Lets break her in - First "real" post!

[Passenger Mark]

Lets crank up the engines and get this bird (aka board) flying...

It can be about anything... maybe I will start off with why I committed to gettting rid of FOF, or at least working with it...

I have family in Nashville, New Orleans, Alaska, and London England. There was no choice for me, I had to fly, or confine myself to Southern Cal... No thanks!

Next!

[smokycmt]

I am from Philly and need to get over this FOF b/c I know if I don't, I will never live my life the way I want to.

I am 27, married, no kids yet and a proud aunt of 2 nieces, 1 nephew and 1 on the way!

I fear flying b/c I get claustrophic and panic attacks. I fear vomiting on the plane and embarrassing myself. I have been working pretty hard over the last few months to resolve...we shall see what the future holds :p

Christine

[CaptainStark]

Welcome Christine!

You have come to the right place. Many on this board have shared the same concerns about various anxieties as you expressed. Each has a story or a path to dealing with such issues.

When I am crammed into the window seat and start to feel a little cramped, I always look out side the window and thank my lucky stars I am on the inside. Outside, aside from winds that are three times what hurricane Ivan has blown on his best day, IT'S COLD!!! Even in mid-summer it can be 30-40 below zero. And most importantly, the oxygen content is not enough to keep me conscious. Suddenly, I begin to like my warm little cocoon.

To all on this board, a sincere "Thanks" for dropping by. Be sure to tell your friends about it. The more the merrier!

Ray

[xiknal]

I chose my name 'xiknal' because it is Mayan for ' flyin' '. I have a wacky sense of humor, speak two Mayan languages and write songs. I am an anthropologist by training, with interests in linguistics, psychology, human evolution and epidemiology. Most of my research is in the field of Mayan hieroglyphic decipherment and ancient Mayan grammar (it's really fun stuff, too!! :lol )

I am a former fearful flier who is now a flight instructor. I had it bad--was pretty much grounded for 30 years. I took good notes during the process of overcoming it with professional help eleven years ago. What a surprise--that it happened so fast...um, that it happened at all! Now I love to fly!!

I will be happy to share bits and pieces of the story as appropriate, along with suggestions, links, aviation info, and limericks.

I suck at haiku :x , but limericks are my forte. 8)

Congratulations, Mark, on this beautiful board!! May it take off into the friendliest skies on the planet.

xiknal 0] (friendly green winged lizard)

*

[Chelle]

Hi all, I'm Michelle, from Ontario Canada... close to Toronto.

I discovered last April on a flight from Toronto to San Francisco that I'd developed an intense fear of flying since I'd flown last, 9 years prior. I'd really like to overcome this, I have a lot of places I want to visit before I'm old and senile :D I'm making the same trip back to San Francisco in 3 weeks (this time solo), and I'd really like to do better this go 'round.

Anyway, thanks for the invite, Mark. I'm glad to be here :)

[DukeBlue02]

Hi folks- I've been reading posts for about a year now over at SOAR, but never posted anything, mainly b/c I didn't know if anyone would really respond. However, I have been helped tremendously, especially by Captain Stark's postings, and Mark's awesome trip reports with pictures!

Anyways, I'm flying Thursday morning from Raleigh, NC to Denver, and I'm really anxious. I did not used to be afraid to fly until last year when I got married, and for some reason flying drives me nuts now- it's like I can't shake it no matter what! I always find something to be afraid of, whether it is the plane's age or it looks old or it looks like it is going to fall apart even to worrying about terrorism. I have some Xanax this time (1st time using it), but am a little uncertain it will work on me b/c I'm a pretty big guy- 6'2, 200.

Mark- thanks for starting up the board! I look forward to participating!:D

[xiknal]

Hi, DukeBlue,

That handle must be connected with Duke University!

My first big breakthrough with my fear of flying happened right in your neck of the woods--in Chapel Hill. I can tell you more and give you a referral if you like.

