I have a sense of impending doom. Help!

[oceansolitude]

On July 2nd I will be flying from NC to Los Angeles on American Airlines. This involves a short flight on American Eagle, on an Embraer jet, from RDU to St. Louis. Then from St. Louis to LA I will fly on an MD-80 (Super 80). On the way back it will be MD-80 from LAX to Austin and then an American Eagle Embraer from Austin to RDU.

Now I flew to Spain with a group of people from school on a study abroad last summer and was comforted because I wouldn't be going alone, we flew American and everything was pretty smooth. I was apprehensive about the flights at first but upon returning to the United States I had no fear of flying.

Unfortunately, nearly a year later, that fear has returned. When I made my reservations I was blase, but in the past few days, I've increasingly grown almost CERTAIN that one of my 4 flights will be the statistic. Here are the specific things I'm scared of:

1. My choice of airline...I only chose American because their ticket came up the cheapest on Cheaptickets.com...I have just found out that Delta does non-stop flights to LA (which are safer, I've read) and at a slightly cheaper price than what I'd paid...unfortunately my tickets are non-refundable and if I re-book my flights I'll lose the nearly $400 I spent on the American reservation. I've combed scores of airline reviews and I've read nothing but negativity towards American Airlines - how they are lax on security, mean/rude to passengers, their planes are "falling apart" and the list goes on and on.

Not to mention American was the airline chosen by the 9/11 hijackers - was there a reason for that? I read many more positive reviews about Delta and Southwest, and would really love to switch my tickets to Delta...do you think it would be a smart move? After all, those airlines have had no fatal crashes while American has had one too many...I just feel that if any airline is to crash soon, it will more likely be American because they've had quite a few crashes in recent years.

2. Terrorism. Because there's just nothing anyone can really do to prevent a terrorist attack, despite the security being heightened. I was just reading this site today: http://www.gunowners.org/op0415.htm and I'm just like, yup, that's gonna happen to my flight, I can just feel it...

3. Bad weather...I will be flying in the summer, and I've read that Austin (where I'll be stopping over) can have bad storms. You never know when a storm will hit and the crew will be unprepared...

I can't go on like this. I don't know how to get rid of the feeling of iminent doom, that certainty that I won't make it out alive...I just don't know what to do and it's preventing me from being able to get work done or enjoy anything. I was just fine several weeks ago and now I've regressed so much that it's driving me crazy! The biggest issue now is with the airline. I just don't know if I should stay with American or just re-book with Delta even if it means loosing that $400...HELP!!!! :confused:

[soar9903]

Hi Ocean!
First of all take a deep breath. It sounds like you may have gotten yourself into a little bit of a tizzy. I know how that feels... it occupies your head all the time and you just "awfulize" or think about the worst case scenerio.
Try to take a step back and think about it from a less super-absorbed place. It seems like you have come up with a ton of possibilities for things that could go wrong.. what are the chances that they will all, or any of them actually happen? Probably pretty slim to none.
Try to read some of the success stories on the board... people who, just like you, thought they wouldnt make it out alive, and are here to write about it.
One thing that helps me in my panic moments is to just talk it to death with someone. Luckily I have a very supportive best friend (who will actually be coming with me on my upcoming trip to LA) and when i have the moments where i think I should cancel my trip and get into bed, I call her and tell her everything I am afraid of. It helps me to hear the thoughts outloud, which makes them seem almost silly, and also to hear her confidence and reassurance is great. Find someone like that and talk it out.
Good luck, keep us posted.

[noflyingfan]

I've flown on an American Eagle Embraer jet. It was hot and had no leg room, but that's the worst I can say. The people were perfectly nice, I never felt that security was compromised in any way and the plane was definitely not "falling apart." It looked old (the seats were a little worn), but age isn't the same with planes as it is with cars. The regulations are really strict, and there's a rigid schedule of what must be checked and what must be replaced in what period of time.

When it comes to airlines, I've learned that it's best to judge for onesself. For every negative review you read about American, you'll read a negative review about Delta, and probably Southwest too. Southwest is my personal preferred airline, but that doesn't mean I would feel that I was doing something unsafe by booking a ticket on another airline. (The reasons I like Southwest are mainly comfort and ticket price things, not safety things).

