Countdown T - 68hrs and counting

[gordies]

well, hello all my friends out there.

This time I am trying to approach things differently. Many of you will know that I have flown back and forth to Indonesia and Australia and Singapore. The flight on Friday is 1hr 15min and I am dreading it, I was supposed to be flying with 2 friends but circumstances are changing and they might not be able to come along now.

I am trying to be stoic and determined as I see this as the kill or cure flight, the tester to see if I am ready to start flying again. I have had 2 yrs of aborts now and I have had enough. I go through periods of 'stuff it, I am giving up totally' to 'no way is this going to beat me'.

Flying fascinates me, once I am up and away I want to hang out the windows taking pictures. It is getting me on board that is the problem. Once the doors are closed then I change as I know I am on my way and that is that. I have flown from Australia to the UK myself before and know that I can do it. The problem here is that I am flying from Birmingham to Glasgow and know fine well that for 4 hours I can do it by train and having that option makes it an easy way out.

I am doing deep breathing relaxation and filling my head with all the happy flight moments and all the successes of the past.

I am lucky in that turbulence does not bother me at all. At the end of the day it is wind. What feels like a huge nudge inside the aircraft is a mere wobble in reality and it does not scare me at all.

I do not like being closed in, I know that is part of the problem BUT I will quite happily let them close me in a train for 4 hours with one stretch of the journey being 1hr 15 nonstop between stations. So, I am trying to get that into my head that I can do it on a train so why not do it safer on a plane?

Its not long to go now and I know there are no easy answers apart from 'get on the thing and go'.

As always I am happy to hear from any of my friends out there and I would love to be publishing a trip report with pictures soon and will listen to any last minute advice any of you good people can give me.

Gordon

[Barb-SAN]

Hi Gordies...
I found Glasgow International Airport on Google Earth...here is a shot for you. Did you read the Google Earth thread? Were you able to download the program? Since you said you love to hang out the window taking pictures, my suggestion is to spend some of the next hours before your flight playing with Google Earth, if you can, imagining all the things you might see from the windows. Perhaps you can print out some pages of different views from different altitudes, and then when you are in the plane, you can try to match up your printouts with what you are actually seeing....assuming you can get a window seat. I think you might find yourself so fascinated trying to stay oriented with the scenery that you might forget to be nervous. Perhaps you could make it a game, checking off different landmarks on your Google Earth Photos. If you don't have the computer capabilities, perhaps those of us here who can do it can make some screen shots for you, such as this attachment. If just looking at the aerial photos makes you nervous, then that's a good time to practice your breathing techniques, and see if you can be calm while looking at the pictures.

I hope you will print out the "meet the pilot" letter...then when you talk to him or her, show the Google Earth photos, and maybe the pilot will also make landmark announcements during the flight.

As far as the anxiety...if you can just accept that you might feel a little anxious and uncomfortable, but that it is normal when doing something unfamiliar, and not dangerous....rather than fighting it, that might also be helpful. And if you tell your seatmate that you are a nervous flyer, with luck you will have a kind person who will chat with you.

Good luck!:thumbsup:

Barb-SAN

Technical note....this time I saved the image to my hard drive using the Google Earth File menu. It was not necessary to make the file any smaller with a photo editing program.

[mercier]

I'm the same way. Those first few minutes on the plane are the worst for me. It just feels small, but then I become acclimated. When I flew to Cuba last year I was pleasantly surprised when I got on the Airbus 330 which felt very big compared to the smaller planes I had recently flown in for short flights of an hour. This just felt big and roomy.

Yeah, there's no answer but get on the plane. I don't like it either, but it needs to be done. I find now that waiting until near the end of boarding to get on the plane helps somewhat. I used to line up right away, but then sit chewing my nails until we were finally ready to take off. I hate that time. If your seating is assigned, then wait a few minutes before getting on the plane.

[Barb-SAN]

On the other hand...if you get on early and get settled, then you have time to go to the cockpit and chat with the pilots!;) Also, getting on sooner means it's more likely you will find a spot in the overhead bin for your carryon luggage. In fact, you may get to preboard after you show the gate agent "the letter"....in which case you don't get crowded in the jetway, and it's a little more relaxing to have the empty plane to get yourself situated, last minute bathroom visit, etc.

Barb-SAN

[tabbygirl]

But I would try not looking out the window (at least until 10,000 ft) and pretending I was on a bus (going uphill!). You know, just to get to the point where you WANT to hang out the window and take pix.

