I flew...and I lived through it! :)

[kkecu]

So thank you, first of all, for all of the help! It is comforting sitting on that plane, during push back...feeling terrified...knowing I am not alone and many people feel the way I do!

My biggest fear was that I had never gotten that paranoid before and all of a sudden...the brain...ugh...I started thinking and imagining and just freaking out!

My flight was Monday morning and my first flight was from Flint MI to Atlanta (on this flight I flew with my boyfriend) and then my second flight was from Atlanta to Newport News (without my boyfriend.) So I was terribly scared and on my flight from ATL to PHF I got diverted to Dulles after being in a holding pattern for 40 minutes...and then had to refuel and go back to PHF!!! If that's not enough to make you crazy!!!

But all in all I did fine...no tears on the flight! And I don't have to fly again until January 1st. But I still dread it!

Do you guys get really nervous when your family or friends fly? I am booking my parents a flight to visit me this Christmas and I haven't even booked the flight and I feel that "dread" for them!

Will this ever go away!!!????

:blush: Kelly

[aerobat]

Hi, Kelly,
It's great that you pushed on through and did fine on the plane. :tiphat:So your worst fears were not confirmed. You were scared but didn't freak out.

You ask:

Will this ever go away!!!????
It will very likely not go away on its own. :nono: It just doesn't.

But if you buckle down and work on it, it probably will go away, or shrink down to a very manageable level.:nod:

Some people have an easier time giving FoF the boot than others, and that's because we are different sorts of people, and our fear is tangled up in our lives in different ways. But there are a great many similarities that we share, including the feeling that the fear is all-powerful and inexorable and will never go away. So please try to remember that it's possible to feel the frustration and resignation that you feel, and then get to work on the fear and become much more comfortable with flying.

It does often help to identify what first set off the fear, and to identify what continues to set it off. From what you have said, I am wondering whether the Valujet crash was an initial trigger or a major reinforcement of your FoF. It might help you to talk about this. Not only can you get empathy and suggestions from other people, but the dialogue helps to drag our murky demons out into the light, where sometimes they shrivel--kinda like vampires;).

When I hated to fly, I used to be very nervous when friends and family were flying. While it's true that I also thought "better them than me", I felt that they were at much greater risk than they really were, and I always wanted confirmation that they arrived safely. Of course now that we have flight tracking, confirmation is easy. And truthfully, when friends and family fly now, I don't need confirmation; I know they will be OK.

Speaking of flight tracking, have you checked out our forum and links for that purpose? Many people find it reassuring to track their flight during the days before they actually get on the plane.

If you'd like suggestions on what to do next (regarding working on the fear), please ask us. There's a bounty of info here, and a lot of people in recovery who have been where you are, and you have a whole month now before you fly again. With perseverance and determination, a lot can change in a month. :)

Barb