suddenly then shook pretty bad. One of the guys sitting in front of me turned back and gave me a panicked look. I just smiled and told him it was no big deal - just a pothole in the sky. The 2 that I have told the "full story" about my bad flight to said that they would be the same way if they had experienced what I had.

I think some people think that if you admit a fear then you show weakness. I look at it a little difference. If you admit to a fear then you accept it and work to overcome it unlike those that go on living in denial.

My husband doesn't "get it" either and wonders what on Earth I could be doing online until 4am in a Fear of Flying chat. I just tell him that we are all friends here so it is like a nite out with friends. :)

Kelley

[beaugest]

I guess walking into work with 25 therapists every day has me quite spoiled. We talk about everything here. I'm lucky enough to have a crew that doesn't separate me out because I'm the "boss."
My husband is always floored by the amount of personal info. that I know aboutthe people I work with. Of course, he's the opposite of me much more into talking about things or events than feelings.
I'm also open with my family. I have talked to my kids about it but I frame it as something that I do in spite of the discomfort and something I'm actively working on.
I don't talk to my mom about it much because she is probably where this all started with. But she did ask me for a copy of Ray's book today...
The weird thing is that I don't usually talk about while I'm flying. I have found for me that it is better to distract myself from the anxiety than to discuss it(I think it's the opposite for a lot of people).

[noflyingfan]

I definitely share my fear of flying with people. Heck, I shared it with 50,000 strangers in the newspaper!

We all have fears and weaknesses; I'm not ashamed of mine. I'm pretty open about most things -- if I'm asked, or it comes up in conversation, I'll mention it.

A funny story though. After my fear of flying story ran in the paper, the mayor of the town I covered at the time started chiding me a little bit about being afraid to fly. He flies all the time for his day job. So anyway, every time he went somewhere, he'd tell me about the flight, again, teasing me a little bit (all good-natured), until one night, he came in, and he said, "Erika, I've got to tell you something. I was on a plane this week that made an emergency landing. We had just taken off when we suddenly made a sharp turn, headed back to the airport and landed." I don't know if he ever found out what was wrong with the plane, but because of FAA regulations, all of the emergency vehicles in town were on the runway waiting for them, even though it was probably just a small problem and they weren't in any huge danger. He told me he thought of me and how scared I am, and after they switched them to another plane to fly them home (without incident), he was absolutely terrified the entire flight. And he had taken two flights since and said he was scared the whole time.

So I not only talk about my fear of flying, I'm RECRUITING!

[Jeff California]

"I don't talk to my mom about it much because she is probably where this all started with."

Im sure of it in my case...anxiety, control issues, all related to my childhood.

I married a calm, quiet woman which is opposite my mom.. for good reason too.

Thats a whole new thread though.......:sigh

Jeff

[invert29]

I am generally pretty open with it. When I was first diagnosed with generalized anxiety about 12 years ago, I was always pretty open about that also. It is just something I don't feel that embarrassed about.

I did just have to tell my boss about it because he wanted me to fly to the East Coast and I just don't feel ready yet. That was a little difficult because I am worried about it tainting my "professional image".

Chris

[firsttimeposting]

I am very open about my anxiety. I find that its a mix of people who don't understand and a mix of people who experience anxiety too. But either way, people are always interested and I am happy to answer all kinds of questions. I have never found someone though who heard about my anxiety and didn't look out for me or wasn't supportive. I am pretty open with most things though. So I usually don't mind telling people anything they want to know. I am one of those that don't really like talking about the anxiety if I'm in the middle of feeling it though. Changing the subject and focusing on something else works better for me.

[Disney fan]

I will mention it occasionally if the conversation is about flying.

I think as a Registered Nurse you are taught to keep your feelings to yourself. Never let the patient know what you really feel etc! i.e. would not be right to let the patient know that the odour from the infected wound makes you want to vomit!
I think we are taught so much to keep our feelings in control that it is hard to discuss personal things.

However I consider myself as a almost recovered FF now.My conversations re Fear of flying are mainly with other like minded people.

Lynda