I don't know if it helps you right now to know this--but your fear of flying may well be directly related to your getting married...at least it is a common association. FoF often develops in the midst of a big positive life change--marriage, birth of the first child, new job, promotion and so on. It may also develop in the midst of a negative phase--death in the family, divorce, getting laid off. In both cases it relates to an awakening of one's sense of fragility and vulnerability. This is more obvious in connection to, say, death and divorce--but marriage, children, promotion etc. present us with something new and precious. And we don't want anything to threaten that, and so we decide (often unconsciously) to re-evaluate the risks we take. We focus on flying because most of us don't do it often enough for it to truly become familiar. Driving--while considerably more risky than commercial air travel--is much more familiar. Have you had any change in the way you feel about driving on the freeway since getting married? This might be a place to start in terms of outsmarting your brain (which is what we fearful fliers need to do in order to win!) ;)

If you got a prescription for Xanax from your regular doctor, I assume that the prescribed dosage took your weight into account. But if you have any doubt, call your doc and ask! You might also want to try it beforehand to see how it affects the anticipatory anxiety; especially if you are having trouble sleeping, take it at bedtime. If it helps...it works! I had good response with it when I worked on my FoF years ago. It was a steppingstone and I soon was able to step beyond it. Perhaps you'll find this is also true of you.

xiknal 0]

[CaptainStark]

I can understand that.

Married only a few months, my sweetie had to fly from Tucson to ABQ for a couple weeks of training. I actually ran to a Mutual Of Omaha insurance box and filled out a life insurance form for her before the plane left the ground. I spied the wing leading-edge Kreuger flaps and thought some panel was open on the wing. (I wasn't a pro-pilot yet).

If there is an up side to your anxiety, it might just be that you made the best ****ed choice of your life and the thought of being separated from her is really troubling. There is definitely a good side to that!

Don't worry about what they look like. I had a perfectly good plane last month that looked like it had done a few atmospheric re-entries. I called our maintenance guys in Dallas and said, "Get this pig into paint!" The maintenance guys don't even see the paint as anything more than a corrosion preventative. I like it because it looks cool. In reality, some of the doggiest looking jets fly the best.

Relax --and give the misses a big hug when you get the chance.

Ray

[DukeBlue02]

Oh yes- I'm a Dukie through and through. If you've spent time in Chapel Hill, you probably know about how huge our rivalry is with UNC........I'm a Duke alum, but I'm now at UNC in graduate school....and my wife....yea, she graduated from UNC herself :D

Thank you so much for those posts Ray and xiknal! I definitely made the best choice of my life, and she should get even more kudos just for having to deal with me the few days before I fly each time b/c I'm always overanalyzing things and watching all the planes fly over our house into RDU. Now that you mention it, xiknal, I do regard driving differently now that I'm married- whenever the roads are wet I'm always holding on tight with two hands on the wheel and watching for puddles like a hawk- never used to do that before. weird. It looks like I shouldn't worry too much about my planes being run-down (not that any ever are)- I just checked and I'm flying a 737 to Charlotte, A320 to Denver and then a CRJ-700 from Denver to Raleigh on Sunday.....those last two are pretty new aren't they?

6am on Thursday is coming soon.....but I'm looking forward to spending time in Colorado for the first time ever

[cammie31]

"The doggiest looking jets" :lol . I know I'm going to think about that phrase next time I get on a jet that's in need of a paint job.

Duke Blue, I also flew with the help of Xanax for a while. One hint I pass on to you, if your MD didn't tell you how long before the flight to take it: My MD said I should take it as soon as they started boarding, so that it would be in my system and effective by takeoff. (I think she said it takes about 20 - 30 mins to start working). So I did what she said, but the dang stuff took a while to work -- don't know if it was because my fear overpowered the drugs, or because I'm just literally slow on the uptake. The flight was from Chicago to LA, and I'll tell you I was scared silly during takeoff, feeling no pain over Denver, and then, when we finally reached LA, all I really wanted to do was settle in on the baggage carousel for a good long nap... so don't take the Xanax too late. My current rule is that I take whatever psychoactive drug (legal, I swear) I'm prescribed about 40 - 45 minutes prior to scheduled departure. But good luck with the Xanax, I found it useful.