I found on my recent flights that I was finally ready to look outside from the moment we pushed back. But in my more tense days I couldn't bear to look out until we were well up and away.

Do a little deep breathing/self-hypnosis once you sit down and just kind of detach from your actual surroundings. Am I making any sense? I kind of do that at the dentist, for example, because it's just too weird having someone with their hands in your mouth.

Gordie, I'm really pulling for you. I've gone from loving flying to sheer terror back to a very high level of comfort and almost love. So I know it can be done, and I know you want to do it. I think maybe you're setting yourself up to fail by verbalizing your worries in such a way that you seem to expect failure. Not that you should "stuff" your concerns but maybe some positive visualization would help?

I know it can feel creepy when you're first closed in. Have you tried something like hand-held games or bright flashy magazines to keep your right brain busy, instead of giving it a chance to rev up and sabotage you? Tetris has helped me stay pretty calm even through take-off, which I really didn't like there for awhile.

All this, along with the breathing exercises, can really bring your adrenaline way down.

[Barb-SAN]

All these responses just go to show that there are a wide range of techniques that people use to comfort themselves when flying! I love looking out the window during take-off, and seeing the changing perspective of familiar places...I've always gotten an adrenaline rush from take-offs. Now that I've gotten better at recognizing landmarks, I watch even more intently trying to see things I hadn't noticed before. It's just such a treat to see the view. Even with flying as common as it is, I'd guess that around the world probably the majority of people have not flown before....surely not often.

So...as always....take the ideas that work for you.....and leave the rest.

I've used that "detachment" technique too at the dentist. The opposite approach is to "ground yourself", noticing as many cues as possible from your environment, visual, auditory, and tactile, and really "Be" in your seat on the plane, and really experience everything about your flight, "just as it is".

Also...Gordies, I know what you mean about "do it now or never"...but really, you always have another chance. However, you will feel a HUGE relief if you get that initial flight over with, and then subsequent flights won't be nearly as big a deal.

Good luck...we're pulling for you!:hyped:

Barb-SAN

[scaredy_cat]

Hi gordies!

You said once you are on the plane and the doors are closed, its not so bad, so I definitely think you should have something to keep your mind occupied while you're sitting there waiting for the doors to close. The google earth thing is a great idea, especially if you love to take pictures out the window.
I also think if you are busy looking out the window, taking pictures, you won't be looking inside, realizing how small it is, etc.

If you can't make it on this flight, its OK. I gave up a $400 ticket and a trip to new york last year because I just couldnt go through with it. However, I recently completed a flight halfway across the county, 2 planes each way, and although I didn't do great, I was very proud of myself for actually getting on the planes and not running off at the last minute. If you can get on yours, just think of how amazing you will feel afterwards!

Whatever you decide we are all here for you. I hope to be seeing those pictures soon!

[gordies]

hi all,

thank you for your words of encouragement. its getting closer now and with 2 more sleeps to go this is when the grief normally kicks in. last night i slept like a log and i am trying hard to approach this differently now.

we all have our ways of dealing with things and i feel so daft at the thought of handing over a fof letter at check-in that i tell myself not to be so stupid and just get on and go.

until friday comes i dont know what will happen but i thank you all for your support and regardless of what happens i will be in touch friday evening or saturday sometime.

Gordon

[Barb-SAN]

hi all,

we all have our ways of dealing with things and i feel so daft at the thought of handing over a fof letter at check-in that i tell myself not to be so stupid and just get on and go.Gordon

Yes, I was sort of embarrassed the first time I handed over the letter too. But the airline personnel were SO helpful and friendly that it immediately banished my embarrassment. They WANT you to enjoy your experience and fly with them again (it is a "for profit" operation, after all ;) ).

You've said your most vulnerable moment is actually getting on the plane and staying there until the door is closed. What you've done in the past hasn't worked, so why not try this approach and see how it works? If you got to the airport and through security at least an hour before departure time, that would give you a chance to chat with the gate agent before he/she gets busy (and before there are lots of other folks around the desk). Explain your problem about having bailed in the past. I know it's hard to confess weaknesses to strangers...but you may never see him/her again anyway, and you are hardly the first with FF! Especially if you are flying alone, there is something immediately comforting about making a connection with another person when you are feeling stressed. Just put yourself in their hands, and tell them it would help so much to pre-board, and talk with the pilot for a few minutes. You can read TONS of testimonials here from people who swear by talking to the pilots to reduce their anxiety! I've also found that admitting to the nervousness actually seems to deflate it a bit.

