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KikiNJ
06-24-2005, 03:20 AM
Well, I decided not to go to Hawaii this year to visit my parents. I can't decide if it was the right decision, or if I'm making stuff up to justify why we shouldn't go when the real reason is my fear of flying. I've flown there about 12 times, 8 of them in the last 10 years, so it's not like I haven't done it.

My first thought process was, flying over the Pacific, what if there was an emergency and we needed to land. I've thought this thought before, but this time it was more prominent. Then I looked at flights on the dates we needed, and the only seats were in the back of the plane. Ick. Then there was the hysterical crying on my Vegas flight with DH 2 weeks ago.

Then I started thinking about traveling there with my 5 1/2 year old and 2 1/2 year old. The older one will be fine. The younger one... she's tough. 6 hour time change, I kept picturing her up at 5AM and us going to bed by 9PM b/c we were so tired. That's how it was when we went w/our older daughter when she was that age. The younger one is difficult in restaurants... we took her to Hawaii when she was 6 months, and one of us had to scarf down our food to take her out and walk her around. We took her to Disney at 18 months and same thing. At 2 1/2... much the same. And if I'm going to Maui I'm going out to eat fresh seafood every night, not eating dinner at my parents' place. Sleeping arrangements are tough, the little one isn't in a bed yet so we'd have to schlep the pack n play, not to mention her carseat since she's not in a booster. Her and her sister would share the spare bedroom, and husband and I in the living room on blowup mattress. Meaning if we're in bed by 9, my parents are stuck in their room from that point until my dad goes to bed at 2AM. If the little one is up at 5AM, or whatever time she gets up, she's loud... the older one was a pretty quiet kid, but the younger one just yells for no reason, and if both kids are up one of them is crying about something within 5 minutes. And no matter how much my parents insist that they understand, I know better and I'll be yelling at my kids to be quiet, and if mommy is grumpy then everyone is tense and edgy. Not to mention airfare is over 3K right now, and the thought of spending 3K to be exhausted is not fun LOL.

Plus, my parents have actually been HERE (staying w/me) since mid April, and don't go back to Maui until Aug. 3. Then we'd go out there 2 weeks later. Frankly, I think by Aug 3rd, we'll have all had enough of each other.

So because of all of that, we decided not to go, but to plan ahead and go as soon as my older one is out of school next year and spend the 4th of July there.

But is it really because of all of that? I mean, if my fear of flying were not existant, then we'd probably go, and just deal with the other crap. My husband has no opinion, when I ask him if he cares whether we go he says "it's not like we haven't been there, we'll just go next year when Abby is older and easier." So he's no help LOL.

On the flip side, we're kicking around buying a lake house, and by not going this gives us the opportunity to either spend a week at the lake and make SURE we want to do this, or take a week to go somewhere else that we wouldn't normally go b/c we'd be in Hawaii.

I guess I'm looking for reinforcement that I made the right decision not to go, whether or not it started with my fear of flying!

And if I'm not going to be flying until next June, I hope you don't mind if I stick around until then!

aerobat
06-24-2005, 04:06 AM
Hi, Kiki,

I have been in much the same situation...back in the "bad old days"...when I could not decide whether I was making up excuses in order to cave in to my fear of flying, or whether there really was a plethora of good reasons to not go.

It does sound like it would have been a major stressor for you to go this time, because of all the other factors you mention. But you might want to make the commitment to fly next year as soon as possible; it's a deal you can do with yourself in order to have the task front and center. Book those tix ridiculously way ahead, unless that's impractical. And in the meantime explore all the resources you can find (many available here) to tackle the monster before it ever has a chance to muddy your windows again. If you can move toward a nearer goal of a practice flight, once you have gotten to work on your FoF and have some tricks up your sleeve--that would be excellent. And it would help you reclaim whatever power you may have conceded to your FoF by not making the trip to Hawaii this year.

That recent trip to Vegas need not be your flying template from here on! You can get better at this, and one day just chalk that one up to your "bad old days". A lot of people here have succeeded and you can too. :thumbsup:

Barb

PositiveE
06-24-2005, 04:14 PM
Can you take a shorter flight sometime before you're scheduled to go to Hawaii next year to stay "in practice"?