Newbie :)

[Aimros]

Hi everyone! First post but I've been reading for about a week now. I'm from Massachusetts and I'll be flying to Orlando next week. I also have aspirations to go overseas this summer and many more times throughout my life! However, I absolutely HATE flying. I hate planes, I hate feeling out of control, I hate being clausterphobic, I hate feeling motion sickness, I hate airports who lose luggage, I'm worried about crashing and terrorism and all of the above. And honestly, I was a little superstitious posting on this forum because I feel like if I do all impending doom will fall on me.

So anyway, just from the few threads I've read I feel a lot more comfortable learning how planes work and I really enjoy thinking about turbulence as a "bump in the road." I've bought lots of celebrity gossip magazines (total guilty pleasure ;)) and have a gameboy, a laptop to watch a movie on, books to read, games to play, etc. to distract me on the flight. I don't want to take any medication, so I'm going to try without this time, since I think I can be brave. Thanks for all of the help this board has given me so far, and I hope to get some more before I leave in a few days!

[spiffyone]

I'm from Mass too...and so is Debbie. Where are you?

It will be fine...not perfect, but not as scary as what you imagine.

I started flying again 3 years ago and have since flown...gosh...I never counted, but over 30 legs, and recently flew to Arizona all by myself. The support of this board was EXTREMELY helpful.

Let us know what you need and we will try to help!

[Aimros]

I'm from the Northampton area, so I'll be flying out of BDL (about 1 hour closer than Logan). I guess what I'm looking for from this board is some reassurance that its normal to be scared. No one else in my family is afraid to fly, some of them don't really like it, but they don't mind it either. I try and joke around about getting sick and upset about flying, and usually they just roll their eyes and laugh...when really sometimes I'm not laughing inside. I know that sounds silly. My dad used to tell me that my fear "is all in my head" and when I was 13 that use to annoy me, but now I realize it really is all in my head, and I want to learn how to control it.

[spiffyone]

I live in Norwood...closer to Boston. Is that airport code for Hartford? If not, there's another airport hiding out that way that I don't even know about. Better to avoid Logan, especially with all the tunnel nonsense. The airport is fine...but it will be so stressful getting there, that's just not what you need the day you fly.

Here is my wisdom about flying in 25 words or less:

1. It is okay to be scared. But recognize the fear as a product of your brain, and not a natural response to the situation, if that makes sense. You shouldn't feel ashamed for feeling scared, or scared of being scared. But I think it helps to be aware that the scared feeling has to do with stuff in your head, not the stuff on the plane. I always say to myself, This is your anxiety....kind of like, This is your reflux. It's a feeling I have that I can't help, but it has little to do with the actual facts about flying and how safe my flight is.

2. Once you are sort of curious about your anxiety and make friends with it (the way one makes friends with their reflux, to continue my reflux analogy), you will find that there are things that bother you more and less about flying...for example, I don't like flying late in the day, or getting to the airport with too little time to spare, or waiting at the gate for a long time. So I try to avoid those things, knowing that they will just stress me out more. Kind of like eating tomato sauce, when you have reflux. You can do it, but you know that it will make you feel worse. It also helps me (when flying) to make the day as "normal" as possible....eat something, bring work with me, catch up on reading articles on the plane. That "normalness" reinforces the feeling that it is just another day.

Well, that was more than 25 words. But I hope that helps. Others will no doubt chime in. Don't hesitate to ask any questions about things that worry you ahead of time. This board is a great place to get your myths and fears dispelled.

[Aimros]

yep, BDL is the Hartford airport - believe me, I'd much rather be going there then Boston!

I was doing pretty good getting comfortable about flying this weekend, and then I go to the movies tonight and there is a preview for a new movie coming out which had to show a lovely seen of a plane crashing. Excellent. It made me a little uncomfortable.

I'm going to keep reading on the boards and make myself brave again.

[cshollingsworth]

Hello and welcome! :) As you have already found out, there are lots of people here willing to help. At least you are taking the fear thing into your own hands and are starting to work at overcoming it. It can be a long and daunting task, but I'm sure you can do it! :tiphat:

[jstockdude]

You are certainly not alone in your fear. It is absoultely normal to be afraid of flying, and you've taken a huge step in conquering that fear. This board is just for you to tell us specifically about your fears and to help people with similar feelings help you get rid of them. Congrats on commiting to flying without meds which is more of an accomplishment than it seems, and welcome to taking flight!

[scaredy_cat]

Welcome Aimros!