What about Google Earth? Sorry to be such a pest....but I am just enamored with that fabulous technology. A screen shot doesn't begin to do justice to what it's like to "fly" around and check out the terrain from all different angles and elevations...(such brilliance from the computer folks who designed the software!!)

Go get em!!:hyped: :hyped:

Barb-SAN

[scaredy_cat]

I agree with Barb-SAN about meeting the pilot. I didn't do it on my recent flight. I was too nervous and scared, plus I just felt too embarrassed. Its the one thing I truly regret not doing. Who knows what difference it would have made on my flights! Even if you don't want to hand over the letter, or confess your fears, maybe just casually ask to meet the pilot? Then you could still be reassured without "everyone" knowing your problems.

[Barb-SAN]

I've gotten some raised eyebrows (jealousy?) from seatmates when I've come back from the cockpit before the flight started. As in "How come you're special? Friends with the pilot?":lol: :lol:

Barb-SAN

P.S. In my opinion, it's better to hand over the letter rather than just ask to meet the pilots. They are much less likely to say "no" after reading the letter. You could also take extra copies to leave with the gate agent, pilots, and flight attendants, to share with others they know with difficulties flying (to refer to this site for information and support). The more the merrier here!!

[Barb-SAN]

Deb, It sounds like you have mastered "Advanced" Meet the Pilots. Maybe you should give lessons, ha ha.....
Barb-SAN

[Rebecca]

until friday comes i dont know what will happen but i thank you all for your support and regardless of what happens i will be in touch friday evening or saturday sometime.
Gordon, I think it is very important to shift "I don't know what will happen" thoughts to "I am going to get on the plane and be fine once I am there" thoughts.

Allowing room for or even expecting ourselves to "fold" or "lose it" cannot be a part of our weaponry, excepting that we plan out our arsenal of things to do IF we start feeling shaky.

Good that you're deep breathing, thinking of good flight experiences, and such. Kick in everything you've got on this one, and I think we'll be hearing a FLIGHT report!

:kneeslap:

[gordies]

Barb-San - how excellent to be though off in that way. I wouldnt mind being in the jumpseat for the whole flight as I would be that busy drinking in information from what is displayed in the cockpit that there would not be time for the fear monster to come along.

I have printed out a few copies of the letter. I have a giant Sodoku (i love them !) book at the ready and my passport and ticket details are out and ready. I dont have to pack anything, apart from my trusty iPod as I am going 'home' to Scotland for the weekend to see my beloved and patient other half.

Gordon

[Barb-SAN]

Gordies....Yes, the cockpit would keep you busy. If you were in a SMALL plane, you could keep yourself busy in the cockpit navigating by visual landmarks.....something you could practice as a passenger in a large plane!!

Glad to hear you've gotten some copies of the letter printed out. We'll be looking forward to hearing about your conversations with the gate agent, FA's, and pilots. After your flight, perhaps you will have some additional tips for others who post here who haven't yet gotten their nerve up to talk to the pilots.

The Sodoku should keep your mind busy too....good to bring along something you enjoy working on.

At least you have something positive to look forward to at the end of your trip...imagine how proud he'll be when you walk off the plane!!

:hyped: :ray::hyped::ray:

Barb-SAN :medplane: :ukflag: :security: :bigplane:

[Lynda]

Gordon,

Good to hear from you again!

This time you can do it, don't even think about getting off the plane.

If you truly want to be able to get around this world again then you have to get back on the plane and go somewhere .This short flight seems a good opportunity to start again.

Many of us have been in your situation, I was grounded for 10 years, Mark got on and off planes so many times . I think it is when you realize that no matter how you feel, think or react you are going to get on that plane and stay there that eventually you break the cycle.
When you get to that stage I think the anxiety starts to subside a little, after all if there is no way out, if you are really committed to the flight what is the point of being so anxious.

Meeting the pilot's really does help, you realize that they are just ordinary people with family's at home. They also want to get home safely.

I hope you make it this time Gordon:) :)
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[scaredy_cat]

Barb -

I hadda giggle when you mentioned the "raised eyebrows"! Even if I'm not nervous about a flight, I always pop into the cockpit and drop "our" name. It usually turns into a very long visit with me in the jumpseat, there until the FA's kick me out. Not the pilots!

