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View Full Version : Mark, here's the site disclaimer you forgot.....


CaptainStark
09-15-2004, 02:21 AM
Disclaimer
This product is meant for educational purposes only. Any resemblance to real persons, living or dead is purely coincidental. Void where prohibited. Some assembly required. List each check separately by bank number. Batteries not included. Contents may settle during shipment. Use only as directed. No other warranty expressed or implied. Do not use while operating a motor vehicle or heavy equipment. Postage will be paid by addressee. Subject to CAB approval. This is not an offer to sell securities. Apply only to affected area. May be too intense for some viewers. Do not stamp. Use other side for additional listings. For recreational use only. Do not disturb. All models over 18 years of age. If condition persists, consult your physician. No user-serviceable parts inside. Freshest if eaten before date on carton. Subject to change without notice. Times approximate. Simulated picture. No postage necessary if mailed in the United States. Breaking seal constitutes acceptance of agreement. For off-road use only. As seen on TV. One size fits all. Many suitcases look alike. Contains a substantial amount of non-tobacco ingredients. May experience increased gas with fatty discharge. Colors may, in time, fade. We have sent the forms which seem right for you. Slippery when wet. For office use only. Not affiliated with the American Red Cross. Drop in any mailbox. Edited for television. Keep cool; process promptly. Post office will not deliver without postage. List was current at time of printing. Return to sender, no forwarding order on file, unable to forward. Not responsible for direct, indirect, incidental or consequential damages resulting from any defect, error or failure to perform. At participating locations only. Not the Beatles. Penalty for private use. See label for sequence. Substantial penalty for early withdrawal. Do not write below this line. Falling rock. Lost ticket pays maximum rate. Your canceled check is your receipt. Add toner. Place stamp here. Avoid contact with skin. Sanitized for your protection. Be sure each item is properly endorsed. Sign here without admitting guilt. Slightly higher west of the Mississippi. Employees and their families are not eligible. Beware of dog. Contestants have been briefed on some questions before the show. Limited time offer, call now to ensure prompt delivery. You must be present to win. No passes accepted for this engagement. No purchase necessary. Processed at location stamped in code at top of carton. Shading within a garment may occur. Use only in a well-ventilated area. Keep away from fire or flames. Replace with same type. Approved for veterans. Booths for two or more. Check here if tax deductible. Some equipment shown is optional. Price does not include taxes. No Canadian coins. Not recommended for children. Prerecorded for this time zone. Reproduction strictly prohibited. No solicitors. No alcohol, dogs or horses. No anchovies unless otherwise specified. Restaurant package, not for resale. List at least two alternate dates. First pull up, then pull down. Call toll free before digging. Driver does not carry cash. Some of the trademarks mentioned in this product appear for identification purposes only. Record additional transactions on back of previous stub. Unix is a registered trademark of AT&T. Do not fold, spindle or mutilate. No transfers issued until the bus comes to a complete stop. Package sold by weight, not volume. Your mileage may vary. This supersedes all previous notices. Repeat as necessary. Keep out of reach of children. Contents may be hot. Keep head and arms inside at all times. Dispose of properly. For external use only. Avoid contact with eyes. It is a violation of federal law to use this product in a manner inconsistent with its labeling. Close spout after use. Do not puncture or incinerate. Contents under pressure. If redness, irritation, swelling or pain persists or increases or if infection occurs, discontinue use and consult a physician. In case of accidental ingestion, seek professional assistance or contact a poison control center immediately. Intentional misuse by deliberately concentrating and inhaling the contents can be harmful or fatal. Do not spray while smoking or near fire. Products are not authorized for use as critical components in life support devices or systems. See reverse side for additional details. Do not write you Personal Identification Number on your card. Please retain this copy for your records. Unauthorized returns will not be accepted. Normal wear and tear of products or damage resulting from misuse, accidents, or alterations are not covered by this Limited Warranty. Within 15 days of change of name or address you are required by law to notify the Bureau in writing. This note is legal tender for all debts, public and private. Do not use if seal is broken or damaged. I can't believe that you are actually reading all this. Refrigerate after opening. We never use any fillers or artificial ingredients of any kind* except Oreo cookies and Heath bars. A copy of this deposition is being separately served to the defendant. Phenylketonurics: contains phenylalanine. The surgeon general has determined that prolonged exposure to high levels of radiation can be hazardous. Do not use this product with children under 6 years except under the supervision of a physician. May cause drowsiness. Do not use this product if you have high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, thyroid disease, asthma, glaucoma, or difficulty in urination. If you are pregnant or nursing a baby, seek the advice of a health care professional before using. This product has been shown to cause cancer in laboratory rats. For optimum performance and safety, please read these instructions carefully. Do not use the AC adaptor provided with this player for other products. Do not play your headset at high volume. If you experience a ringing in your ears, reduce volume or discontinue use. Do not use while operating a motorized vehicle. Prices stated are USA prices only. This page intentionally left blank. Video+ and Video- are at ECL voltage levels, HSYNC and VSYNC are at TTL voltage levels. DO NOT DELETE THIS LINE -- make depend depends on it. Not returnable if opened. Exchangeable only if defective. All rights reserved. Do not eat. Not a toy. Product contains small items which may be harmful if swallowed. Not suitable for children under three years of age.
:D

xiknal
09-15-2004, 02:34 AM
...and the no-see-ums for the dust mites...:D


did that list include 'DO NOT REMOVE THIS TAG under penalty of law'? I saw the part about Oreo cookies and thought I read it all...

0]

Chelle
09-15-2004, 02:38 AM
LMAO :lol Hey, what's wrong with Canadian coins? *ahem*

You might want to add a "Beginners Guide" posting guideline to that disclaimer...

uploads.ungrounded.net/18...osting.swf (http://uploads.ungrounded.net/188000/188612_Posting.swf)

CaptainStark
09-15-2004, 03:07 AM
Where the heck would this world be without lawyers?*
:eek

Without them, none of the hairdryers would read, "Do not use in the bathtub or outdoors." Or on the new steak knife box, "WARNING- KNIVES SHARP!"

(Big sigh)

Sorry to trash you board so early Mark but I wanted to get you off on the right foot.

Ray

* way better off!

xiknal
09-15-2004, 03:15 AM
that link is a hoot!

steam forum...that is perverse! :b

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beaugest
09-15-2004, 03:32 AM
Don't wrap the cords from the window blinds around your neck?
The question Ray is can you say all that in one breath? It was pretty impressive...
I think I'll hand that out all to my clients . Wait was there a disclaimer about copying the disclaimer?

Leslie
09-15-2004, 04:54 AM
Funniest warning I ever saw was on a bag of Southwest peanuts, and it was serious: "Warning: Processed in a plant that produces peanuts."

Passenger Mark
09-15-2004, 05:04 AM
Hey Ray,

I missed... "Warning some items may have moved during flight"

xiknal
09-15-2004, 07:05 AM
...another way to say " container may appear less than full because contents have settled during shipping"...

that's turbulence for ya... :x

0] green thing

WillFlyToDisney2
09-15-2004, 08:05 AM
Ah Ray, you crack me up!

Kelley

sengelin
09-16-2004, 05:48 AM
I negotiate security contracts for a living. I think I'll throw this disclaimer into the 6-point type that nobody reads at the end and see if anyone actually reads it. >D Incidentally, I'm not a lawyer. That's why people can understand most of what I write.

Sean