I think people are much more likely to write negative reviews anyway, unless they are particularly sensitive to something. For many people, flying is simply a way to get from here to there; they don't even think about being afraid. So if someone like that gets on a plane, takes a ride and lands, that person probably isn't as likely to go online and say, "I paid to be flown to a place, and this airline took me there, and everything went fine." But if they have a bad experience, then they'll feel motivated to say something.

[glamtart]

Hi Oceansolitude! Good job for coming here to get some help and reassurance!

I fly American almost every weekend for pleasure, and several times a year for work. I've flown on tons of MD-80s and ERJs, as well as every other aircraft that American flies, and they're all safe. I've never even experienced a minor incident. American flights get the same level of security from the TSA as any other airline, and they are serious about controlling security themselves. I love this airline, and I feel very confident about flying with them. In fact, if all goes well, I'm getting on one of their flights on Friday down to MEX or maybe somewhere else!

As far as Austin goes, I used to live there and have flown in and out of their airport tons of times. Most of my friends still live there, so I take little ERJs from Dallas to Austin a lot. Yes, central Texas can be really stormy in the summer, but remember that pilots are trained to fly in bad weather. A pilot isn't going to do anything that will endanger him/herself, the crew, the passengers, or the airplane. I've been on lots of flights where we have flown around a storm instead of through it. It's actually kind of fun to watch a storm go by, as long as I am not flying through it!

And finally, terrorism... don't let the bad guys win by scaring you off! First off, security is so much better now, so the chances of bad guys getting into the cockpit are slim to none. Secondly, the flying public is alert and prepared, and I can guarantee that my little 5' 6" woman's body is going to pounce on someone who is trying to endanger the flight, and most of the other passengers are going to be right there with me. Also, don't you think the terrorists will try something different if they decide to attack again? They used planes once, so we have taken all sorts of security precautions... they know we're on heightened alert now at airports. So they'll attack us a different way. Think of it as a war... if you attack from a beach one day, you will attack from a forest the next day, because the enemy will be watching the beach! I seriously doubt that they'd try a plane again.

Anyway, it's going to be OK. Your choice of airline is a good choice and a safe choice. Breathe easier!

Edited to add: It's my personal opinion that the reason the terrorists chose United and American is because of their names. Therefore it's not just two random airlines chosen (Delta and Southwest, Continental and JetBlue, etc.), it's the airlines named after our country... therefore it's more of a political hit. However, back to my previous point: if they're going to attack us again, they'll probably do it a different way. So try not to sweat it! :)

[scaredy_cat]

ocean-

United was the other airline chosen on 9-11 and they are as safe as AA or any others. I have flown two round-trip flights in my life (8 planes total) on united since 9-11 and I NEVER worried about terrorists. I even had to take my shoes off at the airport security.

You should worry more about the weirdos in LA than the planes getting you there! :lol:

You'll be fine :)

[oceansolitude]

Wow!! Thanks so much every single one of you for all your thoughtful replies. This might sound dramatic, but after I read your responses at work throughout the day, they really clicked in place and somehow I feel tons better. It's weird, yesterday I litterally felt like I was going to die, today all of those feelings have decreased by like 90%! And I only have y'all to thank!

I read some of the other threads on this board as well, including the ones you linked, JohnRobinson, plus CaptainStark's FAQ threads and a great one by DebbieLev called "New Tool" or something like that, and they were all very helpful. Once I realized that I was having "Anticpatory Anxiety" and not some sort of gut/prophetic warning, I could finally relax! All that frantic searching and reading reviews on the web was just feeding my fears. I need to come here for a more realistic view on everything, especially since there seem to be a lot of actual pilots here as well!

I'm probably not 100% cured but I'm certainly better than I was 24 hours ago. I will keep my tickets and proudly fly the US Flag Carrier on July 2nd! And I read about a book that CaptainStark published, I plan on ordering that, too!

Thanks again...you've all really helped me! :tongue::tongue:

[WillFlyToDisney]

Sign up for American's frequent flyer program and earn points for this trip. You will earn more points for 4 flights than 2! :)

AA is a perfectly safe airline and the one preferred by a ton of celebrities.