One particular time, as I was just passing through First Class, I heard, "HEY, DEB!!" bellowed from the cockpit. When I turned around, the Captain said, "Where are you sitting, just in case we need you?" I told him, and he said, "K, good. See you in Phoenix". Wanna talk about raised eyebrows??!! The FC passengers must've thought I worked for the airline. Every hour or so during the flight, a FA would ask if I was okay, did I need anything, and when it started to get turbulent, she came over to tell me the Captain had called her to tell me it was very minor chop, we'd be out of it in 10 minutes, and sent over a bottle of wine!" Five minutes after she told me that, he announced over the PA that it was going to get "bouncy" for a few minutes.

So, yeah, it definitely pays to make that visit!


What a great story! Maybe the other passengers thought you were an off-duty pilot yourself! :lol:

You can do it Gordon, maybe you'll come back with a story to tell like Deb's! Be sure to post your flight info in the tracking forum so we can check up on you tomorrow. Have a great time!

[Barb-SAN]

Gordies...You said it would be excellent to have people on the plane look at you like you were "special"....well, how about considering yourself the "Birmingham Special Goodwill Ambassador for Taking Flight" and conduct yourself accordingly?!! :cool:

Barb-SAN

[gordies]

as my name is Gordon Brown should I scare the s*** out of them and let the airline know that Mr Brown (current chancellor of the exchequer) is flying to Glasgow.

As he is, like me, a Scot and he has a house in Scotland this could really turn interesting. Imagine? My own personal escort to the plane instead of off it for once !! LOL

what ya think?

[Barb-SAN]

EXCELLENT!! Do you look remotely like him?:angel:

You know you've got an attentive audience here, so give us a good story!!

[Barb-SAN]

as my name is Gordon Brown should I scare the s*** out of them and let the airline know that Mr Brown (current chancellor of the exchequer) is flying to Glasgow.

As he is, like me, a Scot and he has a house in Scotland this could really turn interesting. Imagine? My own personal escort to the plane instead of off it for once !! LOL

what ya think?

Well, on further thought, there is that little issue of "impersonating a famous person"....be sure you aren't escorted OFF the plane rather than onto it! Though it seems unlikely THE Mr. Brown would be flying coach on a regularly scheduled flight....:lol:

[gordies]

well folks, 24 hours to go until take off, flights being back on scheduled after todays proplems of course !.

sitting here calm and collected, can eat okay, have slept each night without any problems but being out on the road today with about 2 hours between appointments gave me loads of time to think. positive and negative thoughts in and out my head all the time. still dont know if my mates will make it.

so, here i go heading in to the final 24hrs and I wonder what sort of emotional roller coaster ride I am in for.

will keep in touch friends.

Gordon

[Barb-SAN]

It sounds like you are doing great....whatever "tricks" you are using are working. Just remember emotions come and go....it's part of being human...and it's natural to feel nervous doing something unfamiliar. Eventually it becomes routine, and no longer revs you up. It sounds like you will have your thoughts directed towards a positive outcome for yourself, whether or not your mates come with you. It may actually be easier if they don't....since then you do not have a "known audience" with expectations. But if they are there...tell them to keep you talking and sitting in your seat until the door closes!:lol:

[noflyingfan]

Deb, what airline do you fly? Next time I fly it, I'm going to meet the pilot and just say, "it's alright, I know Deb." :thumbsup:

[gordies]

well, this morning has been a roller coaster ride of emotions. mates are deffo not coming now so that was an instant mega panic moment and I am up and down like a yo-yo. Right now I am ready to abandon the whole thing as the stress is just too much to handle.

Arrrghhhhh !!! why is life so complicated?

Gordon

[scaredy_cat]

Gordon

I think I actually did worse when my boyfriend went with me compared to the time I went alone. I felt like it was ok to fall apart since he was there to take care of me, rather than forcing myself to be strong alone.

You can do this. We're all waiting to see the wonderful pictures you take during the flight. Last minute panic is the worst, but don't let it get to you. Just get on the plane and keep your eyes closed and seatbelt tight until the door is shut!

Good luck!

[Barb-SAN]

Gordies...I just got up here in California...and I see from your post that you have only 2 hrs. until check-in....so this may be too late already.

BUT...remember nerves are normal for doing something unfamiliar. Remember your plan to talk to the gate agent, FA's, and pilot, and share the information about TF so that other people with FF can also find support, camaraderie, and information. Don't worry about your mates not going...it will be easier without them. You can focus on your conversations with the pilots, and if you say or do something dorky....figure they won't see you again anyway. And remember you have someone waiting for you at the other end who would LOVE to see you take a flight successfully...the first of many that you can take together in your future.

You just have to take it on faith that you CAN do this, and that it will get easier on every subsequent flight.

Go.....:hyped: :hyped: :hyped:

Barb-SAN