You are definitely not alone here! If you do a search on omens or superstitions you'll see that most of us here have the same thoughts on that subject. Its perfectly normal and just a way your mind plays tricks on you so that it doesnt have to face up to the fear.

I recommend getting Capt. Ray's book if you havent already and reading through as many posts on here that you can. Especially the flight reports.

Be sure to post any specific questions or concerns you have. There is a lot of knowledge on this board!

[Aimros]

Bummer! I wish I found this forum sooner--- I would really like to get Capt Ray's book but I leave in 3 days...good luck with that, haha :angel:

I've been trying to define my real fears lately. I guess a big one is not being in control. Another is the fact that it really bothers me when everyone else seems just fine flying, when I think its doomsday and am freaking out. How can everyone just sit there calmly in a plane, when I am obviously noticing inherent danger about everything in the situation? (I'm joking a bit here...). Anyway, my biggest fear is crashing since I have no control of the situation-- but I'm pretty much scared of everything about flying.

[spiffyone]

others are anxious too, they just don't look it.

The biggest advice I can give is to realize that the fear is in your head. It doesn't mean anything. Ray's book is helpful as it gives lots of info about flying (this helps obsessive types like me since the more I know, the better i feel about something). Next time you can get this one. This time, tell yourself whatever you have to tell yourself to get through it. Even if you worry on the flight or are scared...it will probably not be "perfect"...but just to do it is, I think, a therapeutic step since it will help you realize that you CAN.

feel free to post on here up till the last minute...people are usually quick about responding and it seems like someone is always on.

[Barb-SAN]

Bummer! I wish I found this forum sooner--- I would really like to get Capt Ray's book but I leave in 3 days...good luck with that, haha :angel:

Have you read through Capt. Ray's forum? He has tons of free information there that you can read immediately, and print out whatever seems useful to take with you on the plane as a reminder.

Also at www.anxieties.com (http://www.anxieties.com) there is a lot of free helpful information in his fear of flying section.

Capt. Chance has free information on his website as well.

There's more than enough available out there for you to read non-stop for the next three days! And, it may help you to change your thinking, a bit...though it does take time to "reprogram" your brain!;)

[LeslieDEN]

Another is the fact that it really bothers me when everyone else seems just fine flying, when I think its doomsday and am freaking out.
Spiffy's right ... I think imagining that everybody's doing so much better than we are fits right in with FOF.

I remember early in my "recovery" I was sitting in the Phoenix boarding lounge waiting to go to Denver, and the gate agent made a joke over the PA, something like, "Just want to tell you guys that it's 70 degrees here, but it's a snowstorm in Denver, so if you want to stay in the sun, now's your last chance." The woman next to me sighed loudly, and I figured she was just expressing frustration at having to drive in a snowstorm, having to leave nice sunny Phoenix, whatever -- anything but what I was feeling, which was scared of landing in a snowstorm. Why can't I be like her?

So I'm mulling this over, how everybody in the world but me is OK with flying, and she turns to me and out of the blue says, "I'm afraid to fly. I just walked off a plane in Detroit." Wow! I was stunned for a second. I tried to tell her that I understood, but I wasn't very articulate about it. I told her I was a fearful flyer too and I planned to meet the pilot and that that helped. Afterwards, I kicked myself for not inviting her to meet the pilot with me.

Then my boarding group was called, and we wished each other good luck, and I was off. I think she made it, but I still wish I'd thought to bring her to the cockpit with me.

Anyway, that taught me that my assumption that I'm the single person on the plane who's nervous is way off. My education continued as I flew more and more, and I'd hear comments around me about issues I'd long since put to rest (folks on the A320 making nervous comments about the Airbus's "barking dog" sound, which I'm now used to; a guy behind me on a flight out of San Jose remarking nervously, "We sure are turning a lot" -- I wanted to tell him, "Yeah! That's the Loupe 1 departure! Totally normal for San Jose!"; folks expressing concern when our plane is held for maintenance, as if it means our flight won't be safe -- a bugaboo I got over a long time ago).

That's my long way of telling you that you're NOT alone! The fear of flying spectrum across the population is huge! It runs from folks who refuse to fly to folks who want to fly but can't book tickets to folks who book tickets but can't get on the plane to folks who get on the plane but torture themselves the whole flight (I think you're in that category, with the "inherent dangers" you keep noticing; that was my category too) to folks who feel vague anxiety throughout the flight to folks who feel little to no anxiety until something they think is weird happens to folks who ... well, you get it.

All that's left now is to work on it. It'll be OK for you!