I have had issues with AA's customer service but I never for one second thought that their safety was affected.

The ERJs are nice because the configuration of the cabin is a 1x2 seating. If you are traveling alone choose a seat on the "1" side and you have a window AND an aisle seat all rolled into 1. The jets are usually pretty clean and new and they are FAST down the runway. :thumbsup:

[soar9903]

You should print out some of the responses/posts that made you feel better and then that way you can take them on the plane with you in case you need some reassurance.

[scaredy_cat]

Make sure you meet the pilots. Thats the one thing I wish I had done on my recent flights. And as another suggested, sign up for the frequent flyer program. I signed up for them all even though I may never fly on certain airlines, because you just never know!

You should really get Captain Ray's book if you haven't already. it has some great information in it.

[aerobat]

Wow!! Thanks so much every single one of you for all your thoughtful replies. This might sound dramatic, but after I read your responses at work throughout the day, they really clicked in place and somehow I feel tons better. It's weird, yesterday I litterally felt like I was going to die, today all of those feelings have decreased by like 90%! And I only have y'all to thank!

This experience of yours, Ocean, just goes ta show ya the real nature of FoF: it is a neurochemical illusion... :) ...fed by stress hormones...yes, it came from somewhere, but that almost doesn't matter (as with mosquitoes, who cares where they came from...swat 'em :lol: ). Trust this process of discovery to the core, keep soaking up the good juju here, and keep the old Trickster on the run.:happyguy: After a couple of successful flights, you'll join the growing circle of ex-fearful fliers who now see flying, and the self-discovery that accompanies it, as a grand adventure. :tiphat:

[oceansolitude]

Arrgh my flight is in 2 days and I'm totally freaked out again, because of this:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Airlines_flight_1740

My flight is 1737...same airplane model!!! I was fine all those weeks ago after visiting this site, but now it's like all my fears have returned, no matter what I do. I am just certain that something is going to happen, especially when it seems like the MD80 isn't the safest plane...I've heard that it lacks a lot of important safety features, and I still feel doom. :cry:Why does American Airlines have so many recent incidents when Delta and Southwest have had basically none? I don't get it.

[beeinatree]

i told my husband i dont like american airlines too and will never fly them. he told me the reason they would have more accidents or problems is because they are the largest airline. this fact is confirmed in wikipedia. so he told me that is why they have more problems. they are the biggest airline. you have a bigger business with more customers, there will be more problems. that fact has made me feel better. i still dont want to fly them though, so i know how you feel.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Airlines

[Jeff California]

After the Jetblue landing gear incident and discussions about it here, I think I would be trying to calm fellow passengers if it happened to me. How many were injured??? ZERO.

Ocean- the thoughts of impending doom are normal around here... Learnign to desensitize them is key. I come here and go to www.flightlevel350.com (http://www.flightlevel350.com) to help me when my mind starts going nuts with stuff from stories about planes.




Jeff

[oceansolitude]

The irony is that the MD-80 IS the safest plane! If you leave out the few aircraft types that have never had an accident, the MD-80 and the 737 are neck-and-neck for safest airplane. That landing gear incident was actually a tremendous success story. The only thing that it proves is that, even on the rare occasion that something goes wrong, the passengers are still extremely safe.

True, I didn't even look at it that way. Still...it must have been horrifying for the passengers, but at least they all made it out alive. They were lucky!!!

i told my husband i dont like american airlines too and will never fly them. he told me the reason they would have more accidents or problems is because they are the largest airline. this fact is confirmed in wikipedia. so he told me that is why they have more problems. they are the biggest airline. you have a bigger business with more customers, there will be more problems. that fact has made me feel better. i still dont want to fly them though, so i know how you feel.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/American_Airlines

Why don't you want to fly them? Yeah, I guess since they would have more flights than Delta or Southwest, AA is more likely to have problems...still, next time I think I'm going to fly with Delta or Southwest just for more peace of mind, even though I've flown with American often and haven't had problems...it's just that long periods of time elapse between my flights and I become fearful all over again. Sigh.

