Flying this week--horrified

[allyinfl]

Hi all,

I've posted before, and am still trying to battle my fear of flying. I am currently on business in Sacramento, Ca. I have been in Ca for almost 2 weeks now.

On 12/30, we flew from Tampa to LAX on Southwest. I had a connection in Austin and all was "OK" (by that I mean I had family to distract me and I made it onto the plane). The flight was bumpy, and I spent the usual several hours listening for the engines to cut-off and for something horrible to happen (like a plane to hit us).

I was supposed to fly home with family on 1/3, and then back to SMF on 1/7 for work, but at the last minute, I decided to stay in LA with family until the 7th. Then I agonized for days whether or not to fly or drive from LA to SMF (you can guess which I did--I drove).

Now, it is the 8th, I have a red eye on Delta (Scary) coming up on the 11th and already the familiar, sickening fear is in my stomach, my heart and my mind.

I would love to hear from others, and would really appreciate support you can offer.
:grouphug:
Please offer any thoughts you have, or safe stories about SMF.

Thanks,
:cry:

[Passenger Mark]

Sacramento is fine... very safe modern airport.

But driving from LA to Sacramento is downright dangerous! The 5 is a death road! Not to mention the roads leading into Sacto.

You flew from one coast to the other with bumps, and did fine! Fearful, shaken, but fine. There is some of that which has to go on to get use to flying.

But look at it, you felt for sure the engines would quit, or you would get hit, or each bump was "it". But you landed, flew, and did just fine, the plane did just fine. In fact after you got off of it, that plane went on and flew somewhere else over, and over, and over, and over again without problems.
Keep all that in mind as you board your flight. Understand internally that this is safe and sound. That the signals your brain is sending you are all false alarms. Check some of the links and stickies for help with exercises such as breathing etc.

Get a goody bag to distract you. Splurge and buy something just for yourself, something that you can enjoy on the plane.

Most of all realize that you will be on that plane on the 11th. There are no real alternatives to get back to Tampa. So accept that, and don't let the anxiety ruin the rest of your time in Sacramento!

You will be fine!

[EyesSkyward]

That the signals your brain is sending you are all false alarms.

I remember the first marathon I ever ran, in Portland, Oregon. About mile 23 or so, I was hurtin' something fierce, as was just about everyone else running alongside me. My legs were telling me to quit. My lungs were telling me to quit.

But there was this random guy on the side of the road. He had a whistle around his neck, like a coach, and he was shouting out motivational tips to everyone. The one I remember was this:

"Don't listen to your body. Your body is LYING to you!"

He was right. It was lying. I decided not to fall for it, and I finished. (Not with any kind of record time, mind you... but I finished.)

I occurs to me that flying anxiety is probably the same way. You feel the turbulence. You hear the unexplained noise. You see an expression on the FA's face that you decide to interpret as "worry". The list goes on. All this sensory input telling you that the plane is not safe! Telling you to give up, get off the plane, and take the next Greyhound bus.

I'm telling you, they are lies! Dirty, low-down, no-good, stinkin' lies. Don't you fall for 'em! :thumbsup:

- Jeff

[Rebecca]

I spent the usual several hours listening for the engines to cut-off and for something horrible to happen (like a plane to hit us). ... thereby squeezing any possible enjoyment out of the flight.

Sounds familiar to a lot of us armrest grippers ...:whistle: who, me? :blush:

Why can't we sit there in anticipation of something WONDERFUL to happen ... like a cool view, or all systems and backups to function properly?

It takes work, but we can turn around the thoughts. Not to put too much a 70's twist on things, but ... gotta play new tapes!

[Passenger Mark]

Why can't we sit there in anticipation of something WONDERFUL to happen ... like a cool view, or all systems and backups to function properly?

I am telling ya that making photos from the plane kills anxiety!

I am glued to the window trying to find that perfect photo. At times the plane is bumping around from turbulence, and I am annoyed!

My favorite photo from the plane... Greenland in August!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v132/mark9091/Los%20Angeles%20to%20London/UGreeenland.jpg?t=1168294469

[EyesSkyward]

My favorite photo from the plane... Greenland in August!


Nice pic! I'm "pining for the fjords" already. :)

- Jeff

[aerobat]

Hi, ally,

I just reread the thread that started with your original post, before you left Tampa. I don't know if it will help you, but you might reread it and at least prove to yourself that the ominous feelings you had before that flight were lies. You know--the images of the plane falling out of the sky or being hit by another plane. That stuff. It has the credibility of a three-dollar bill. And that's still true.

But it also has a stranglehold on you emotionally, and it's doing its best to make your remaining time in Sacramento miserable as well as throw into question how you are going to get home to Tampa.

Look, why not just work with this:

The bad feelings you had before flying to California were proven to be lies--proven by the fact of your safe arrival without any mishaps at all.

Therefore it is highly likely that the bad feelings you are experiencing now are also lies, and are going to be "outed" by your safe arrival back in Tampa.

Therefore, why not take steps right now to shut down those bad feelings?

They are not keeping you safe. If they keep you from flying and you end up driving home to Florida, you will have dramatically increased the risks of your journey.

You may know this intellectually, but it doesn't make a dent emotionally. So do something to make a dent emotionally. Go to:

www.anxieties.com (http://www.anxieties.com)

and find out about the techniques of (1) thought-stopping, (2) postponement, and (3) worry time. Time permitting, read through the whole FoF section and everything else pertinent to anxiety disorders there. But get a good grasp on those three techniques. Put your doubts aside and practice them in that order, and do it again and again. Use the fat rubber band. Enlist a worry coach if you have a friend or family member to help. If anything about this is confusing, tell us.

When you succeed at stopping the negative assault for a few seconds or more, plug in a positive image as an antidote. You'll see some good examples on the site as well, and again, if you need help, tell us.

This is what we mean when we refer to "the work". This is the sort of thing that works, in contrast with all the wallowing, fretting, worrying, agonizing, and losing sleep.

Once you start to see some results, a light bulb is going to go on. You can take control of your feelings, with commitment, attention, and practice.

It may seem totally oddball before you try it. That's part of its secret, actually: it is the thing we just haven't thought of that turns out to be the secret weapon against fear.

Please try this.

Barb

[buckshot86]

A few months ago I had a flight from DFW to New Orleans to see my friend get married. Several days before the flight anxiety took over like a dark cloud, and by the time I got to the airport I couldn't get on the plane. The girl I was going to go with was understanding, but she went on to nola and had a great time (its only a 45 minute flight!). :blush:


I certainly understand the "bad news detector" that keeps going off while on the flight. We have very active imaginations to thank for it! I recently conquered my fear of heights - by repeatedly going up in tall buildings. Now its no problem at all. It will be the same with flying. :)

[allyinfl]

:eek: I am so pleased to have you all to talk to about this. I will try some of your ideas and thoughts.

I am trying thought-stopping, but having seen that the temperature tomorrow will be below freezing I am now having thoughts of ice on wings, danger, etc.

Sigh.

[aerobat]

I am trying thought-stopping, but having seen that the temperature tomorrow will be below freezing I am now having thoughts of ice on wings, danger, etc.

That's another set of thoughts to stop.

For an antidote to use, I would suggest that you throw a query to our airline pilots (Ray, John, and Royd) on both the Ray forum and the Royd forum, then take what they say (it will be reassuring), distill it down to a sentence and an image, and plug it in right after you briefly stop the bad thoughts about icing with thought-stopping.

Please remember, too, that ice doesn't form below freezing; it forms at freezing temperatures when it's wet.

Also consider the other two techniques I mentioned. Best of luck with this!

Barb