What does a Recovered FOFer look like?

[PositiveE]

Is it kind of like being an alcoholic taking it one day at a time? Are you always in recovery..... taking it one flight at a time?

For those of you that have NO problem with flying, but used to... what is it like for you now?

[StPeteMark]

Is it kind of like being an alcoholic taking it one day at a time? Are you always in recovery..... taking it one flight at a time? For those of you that have NO problem with flying, but used to... what is it like for you now?
WONDERFULL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! From planning to airport to take off to cruising to landing, it's now a wonderful experience. After 15+ years of being grounded prior to 2003, I now have an abundance to choices and destinations. I had to work to get this far; and I have to maintain my tools and education. I wouldn't relate it to an alcoholic, it's more like riding a bike...once you learn, it's hard to forget. My last flight on Mother's Day weekend, it was just a normal thing to do...no worries or anxieties...just enjoy the ride. My only apprehension now are the taxi rides between airports and hotels...now that's another adjustment! :)
Mark

[PositiveE]

Thank you Mark. You truly give me hope. My FOF has fluctuated over the years. I just don't want to think that some day I will be "grounded for life".

I accept the struggle to get to that place of healing, I just always want to be headed in the right direction. :)

[Lynda]

I can't believe how things have changed.

I did not fly for 10 years and then I spent many years terrified even though I did force myself to get on the plane.

I sometimes get a little pre-flight anxiety but am okay once I get to the airport.
( maybe it is excitement)

The only thing I don't like is Turbulence and that is because I get motion sickness.

[Passenger Mark]

FREE!!!

Free to see family...

Free to see friends...

Free to see places that I have only read about!

BUT... it has caused a big problem... I now have to figure out how to pay for all these trips!

P.S. It is a evolving situation. You do not just wake up one day, and no longer have FOF. Like anything else, it takes practice. That is why I tell folks to book some cheap day trips. Short ventures. The more you do it, the more comfortable you will become with it.

[Jeff California]

I was never really "grounded", I just drove 2000 miles instead of flying:lol:

Mark- lets plan a trip to Tahoe. Stay in a casino on state line. Fly into Reno and rent a car.:thumbsup:

[Passenger Mark]

What does a recovered FOFer look like???




Well.....


Here is a recent photo...




http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v132/mark9091/Admin/goofy.jpg


:rolling::rolling::rolling::rolling::rolling:

[Passenger Mark]

Oh no!!!!

Ken and I are thinking on the same wavelength!!!!!

Somebody help me... (or him)!! :eek:

[PositiveE]

You guys --- I am sitting here at my desk at work laughing hysterically. Ken, I love your Recovered FOFer. I think I'm going to have that smile painted on my face just like his all the way to Orlando and back. It will remind me that I'm a Recovered FOFer! :thumbsup:

[jesgooch]

A recovered FOF looks like me :)


4 years working on it and bunches of flights later...planning a trip halfway around the world for 3 months in 3 countries with one backpack.

Now, if I could just get over the fear of being a passenger in a car...any website on that?

[aerobat]

I used to think that it must be very much the same for everyone. But it's not. It's hard for me to imagine (without humor :lol: ) a group of Twelve-Step FoFers meeting once a week to stabilize their recoveries.

Hi, my name is Barb and I am working on my Fifth Step this month...I am apologizing to God for believing he had a S#!t List and I was Number One on it :cry: , apologizing to all the people I lied to about my fear and to the people I made travel overland with me thousands of miles, apologizing to pilots :ray: everywhere for believing they were all reckless wacko daredevils who didn't care if they lived or died...

hmmm...maybe this would work!!?? :confused: :mg: :tongue:


The shape our recovery takes is affected by many things--most especially what sort of people we are in general. Some recoverees feel that there is no cure, that this is an ongoing process and that we will always be engaged in it. My view has been that there *is* a cure (and I am cured) but that we will still always be different! Maybe that is a difference in definitions, and maybe it's just a difference in who we are.

My own experience of recovery was initially dramatic and fast. It was not an overnighter, but there was definitely a breakthrough flight (my first one in 13 years) that put such big cracks in my phobia that I knew immediately that everything had changed. I knew it on the plane :sunshine: , because I had never before felt like I belonged up there. Still, I was worried that I might be wrong, that I might be blindsided by the monster that had had me so buffaloed for 30 years...but no, it turned out I was absolutely right and I found that out forthwith. I was sooo lucky :nod: to have the support and wisdom of two excellent FoF shrinks right after that first flight and during my next dozen, which happened over the next three months. Because of who I am, when I saw the open gate and the path out, I jumped into recovery like a religious zealot; it consumed my waking experience. I went around mumbling "this is amazing!" and felt blessed and bathed in grace. It wasn't just about flying; a lot of other baggage was tangled up with my fear and it was all lead being turned to gold.