Anyway, I'm here because I'm a long term FOF. I work in entertainment, and it's an industry in which folks travel a lot. They practically live on the NY - LA routes, and I have a boss who in the last month has flown NY - Australia - China - Germany - London - and back to NY. So the guy flew around the world, and I can't get on a **** plane without thinking, "Okay, this is it. Now I'm going to die." And if I can't get over this FOF, I'm going to have to change careers, because if I don't learn how to integrate flying into my business life, I can't really advance any further. I took the SOAR course, I didn't find it did me all that much good (although I think I should read the materials again - and now I'm going to read Capt. Stark's book too). I have started forcing myself to fly, because part of me believes that the only way to get over fear of flying is to get up there and do it over and over and over, and I've managed three trips this year -- NY to Florida once (but I chickened out and took the train home), NY to Chicago twice. It may be getting a little easier, but not much, and I'm still thinking "Oh God, this is it...." every time we hit turbulence...

And then there's the non-business related reason I need to get over the FOF: there's a big world out there, and if I don't overcome this, I'm not going to see too much of it. There's only so far I can go in I-95 and I-80...

So that's my story. Looking forward to adding whatever I can to this board, and taking whatever help you all can offer!

Cammie

[Disney fan]

Hi Everyone.

Welcome to this new site that Mark has set up it is good to have you all here.

Captain Ray a special welcome, I was so glad when Mark said you were to help out. When Mark came over to UK he brought me your book , excellent bed time reading!!! I will be taking it on my flight over to Orlando in November.

I would call myself a recovering fearful flyer , I now manage to fly ok except in Turbulence.

Lynda

[eboon]

When I was little, I flew once to Florida. Didn't have a problem. Then I didn't fly again until I was about 25-26 and I flew to Indianapolis in a little puddle jumper. Getting on the plane was fine....but once I got on the plane, couldn't stand up straight and saw only about 20 seats altogether...I started to get a little nervous. Plus it was very windy coming into Indianapolis and it felt like the plane was flipping all over. That must have done it for me because after that....I didn't want to fly again. I then flew to New York and threw up a few times and had a problem looking out the window, plus it being March, it was icy/snowy out and that freaked me out a bit. I kept thinking the engines were going to freeze. And that was the last time I flew!! Now I've planned this huge 2 week cruise in the Mediterranean next June and that means a LONG flight over!! So I'm really freaking out and have decided to ask my Doc for some meds to 'help' out! But I have a ways to go before June so I pretty much put it out of my mind. But I know once June gets here.....I'll be breaking out in cold sweats and not sleeping! I know it!!

-erica

[flier72]

I flew several times between 13 and 29 with only mild anxiety. Sonetimes it didn't even bother me at all. Then I had a VERY turbulent flight while flying through a storm on my way to Florida. After that, over the next two years, my anxiety increased with each flight until now I sometimes wonder how I will talk myself into getting on a plane again. I know I have to because I live in Nashville, but all of my family is in Kansas City and also because I want to continue to travel for pleasure.

I noticed that on this board my name posts as an unregistered user, so I'll have to go register again. I may change my name when I do.

Anyway, it's good to see lots of familiar names here. Good luck to all in the quest to fly.

[firstimer01]

Well let see..I was going on vacation to Florida and well the only way i was gonna get there was to fly cuz the wife said she was not driving umpteen hours..so i was like ok...but still has so many doubts...then i did a search and found the "other" board and met all these wonderful people..and when i flew i felt like a vet like i knew what was going on...and they helped me conquer my fear...and now i feel like i can fly and im here to help out if i can..believe me i feel like i was the most paranoid scared person ever lol...now im ready for more flights....thanks for the board mark...keep up the great work i enjoyed your posts over "there" and i plan on sticking around here :D

[WillFlyToDisney2]

Ah, Nashvegas - I live in Brentwood, TN one week a month.

I'm a Bengals fan - pretty sure I am the only one! LOL

Kelley

[ericab]

firstimer01- What made you fearful in the first place? how many times have you flown now? Do you have any type of anxiety or anything when flying now?