Ocean- the thoughts of impending doom are normal around here... Learnign to desensitize them is key. I come here and go to www.flightlevel350.com (http://www.flightlevel350.com/) to help me when my mind starts going nuts with stuff from stories about planes.

Thanks for the link, I'll have to check it out. I just feel like everything I do is "for the last time ever", because my mind is almost 100% convinced that something will go wrong...I'm just hoping my mind is 100% wrong! I don't know how to get rid of these horrible thoughts. They will be there until that first plane has taken off.

[Passenger Mark]

I just feel like everything I do is "for the last time ever", because my mind is almost 100% convinced that something will go wrong...I'm just hoping my mind is 100% wrong! I don't know how to get rid of these horrible thoughts. They will be there until that first plane has taken off.

Oh geez... If I only had a dollar for everytime I would do that! I would be one rich boy!

I even went so far as to visit an attorney and have my will made out! Actually... it was something that needed to be done, but that Fear of Flying pushed it made me realize how tight the monster had a grip on me. At the time I thought about a living will... but dismissed it as I did not think it would be needed in a plane accident! How "out there" is that???

When I had lunch with a friend... I thought it would be the last time.
When I left my office... I thought it would be the last time.
When I put my pets in the kennel... I thought it would be the last time.
When I said goodbye to my family... I thought it would be the last time.

I would make sure that my house was in good order before I left because I did not want my family to deal with a mess.

Of course it wasn't the last time... I saw my family, friends, pets... and unfortunately my office again! And it was nice to return home to a house in order!

How to combat it? Just realize that even though it feels like the last time... it is not. It is YOUR mind playing games on YOU! Just like OUR minds have played games on US in the past.

[mik]

Mark, It's like you're reading my mind right now and the last 2 weeks... I'm still flying on july 4, and those thoughts are on my mind (aside from a few varaiations here and there)... I feel like the "omens" and my mind are in sync.. very scary....

[Passenger Mark]

Mark, It's like you're reading my mind right now and the last 2 weeks... I'm still flying on july 4, and those thoughts are on my mind (aside from a few varaiations here and there)... I feel like the "omens" and my mind are in sync.. very scary....


But Mik... If I have had some of the SAME thoughts and experiences... as have most everyone here... then it is NOT the plane... it is our mind playing games on us.

I can find omens for anything from buying a car to eating at McDonalds... IF I look for them!

The point it... if we have all done this... and were fine... then it ain't the plane... it is our creative imaginations! :thumbsup:
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[mik]

that's what I'm leaning on right now... thanks

[oceansolitude]

Yeah, I know, that's what I'm trying to focus on myself. My flight is early Sunday morning and I'm really trying hard to realize that I don't have the power to bring down a plane with my thoughts. I am just one individual. I have had these doom thoughts before, in other situations, and they have never proven to be true, so there you go. I need to stop looking for "omens" and "signs" and instead focus on the things I can control, and put my faith in trust in the pilots and control towers. If I'm about to ride a cruise, bus or train, I don't have all of these fears. I just hop on in with a good book and automatically trust the driver. And, heaven forbid, in a cruise in the middle of the ocean you surely don't have more control than you would in a plane! I don't see how flying should be any different. Maybe it really is the media that distorts it for us, and all of those sites like Airsafe.com, Airdisaster.com and Wikipedia articles about plane crashes don't help one bit. Where are all the sites with databases on car accidents? I guess there can't be such a site because it would require a HUGE amount of database space and dedication to keep it updated every second of every day, granted the sheer volume of car accidents that occur. Such a site would be seen as "pointless." Yet people STILL drive/ride in cars every day, without a single thought of impending doom.

Plane accidents, however, are so infrequent that running a website with a database of crashes doesn't require as much effort/time. Ironic really, when you think about it! :)

[WillFlyToDisney]

Have a great flight. Try to get some rest Saturday night and get to the airport early Sunday. Ask to meet the pilots and tell them you are a nervous flyer. Pilots LOVE to fly and talk about flying so their reassurance is by far the best medicine for uneasy passengers. :ray:

I think you hit the nail on the head with your observations - statistics on car crashes are astronomical. :(

[beeinatree]

Why don't you want to fly them? Yeah, I guess since they would have more flights than Delta or Southwest, AA is more likely to have problems...still, next time I think I'm going to fly with Delta or Southwest just for more peace of mind, even though I've flown with American often and haven't had problems...it's just that long periods of time elapse between my flights and I become fearful all over again. Sigh.