It took me about a year and maybe thirty commercial flights during that year to stabilize, get past the radical jones to be up there at FL300 and the withdrawal when I was not, convert all the fear to excitement and then habituate to the excitement such that flying became more or less normal. I also learned to fly during this time and took up aerobatics--a good place to put the excitement.

That was 11 years ago and more than 200 commercial flights ago, and I have been a pilot for those 11 years (because my zeal took me straight into flight training) and a flight instructor for seven years.

If you were my seatmate on an airliner (but didn't know me) you might notice me smiling a lot. I gaze out the window during takeoff and initial climb because I am like a little kid who is still wowed by the beauty and power and sensuality of it. I always get window seats when I can, and I look outside a lot--not to make sure the horizon is still where it belongs, nor to keep the plane upright with my mind (I used to do this y'know) but simply to delight in the geographer's paradise. I sometimes try to get seatmates to look out, too, so matey, you might think I'm weird. :rolleyes: Or you might let your kid play with my kid as we gaze and point and chuckle together (had a great time doing this with a friendly seatmate over the bazillion oil well scars of the Permian Basin on my recent flight to LA).

I still get just a tiny bit tense during approach before touchdown. I used to hate this part of a flight the most. Now, I find myself wishing I were in the cockpit jumpseat with the forward view of the runway and half an eye on the gauges and knowing the approach speeds. Then, I would be absolutely comfortable with it. But it's a minor issue, and no anticipatory anxiety is stirred over it at any time, and it never grows into something bigger.

I am immune to air rage and extremely patient with long lines and airport security hassles, cancelled flights, misplaced luggage etc. Stack all of that up against long distance bus or car travel and there is no comparison. I traveled extensively--all overland--when I hated to fly. I will never forget how wearying and stressful it was.

I am also pretty much immune to a return of FoF. I understand it too well. I have learned to beat it and that's that. I know this because I have had four engine failures in flight in little airplanes--the most recent being about a year ago when I had to land in a cow pasture. I had to do some deliberate desensitization and deprogramming, and getting right back in the air was part of it. It worked. It wasn't even that difficult, and did not demand all my reserves of courage--just a little of it.

I appreciate air travel too much to ever really be "normal"--if normal folks are bored and jaded and easily annoyed with the hassles. I have never been normal and I ain't startin' now. :rolling:

I still feel blessed.

Barb

[PositiveE]

Barb -

You said... Still, I was worried that I might be wrong, that I might be blindsided by the monster that had had me so buffaloed for 30 years..

Wow, I can really relate to that. Your post gave me so much hope. There really is a light at the end of the tunnel. I have been making some great progress with my FOF, but when I'm feeling confident I really do worry that I might be wrong and start to go backwards.

[StPeteMark]

...but when I'm feeling confident I really do worry that I might be wrong and start to go backwards.
OK, when that happens, bend over and kick yourself in the butt and say NO, NO, NO, that negative thought is NOT for me...and then toss it in the trash can so it will no longer be in your mind. Giving yourself tough love, if and when a minor setback occurs, really works...has for me for many years. You can do it cause you're "PositiveE"!!! :)

[StPeteMark]

...BUT... it has caused a big problem... I now have to figure out how to pay for all these trips!...
We can take brown cardboard signs and stand at the end of the Interstate Exit ramps - "Help Me Get Off the Ground" :lol:

The bank account has taken a hit this year, but flying trips have partially taken the place of being a concert junkie since 2002. During this period, we were seeing many the groups we missed over the years and seeing multiples of Gloria; in the past six months, we've only be to a few. With flying now an option, priorities have changed. Now, I'd rather allocate my resources to going (flying) to places I/we've never been in my/our life and always wanted to. Recently being at the Statue of Liberty and the Empire State Building were childhood dreams come true for both Susan and me. :hug:

[kallieb]

Wow Sean,

What you just wrote is a keeper for me. It really puts flying in a whole new perspective. I'm printing this off into my keeper file.

thank you very much