[firstimer01]

i guess what made me fearful was that i had never done it and just well the usual you start thinking well since im on the plane it will crash..and well i was nervous more than anxiety unless its all the same lol and really scared and ive only flown once unless you count the connecting flights and the return trip home lol...i did fly without any meds so i was proud of myself for that one...and i really enjoyed it...hope that helps

[vesterr]

Ok first off, Duke Blue - I'm sorry that you have "Benedict Roy Williams" coaching your basketball team. ROCK CHALK JAYAHWK - GO KU! :) I was very happy when we made it further than you in the tournament last year hehe! OK - I'm just kidding around :) (but I do have a large animosity towards Roy.) haha!

I'm a fearful flyer - after I got engaged, I dont know what happened, and then 9/11. That says it all. I used to be on SOAR - until, well, the "mess." Now I'm here :)

Xanex: I use it. I usually pop it as soon as I start to feel anxious before I board. Thats just me.

AND...I'm flying 6 flights in the next month!!! I"m going to England and Italy with my husband, the coolest person on Earth!!!

What else? Oh - I live in Kansas City, MO and I'm 33 and been married 2 and a half years. Im an attorney and work for the US Dept of Labor for stuff like Enron - helping people with pensions/health plans. And I also went to graduate school for theatre/film. So, after that I went and did stand up and improv for a while. :) But then realized I didnt want to eat ramen noodles my whole life haha! so I went to law school.

Whew. Ok - enough about me- whos next??

Vester

[xiknal]

I just wanted to check in with you. I know you are in the middle of that anticipatory hell :evil right now (there! I got to use that li'l devil) and so I hope you are hanging in there OK.

You are flying out of RDU, so, psst... here's a secret fact about it: it is a wonderful, friendly, special, magical, lucky airport, even though it looks like any old Class C airport. It was my destination on my first breakthrough flight after being grounded for 13 years, and a month later I departed from it knowing I would never, ever be grounded again. In the meantime I had several sessions with Dr. Reid Wilson, an anxiety therapist with a private practice in Chapel Hill. His website is here:

www.anxieties.com/ (http://www.anxieties.com/)

You may already know about him and the site, but if not, check it out. You may find some info and strategies that will help you get ready for your flight tomorrow.

I helped set up the joint Duke/UNC program in Conversational Yucatec Maya (under the Latin American Studies umbrella) and taught the course at UNC (four hours a day for four weeks) from 1992 through 1998. In 1992, I took the bus roundtrip from Austin, TX (where I live) to CH. It was exhausting and shameful, and it was in the wake of that trip that I decided to look my FoF demon in the eye and get help. In 1993 I made the flight, and thereafter, I did some determined work and busted out of the cage forever.

Anyway, if you find yourself awake and on the board tonight, give a holler; some of us are night owls and some are on the west coast, so perhaps a chat could be set up.

But...you ARE going to get to Colorado and back safely (you lucky dawg, she says, sweltering in the muggy Texas heat)...that's a promise!!

0] Barb

[DukeBlue02]

Wow guys- thanks for all the support!! One thing to clarify though, Vester- I may be in grad school at UNC, but I'm a Duke man through and through- I was pulling for Kansas big time in the tourney this year (2nd to Duke of course), b/c I myself am not the biggest fan of Ol' Roy and wanted Kansas to show him they didn't need him- good thing they did!

Anyways, thanks again Barb- yes, I'm definitely in the freaking out/anticipatory hell stage at the moment- I'm trying to keep busy with things around the house (like I haven't packed yet, and I keep straightening the house), but as the night wears on.....it keeps building. But I will definitely be on the board off and on until late tonight....support is welcomed- I'll return it someday I promise! Unfortunately, I usually schedule my flights really early in the morning and I always end up staying up late the night before- I keep hoping that one of these times I'll be tired enough to actually sleep some on the plane (perhaps this time thanks to Xanax), but who knows.

Wow! I can't believe you actually took a bus from Austin, TX! I can see how that can get someone to decide to conquer this fear! When I get back I may have to check out the therapist you named- I haven't seen a therapist about my FOF, in fact, I did not get Xanax until two weeks ago, and only then b/c when I flew to Chicago back in May, my wife said that I HAD TO try something b/c I was a crazy person to fly with! I had ended up making her scared, and she loves to fly! So, with that, I asked my MD for Xanax, and now I'm gonna try it out.

I hate take-off, and basically tense up the entire flight, especially when the plane turns at all- every time it turns I just envision it never levelling off again.....

but, I LOVE landing, and when I get off the plane, I feel like I conquered the world! :lol

[xiknal]

Duke, I hope you are sleeping soundly with sweet dreams of Colorado in your head, and that you wake up confident that this is going to be a good day to fly.

It would be neat if you decided to call Reid Wilson when you get back home. He had an amazing effect on me during our first session. I wrote pages and pages of notes after all those sessions, and in between...it's all recorded--a detailed account of the most amazing thing I ever did for myself. If you do see Reid, please tell him Barb from Austin said hello! We've stayed in touch occasionally after I stopped teaching at UNC. I once took him up flying in a Cessna 152 over Chapel Hill--what a gift to give back to someone who helped me make the big leap!

Yes, that bus trip was the last straw!! I had hoped to fly in 1992, and boxed myself into a corner about it, then knew I couldn't do it, and there was no time left to drive (and sleep, that is...). But that gave me the resolve I needed to kick its ars*, (er, no obscenity :o ) the next year.

Passenger Mark also has good stories about that kind of motivation.

We'd love a trip report when you get back. Take notes during the flights if you want to...and no need to make it seem anything it isn't. Even if it's stark whiteknuckled terror, we want to hear about that, too.

Beating the fear is about pulling a series of fast ones on the trickster which has hijacked our emotions... but we are a coalition of the kickbutts and we will prevail (this is not a political statement! :lol )

xik 0]

[RosieEarl]

I live in Sheffield, England, and developed FF over a two year period after a very turbulent flight home and aborted landing in freak gales when coming back from skiing in Austria. Prior to that I had loved every aspect of flying and we had been to the US loads of times on holiday, including my wedding in San Diego.

I had vowed never to step foot inside a plane again until I discovered the "other Board that shall not be named". As a result of all the helpful tips, inspiration and support from the folks there, and a minor contribution from my GP who prescribed some beta blockers for the flight, I successfully flew to Venice for my 50th birthday in June.

I'm now looking forward to booking another flight to build on this. I regard myself as a "recovering flyer" and although I don't think I'll ever be totally happy about it again, I'm determined that it won't stop me going places.

Oh and by the way, I'm also a golfer so I'd just like to say to any other FF golfer friends in the US - may the best team win this weekend (so long as it's Europe!). Only kidding - we have to let you win sometime and sadly this time I have a feeling that you just might :lol

Rosie

[vesterr]

Ok I'm sorry. But I just cracked up at that...

"the other board that shall not be named." I could totally see that coming from like a Monty Python Sketch or something haha!

And I'm glad Dark Blue that you like KU :) I'm a die hard basketball fan :) Oh...and A HUGE FAN OF THE CHIEFS!!! hehe.

Vester

[ericab]

Yeah! we have some football fans!! :D I'm a diehard Detroit Lions fan (I tend to get alot of ribbing...) and a U of M football fan (yes....Notre Dame spanked them last weekend...). I'm a Tony Gonzales fan also. :)

-erica

[flier72]

Go Chiefs!!!!!

[vesterr]

Woo hoo!

Are you from KC flier72?

Vester

[flier72]

I lived near KC all my life until I moved to Nashville five years ago. I miss it sometimes. I like Nashville quite a bit, but KC feels like home. And I will NEVER give up my loyalty to the CHIEFS!

[vesterr]

I actually live relatively close to CHEIFS Stadium :)

When the fireworks go off we can hear them (even though we are miles and miles away!) haha!

Vester

[Flier72]

What a small world! I used to live near Blue Springs, Mo. - pretty close to the stadium too. Although not close enough to hear the fireworks! Do you have season tickets?