I think if you don't feel comfy with an airline, then avoid it. There is no problem with that. But its when you get to juggling them all, then there is a problem. Make a decision and stick to it. I know it is hard. But just put one foot in front of the other and keep going into your destiny. Who is to say it will be a bad one? It may be a glorious one.

I choose not to go on AA because my fear began on AA after 9/11. Most of my fear is empathic. I flew after the initial panic attacks I had from on AA to and from AZ to MA and I went to London again on AA a year later. Flew 16 hours on AA that time. It was the worse. I am almost haunted by the people who died. My imagination just runs wild. Well, I won't get into it. It is just terrible though.

So I started flying NWA. I felt a lot better. Is NWA safer? I don't know. But I don't feel as haunted. And I feel okay on Southwest. All my family flies Southwest actually. I haven't flown Southwest since my FOF began yet however, because I haven't gone on their routes I suppose.

But what really helped is reading Capt Stark's book. No joke. And also his forum. And reading about other peoples experiences. But mostly his book and some of the pilots here have described the mechanical aspects of the plane which I didn't understand, but which made flight make more sense to me and therefore safer.

Much luck,
Jenny
:)

[beeinatree]

Just one other thing. If the long lapses make you fearful, maybe you could make reminders for yourself. Like visit the airport for a little lunch. Or read a book related to flying. I have that problem too. I won't fly for awhile. Then all of a sudden, I'll be like, "OMG, I'm going to be flying!!!" Maybe a little lunch at the airport every now and then might remind you that people fly EVERYDAY.

Actually, I didn't try this exercise, but it just so happened before my last flights that my mom came to visit me. And my husband had some business trips. So I visited the airport a lot. And I really got the sense that SO many people are flying. It just put it in perspective for me. It was one of many things that made me feel better.


:)

[aerobat]

I don't know how to get rid of these horrible thoughts. They will be there until that first plane has taken off.

Ocean, Mik,

I'd like to suggest a method for getting a grip on the horrible thoughts, starting right now.

In the Links section on the main TF board, under 'Anxiety-Related' links, there is a favorite of mine called anxieties.com. If you click on this link

http://www.takingflight.us/links/view.php?cid=17&PHPSESSID=2ef8f66cc7f05226695f34b1a648076e

and scroll down through a short list of anxiety-related links, you'll see it. Jump in. :) You may not have time to investigate the whole site, but there is a section under 'fear of flying' where various strategies and techniques are presented. There are three there that, when used together, can really help people shut down the catastrophic images that tend to fill the days before we fly. These are:

Thought Stopping
Postponement
Worry Time.

Check them out. If you have questions about them or want some personal perspective, just give a holler. :)

One of the best ways to deal with Omens is with wit and humor. Let's remember that if we are truly psychics who can foretell the future, we should quit our day jobs and hang out a shingle. Who ever heard of a psychic who could only predict aviation mishaps and was otherwise clueless about the future? :confused: :lol:

We have all had those omens. :eek: They are phantoms. Write them down, with space after each, and when you get home (which you will!) make some notes after each one about what BS they were. :lol:

I believe it was Passenger Mark who said: "how can it be your plane that's going to crash if it's gonna be my plane? That's worth a good laugh, isn't it? ;) If not now, then just wait and see.

Omens, Schmomens...:cheers:

[oceansolitude]

Thanks y'all once again for your support/advice. I'm getting ready for bed as soon as I write this post because I'll be leaving in the morning. I'll provide a full report of my flights after I get back home in a week!!! Talk to you then!! :):sunshine:

[beeinatree]

Thanks y'all once again for your support/advice. I'm getting ready for bed as soon as I write this post because I'll be leaving in the morning. I'll provide a full report of my flights after I get back home in a week!!! Talk to you then!! :):sunshine:

Have a wonderful trip! :hyped: