Christmas trip report... The one that started it all!

[Passenger Mark]

Howdy yall,

Well here it is my trip report. You do not know how long I have read this board and the trip reports of others, and waited for the day I could do this.

I do not know how much detail you wanted, so I decided to include everything I could remember. Since this is going to be long, I am going to break it down into five posts, one for each flight. Unfortunately I did not get all the names of all the great SWA folks involved, but Southwest Lynda in Ontario is helping me retrieve the ones that I don't have.

Finally before I get started, I have to tell all of you, that without you, there is no way I could have done this. I had built myself such a wall, that I was almost unable to tear it down. You guys are so great! What a team!

As you know, I was scheduled to fly out from Ontario on December 23rd. That morning was oddly calm for me. I wondered when "it" was going to hit. Drove to the airport, and got in the long line to check my baggage. While in line I received a call from Lynda, ALL THE WAY FROM THE UK! What a treat! When it was my turn to go up to the counter, I met Southwest Lynda, who it turned out is a supervisor. I handed Lynda my Captain Tom Letter, and after she read it, she said "we will take good care of you" She checked my baggage, and wrote a note on my ticket jacket advising that it was ok for me to pre-board. She also advised me that the gate agent would be Reachel, and that she would be waiting on me when I arrived at the gate.

I went through security, and was actually pleased with the professional manner that they conducted their job. While going through security, Captain Steve called me, and we talked about how things were going. After going through security, I made my way down to gate 404. On my way to the gate, I saw a Southwest Pilot going into the news stand. I asked him where he was flying to, and he said "Nashville... want to come along?" I asked him if it was the flight going out of 404, and he said yes. I told him that I was scheduled for the flight, and I handed him Captain Tom's letter, He read it with interest, handed it back to me, and asked me what part of flying did I have a hard time with. My answer was basically all of it, at one time or another. He said "well I don't know what to tell you, I have been doing this for thirty years since I was 28 with no problems". He told me to come see him in the cockpit once I was on board.

I went on to the gate, met Reachel, who was very nice. She advised me where to be waiting, and that she would take me down to the plane before boarding anyone else.

I had some time before I had to be at "my spot" so I grabbed a fish sandwich from the Carls Jr., called Bonnie, called my folks, and basically prepared to go on board. I still had a very calm feeling about being where I was at and kept wondering when "it" was going to hit.

Bonnie and I joked about how everyone else thought I was an employee or air marshall. You could see that look on their face, like "I wonder who he is????" Now came the time for me to go with Reachel to the plane. Once on board I met the flight attendants, and then went up into the cockpit and met FO Cameron, and Captain John. I had already met Captain John at the newsstand. While I was in the cockpit my cell phone rang, and it was Ms. Bonnie! I said Bonnie, I am in the cockpit! I handed the phone to FO Cameron to prove I was actually in there! I heard FO Cameron tell her that they were going to take good care of Mark.

Captain John, FO Cameron, and I talked about flying, the 737, the new instruments, the heads up display, etc, etc, etc. It came time for me to go sit down, but I stood in the galley with the flight attendants for a while.

This is when it started. I got the feeling that this is for real. You are actually going to fly on this thing. OH MY GOD, WHAT HAVE I GOTTEN MYSELF INTO? I spoke with Bonnie on the phone, said I was getting nervous. Bonnie said breathe, breathe. I said yes... breathe in the butterflies, blow out the bumble bees.

I said I going to hang up and go ahead and take my seat. I went and sat down, but we still had a few minutes before pushback. I got out of my seat, and went and stood on the jet way for a while. I asked Reachel how long we had till push-back. Two or three minutes... OH NO, OH NO, This is it. It is not next week, tomorrow, in an hour, it is two to three minutes. I went and sat back down... back up I went, stood in the galley this time, now back out on the jet way. Back to my seat, and then right before they shut the door, out I went. One of the flight attendants came out, and told me it was going to be ok. I tried to go back in the plane... but I knew if I went in the door, I would be trapped! But what about Christmas, what about my parents, family, the kids, what about all my friends at Soar cheering me on. I felt like an animal being cornered, like some sort of wild animal pacing in its cage! I finally said please hand me my carryon, I can't do this.

With that, I walked about half way down the jet way towards the terminal, and leaned up against the jet way wall, and slid down in a crouched position. My head was down in my hands as I heard that "garage door" sound of the jet way door closing, and felt the jerk as it backed away from the plane. I called Bonnie. Me: Bonnie..... Bonnie: Mark... Me: Bonnie I am on the jet way, I got off. Bonnie: Has the plane backed out, can you get back on? I turned to the gate agent that closed the jet way door and asked if the plane had backed out. It had, it was too late. I called my parents and told them.

Then Reachel came back down, and said why don't you come back tomorrow and try it again. Now it is a little fuzzy as everything seems like a dream at this point, but I do remember agreeing, and at some point called Bonnie to tell her I was going for it the next day. Called my folks and told them the same thing. Reachel said she was going to be off the next day, but was going to call in to see how I did.

Reachel told me to go back downstairs and see Lynda, and she would re-book my flight for tomorrow. As I came downstairs and towards the counter, I saw Lynda, and she gave me a big smile. I began feeling better. Ok, this was a set back, but that was all. I could still salvage this. Lynda gave me my new ticket, and told me to come see her the next day, as she would make sure I made it to the gate, and everything would be ready.

As I walked back to my car, I remember finding it in the parking lot, and thinking, I didn't think I would see it this soon! My cell phone rang, and it was Mark. Wow! How cool! He said that today was the practice, and tomorrow would be better! I thought about going back to the office, but was really drained, and went on home. On my way to the house, I stopped at the Wal Mart to pick up something to fix for dinner (nothing was in the house since I was not suppose to be there) While in Wal Mart I saw where they had Season Two of King Of The Hill on DVD!!! One of my favorite shows. I picked it up for the flight.

The house was very odd. No kids, no dog, no cat. I felt like I was not supposed to be there. I felt out of place. After all.... I WAS! I tracked the flight I was SUPPOSE to be on, and of course it landed safely in Nashville.

Went to bed early, for the next day.

December 24 - Christmas Eve

Got up, and I was more nervous than I was the day before. Called Bonnie, called my folks, called Captain Tom. They all said it may be good that I was feeling more nervous. Drove to the airport, parked the car (after I was rear ended at the gate)

Other than being rear ended, everything seemed very similar. Hmmm wonder why! Walked into the terminal, and went up to the counter where Lynda was. She spotted me, and said, alright, you all ready to do it today? Yes I am. She told me to go up to gate 404 (again) and see Salina. Went back through security, and went to the gate and met Salina. Very nice, and told me where to go, and be ready to go to the plane.

Went and got my fish sandwich from Carl's Jr., and went back to the gate. While sitting there, I met Captain Zack who was flying to Oakland to begin his day. My cell phone rang, and it was Bonnie! We chatted for a while, and then I called Captain Tom.

While I was in the gate area, I also met a mother and her son flying back to Nashville. They were great people, and we talked about Tennessee. Jeremy is 12 years old, and a great kid, who just happened to like NASCAR! I never told them that I had a fear of flying. Then came time for me to go to the plane. As I came on board the plane, one of the flight attendants met me. She said not to worry, she said I had the same look on my face that she had when she went to the dentist! They told me that this was going to be a great flight, only 77 people on board, room to move around. When I was at the gate I looked out at the plane. It was a brand new 737-700. Was painted up in the new Southwest colors, and it had winglets! WOW A NEW PLANE!!!!

I went up in the cockpit and met the Captain. The FO was out retrieving food! The Captain was great, had me come up and sit in the FO's seat, and we sat there for what seemed like a long time and chatted. We talked about the weather, flying (told him I flew 172s), terrorist, you name it. He told me we were going to be fine, maybe a little turb going over northern Texas due to the jet stream changing, but other than that, no probs. The FO showed up and the two of them talked and laughed. You could tell that they loved their job.

I went back out of the cockpit, and stood in the galley and spoke with the flight attendants. When I had picked my seat, I chose a window seat on the first row. Since there were only 77 on the flight, they had held the seat next to me to give me more room.

While I was in the galley, one of the flight attendants came up to me with Jeremy with her. She said he wanted to know if it would be ok if he sat with me. I said sure no problem. Someone to watch King of the Hill with!

Then here it came again, that feeling. I went to my seat, and called Tom. We talked about what I was feeling. We were getting ready to go. I had to hang up. I got out of my seat and went and stood on the jet way. One of the flight attendants came out and asked if I was ok. She said go back and talk with the Captain again. I stuck my head in the cockpit, and he asked me what was wrong. I told him what if I loose it up there? have a heart attack? He said no problem; we will just turn around and land. BUT won’t we be too heavy with all the fuel??? Normally yes, but since we have a light load, if I have too, I can come back. But that won’t happen, you will be fine. I went back to my seat. I thought WHAT IS WRONG THIS TIME, let’s see....

A great Captain

Fantastic flight attendants

A BRAND NEW 737!

Only 77 on board

And to beat it all, some kid who thought I was some kind of hero!

Come on Mark you can do this! NOPE, back up I went, I told the flight attendant that I was going to have to get off. Five minutes to push back. She told the Captain. I saw his head drop down a bit, and then he turned around and said, Come on Mark, you can do this. The gate agent (not Salina) came on and said we have to push back. The flight attendant took me out on the jet way, held my hand, and said you are going to be fine, and THEN the Captain came out and put his hand on my shoulder and said you are going to be fine. Everything was happening really quickly. At some point we were back at the cockpit door talking. They were all trying so hard. They really wanted me to do this. But then a supervisor came on board and asked me to come out on the jet way. He said he really wished that they could help me ease into this, but the plane had to push back. I said ok, I will do this. Everybody but me was happy again. But as I turned to the door and started to go through, I grabbed the sides of the opening, and said please give me my carryon. As the flight attendant gave me my bags, she said please come try again one day. They all looked so disappointed.

I walked out the jet way, went across the hall to the pay phones and slumped next to the phones, put my head in my hands, and proceeded to make my calls again. Not much of a conversation with either Bonnie or my folks. Just "I got off the plane". I have never felt that low in my entire life. I felt like a complete failure. At some point while I was on the phone, one of the gate agents had placed a refund voucher on my bags. Now I felt... EVEN Southwest was giving up on me! What a sick feeling. You know, there were a lot of thoughts running through my head...

What about Christmas
All the Soar folks
My parents
Jesse
My nieces and nephews

The one really scary thought, and it was REALLY SCARRY... I am NEVER going to be able to do this. I am going to be confined, and imprisoned to the ground forever!

And I thought about that good Captain, and flight attendants. But you know what really broke my heart was Jeremy. I am sure he moved to another area of the plane, but there he sat by himself, this guy he admired, walked right off the plane! For some reason, this kid that I had never met before that day affected me hard. I mean, what did he think, hopefully the flight attendants told him what was going on.

After sitting by the phones, I got up and gathered my belongings. As I walked away, Salina called out to me and said, "We need a number to call you at home for when your bags arrive". As I wrote before, I have no idea why, but my response was "Don't bother, I wont be there".

Back down stairs I went to the counter to get my refund processed, Lynda saw me coming, and stepped out from behind the counter and gave me a hug. She said how sorry she felt, that I had given it a good try. She said, have you ever thought about Amtrak, maybe a bus?........

Now this is when everything gets really kind of weird...

My response was "Lynda, get me on a plane, I don't care where, just anywhere that I can connect through."

She looked kind of amazed, and said, OK! While she was typing away on the computer, she said you know maybe this will be the trick, maybe that one big flight was too much, maybe you need to break it up. While she was typing away, she called out to one of her coworkers who came over, she said "Call Nashville, don't send his baggage back, hold it, he is going to try again!"

Ok, we can get you into Phoenix, connect to Nashville. The flight to Phoenix leaves in an hour, this time it was not gate 404! ha ha. She said head on to the gate, I will tell them you are coming. My dumb question... "Do I have to go through security again?" ha ha ha, of course the answer was yes!

I called Bonnie and my folks and said I am going to try again, they are going to route me through Phoenix. I quickly gave them the flight numbers. I told them both that in a couple of hours I will call them from Phoenix, or from my home. One or the other, no promises.

Went back to the stairs going to the gates. The same agent that had checked my ID and ticket before checked it again. You know what really gave me some comfort? He remembered me from when I went through before. Questioned me why I was coming back through again. Told him I felt ill before, and they had re-booked me. Good enough, off through security.

At the gate I met my contact, and then went over and stood by the window and looked at the plane. From behind I heard a voice saying... "So you are going to try it again huh?" I turned to find a Southwest Captain standing there. I said yes. At first I thought he was the Captain for the flight, but he introduced himself, and said he was done for the day and was heading back home to Salt Lake. He had been told about my situation, and volunteered to fly with me.

When it was time, my Captain friend and I walked down to the plane and picked our seats. He introduced me to the pilots, and the flight attendants. We sat in my favorite spot, front row, I had the window seat, and he had the aisle. Empty seat between us. We talked about flying, pilots, Southwest, and yes... terrorism. I looked across the aisle and there was a seeing impaired passenger with her Seeing Eye dog at her feet. The dog, a mix breed, was about 50lbs.

Before I knew it, the door was shut... I WAS IN MY SEAT! We were backing up... I WAS IN MY SEAT! As we backed out, I looked out the window and there stood Lynda and Salina on the jet way. They were watching as the plane backed out, and then caught me looking out the window. They gave me the thumbs up!

The ground crew began unhooking the tow, and I started breathing too fast. "Captain Angel" gave me an air sick bag, and told me to breathe into it. It worked, but then a full blown panic attack hit, I don't remember much, but I do remember him saying... "They haven’t started up the other engine yet, I can tell them to go back if you want". I remember saying no! I don't really remember taxing, but I remember turning onto the runway, and the engines coming up, the thrust. The faster we went, my anxiety started slowing down. As I felt the plane leave the ground, I looked over at Captain Angel and said... I'm flying... I'm flying! He gave me a high five!

Most of the time when a plane leaves Ontario East to West, and is going south (Phoenix, Texas, etc) it begins a left turn almost as soon as it is in the air. We did so on this flight. Started going over Chino, Chino Airport, Corona, Lake Matthews, Hemet, etc. I was so nervous, but excited at the same time! I was pointing things out that I had seen from my Cessna, and things that I had seen so many times on previous flights before.

As we gained altitude we began hitting some turbulence. The more turbulence we hit, the more my Captain friend would talk! Ha ha, I knew what he was up to! Before long we were at cruise, and the seat belt sign came off.

I was doing it! Oh wow... look out the window see the world go by. HEY! My Soar friends are tracking me now. Imagine how happy they are that I am in the air! Oh wow, oh wow, oh wow, I am flying, this is a dream come true. I was scared to death, but so excited at the same time. The anxiety would come and go; mixed in with excitement, wonder, and thrills, from the lowest I have ever felt, to now the highest! And with all this going on, guess what I did???? You guessed it, up and to the bathroom!

Went in the bathroom, looked at myself, and said... "You are doing it"; “You are in the air"!

As I came back out of the bathroom, and headed back to my seat, the seeing impaired passenger said to me that her dog did not like flying either. That she thinks the turbulence is earthquakes. She handed me the leash, and said take her over there with you, and yall comfort each other. Wow! I love dogs! So I took her over and she lay down at my feet, she was nervous, but I told her it was going to be ok. She did not have too much belief with my advice, and soon wanted back with her Mom!

Well, in no time we were starting our decent, the anxiety was almost completely gone. Captain Angel started pointing out some landmarks. I did not know that there was a nuclear plant east of Phoenix! He said, "you see that one single cloud in the sky over the plant?" said, that there was always a little cloud over the plant!

As we made our approach, the gear came down, flaps, yep everything is good. Gee, I feel so good, soooooo good! And what a sweet little landing, so smoothe.

As we taxied to the gate, I could not thank Captain Angel enough! But I asked if he could do me one more favor, is there a way to get a message to flight 545 on its way to Nashville to let them know I did it! He told me he would try; he would make some calls and see if they could do something.

As we were leaving the aircraft, the Captain and FO were at the door to see how I did. I thanked them for the great landing, and for getting me there safely. I gave them a copy of Captain Tom's letter. (I made copies to leave with each crew)

I walked into the Phoenix Airport a totally different person than I had been earlier that day. I thanked Captain Angel again, shook hands, and made my way to my next gate. At the gate I introduced myself to the gate agent, and he already knew I was on my way there. Lynda had called from Ontario! While we were at the gate talking, the phone rang, the agent said yes, he is here, he is standing right here. The agent handed me the phone. It was Captain Angel! He told me that they were able to send a text message to flight 545 on its way to Nashville. He said they now know you flew to Phoenix! He said that should make them put down their newspaper for a while! ha ha.

I called Bonnie (I AM IN PHOENIX) I called Captain Tom (I AM IN PHOENIX) I called my folks home... Dad answered... "Dad, I am in Phoenix, I leave for Nashville in a few minutes". My Dad could not contain himself, all he got out was "We will be there!"

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December 24 - Phoenix to Nashville

When I arrived at the gate, the gate agent knew I was coming, and told me where to come back to, and that he would take me down to the plane, and introduce me to the Captain. I had some time so I grabbed a hot dog and lemonade. I think it is important to try to keep something on your stomach, especially if you are taking any kind of meds.

The gate agent was cool, kind of one of those fast moving kind of people. Always hoping around. Anyways it came time to go to the plane, and he took me down and introduced me to the Captain. I gave the Captain his copy of Captain Tom's letter. He invited me to come up and sit at the FO seat. Again, the FO was out gathering food!

We sat there and talked for a while, and then it was time to get going. I met the flight attendants, two males, and one female. They were young, around 23 -25. They did not seem very interested in my plight, and it actually did not bother me, because I knew I had done it! Just let them do their jobs, poor things, having to work on Christmas Eve and be away from their families. I probably would not be too interested either!

I took my seat, back in the same one as before except this time on the right side of the aircraft. The seat beside me was empty, and on the aisle sat a schoolteacher. We chatted for a while as they prepared for take-off.

Wow, no feeling that I wanted to jump off the plane, I wasn't shaking, or even nervous. Maybe I was just worn out, or maybe it was the drugs, who knows.

They shut the door, and right before they were going to back up, a woman came up from the back with her carryon. She told the flight attendant something, and he put his hand on her back, and started opening the door. Wow, that was me. I wanted to jump up and say "DON'T GO", but it all happened so fast, and she was gone! The gate agent that had walked me down to the plane, came back down the jet way, and looked in and saw me sitting there. He gave me the thumbs up! I am sure he thought it was me getting off the plane. With that, the door shut, and we started to back up. I felt so bad for my mystery fellow fearful flyer. Why didn't I jump up and go after her!

We taxied out to the runway, I thought about all you folks tracking me and what you may be saying. We rolled out on the runway and held for what seemed like forever. I kept thinking, "go, go, go" before I change my mind, before something happens. We rolled down the runway, as we left the ground; I thought here I go again, WOW, WOW, WOW two takeoffs in one day! I looked out on Phoenix as we left, and thought about Leslie, I wonder what part she is in? Then I thought about how she has made this same takeoff, and what she has thought of.

As we climbed out, it was fairly smooth. I think we took off to the west, and made a slow turn back to the east.

At 10,000 feet, the double chime went off, and the flight attendants said it was ok to use portable devices. Then that anxious feeling came over me. You know the one, that electric shock, dizzy, kind of feeling. I was thinking, "I have to do this for three hours!" What if, what if, what if! Oh no, I am on the plane! I cannot get off! I did not let it get a hold of me. I started my stopwatch so I could break the flight up into little pieces just as Captain Tom had taught us. Ok Mark, lets take this one hour at a time. Hmmm, that didn't work. Ok Mark, lets take this 1/2 hour at a time. HEY, WAIT!!!! I have my King of the Hill Second Season DVDs. They are about 30 minutes long. Ok, get out the DVD player, and the first episode (Something about Bobby learning to shoot a gun). Let’s see now... there are four episodes on a disc. By the time I watch all of them; we will be getting ready to land. Uh oh turbulence... its ok, just bumping down the road... JELLO JELLO JELLO! Ok I have the DVD out, loading, headphones on, BUMP BUMP BUMP... Its ok, watch the show.

While the first episode was playing, the Captain turned off the seat belt sign. I shut off the DVD player and got up to use the bathroom. As I took off my headphones, I heard a little voice behind me go "oh shoot, he turned it off". I turned around and there was a little kid who had been watching between my seat, which was reclined, and the middle seat. He was traveling with his grandparents. I told his grandmother, if it was ok, when I got back he could come up to the middle seat and watch the player with me. She smiled and asked him if he wanted to. Man that kid jump out of his seat quick! ha ha

Came back from the bathroom, and sat back down, plugged in the headphones and watched the next episode. Ok, two down, three, four... Get out the next DVD. I never really got super comfortable, as we were in and out of turbulence the entire flight. Nothing real bad, just bad enough that the Captain had to turn on the seatbelt sign. I would check my stopwatch from time to time to see how much time we had to go.

Every time he would turn on the seat belt sign, it seemed like forever before he would turn it back off! When is he going to turn it back off?!?! I know that when it is off, I am safe. Hey wait!!!! I am safe no matter if it is on or not. Come on Mark, sit back, breathe, and watch King of the Hill. Oh gee, my Soar Buddies are going to be mad at me for not watching Finding Nemo. However, I needed that time break. Each episode that went by, was one little part of the flight that was behind me.

Then as we got closer, I kept waiting to hear the sound of the engines cutting back, knowing that was the signal we were about to make our decent, and that I had almost made it. Come on, when is that engine going to cut back, I am already on disc 2, episode 5 and according to my stopwatch it should be anytime. Hmmm is something wrong??? Oh come on Mark, it is fine. A little while later I heard the sound I had been waiting for, the engines cutting back, OH WOW!!!! "DING" - We have begun our initial decent, need to put away the DVD player. Seat backs up, tray tables up, etc, etc, etc. My TV pal thanked me, and went back to his seat.

Ok, Seat up, I have no tray table! DVD player put away, all set. There is that feeling I wanted as I could tell we were descending. Looking out the window seeing the lights become more and more. Coming in over Nashville now. I can see neighborhoods now; some folks really decorate for Christmas!

There goes the gear, flaps, yup everything is good. A nice and smooth landing, honestly did not even know we were on the ground until the front gear came down. Everyone around was commenting on how smooth it was. One of those landings that I love in my Cessna where the tires just meet the pavement!

Slowing to a take a taxiway. As we taxied to the gate, Nashville obviously needed to re-pave their taxiways because it felt like we went through some ditches! Everybody was laughing about how smooth the landing was, but the taxi was hell!

As we approached the terminal, the usual announcements came on. Then everyone on the plane said "sing, sing". The flight attendant said he couldn't sing, so everyone in the front of the plane started singing "We wish you a Merry Christmas"! We were singing all the way to the gate!

At the gate! Oh wow! I had done it. I flew TWICE!!!!!

It just did not seem real. I gathered my items and headed for the jet way. I poked my head in the cockpit and thanked the Captain and FO. I asked who landed the plane; the FO turned to the Captain, and said that was his. I commented on how well he did, and wished them a Merry Christmas.

Out in the terminal I called Bonnie. Bonnie answered, excited because she knew where I was. I said "Bonnie... THE EAGLE HAS LANDED" ha ha

I forgot it was chat night, and she said everyone was in there following my flight. What a celebration. I then called Captain Tom! He obviously was in chat also, again he told me about the excitement in the chat room.

As I walked towards security, I saw my family waiting on me. ALL OF THEM! ha ha! My niece was first to get to me! Wow! What a Christmas, earlier that day I thought I would never see them!

I called Bonnie and Captain Tom again so they could each talk to my Mom!

We went to Southwest Baggage office where my lonely bag had been waiting on me! Picked it up, and went on to the car. It was late, I was worn, but had to stop at Waffle House to get some grits!

What a Christmas Eve, at the Waffle House, eating grits, and being with my family.

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Nashville to Houston - December 27, 2003

After arriving home, I stayed on a natural high for the next several days. This was the best Christmas I have had in my entire life. What better gift to receive than to get one's life back!

On Friday, December 26, 2003, I began getting nervous, thinking tomorrow this time I will be flying again. I let the "what ifs" creep back in. I had been watching Fox News with my Dad, and of course they were talking about the heighten terror alert, the Air France flights which had been cancelled, etc, etc, etc.

I called SWA Reservations and spoke with Margo. I explained my situation, and was looking for a way to get around that four-hour flight back to California. Breaking it up before really helped. Margo looked up my information using my confirmation number, and said she was reading the notes. GEEZ!!!! They have notes on me! Must be as long as these trip reports! Hope I did not overload SWA's server!

Margo found flights going from Nashville to Houston to Phoenix to Ontario, but explained because of baggage transfers there may be a problem. She explained that if I would talk with the folks in Nashville they might be able to do something.

Instead of waiting until I got to Nashville to talk with them, I called them on the phone. I spoke with Lisa in Nashville, she confirmed the flights, and said to get to the airport two hours early so they could work out the details.

I went back in with my family, happy that I did not have to take that one long flight back. THEN, here came the "what ifs" again. WHAT IF... I was meant to go on that one flight, and I had some way doomed myself by changing things??? Oh no, I have now tripled my risk. We all know that take off and landings are the most dangerous part of flying! I talked with my Dad about it, and in his typical engineering/pilot logic said, Son... yes technically you have tripled your risk, but flying is so much safer than anything else, EVEN with taking ten flights a day! He said we were in more danger driving to the airport in Nashville than I would be in the rest of the day. I KNEW he was correct; I had just let my imagination get away with me. Not going to do that again!

December 27th we drove to the Nashville airport. I took an Ativan before we left as it is a 1 1/2 hour drive. Once at the airport, I introduced myself at check-in, showed them my "Captain Tom" letter, and asked to speak with Lisa. They called her on the phone, and in a few minutes Jamie came over. She said Lisa was busy, but had told her what was going on, and would take care of me. Again, as before they were all great! Before too long my bags were checked, and Jamie gave me my tickets, and wrote "Angela's" name on the jacket. She said that Angela would be at the gate, and knew I was on my way.

My family was waiting on me, and I could tell they were concerned. I think they were more concerned than I was! After all, I had done this twice already, and broken the code! I asked Jamie if I could get a pass for a family member to go to the gate with me, which they did. I told my family I could take one to the gate with me, but it had to be the one that would be the least emotional! ha ha

Went through security, when they checked my id and ticket, the guy yelled out "TSA". Oh geez, I had been selected for screening! What if this makes me late for the plane??? If not everything goes off as planned, I will be in trouble!!!! OK MARK! Knock it off! They checked my bags, me, my shoes, my belt, but soon enough cleared me, and thanked me for my cooperation.

I went up to the gate and asked for Angela, she said, "That’s me"... "Are you Mark?" Yep that’s me... "Well we were just about to page you... You ready?"

With that, she introduced me to Jerome who was to take me down to the plane and meet the crew. Jerome was like the person in Phoenix... one of those fast moving, go-getters! You could tell he loved his job! He said give me a minute and we will head on down. I gave my family member a hug goodbye (not going to say which one so not to embarrass them!) ha ha ... and down the jet way I went. Jerome had two of us in tow. Nick and me. You guessed it! Nick was about 10 years old, flying alone back home to Houston. I do not know how all these kids kept showing up; maybe they were angels in disguise!

Nick had a small cooler with him, and I asked, as we were going down the jet way if he had packed his lunch. "Nope, I am diabetic". Oh wow Mark; you sure know how to put your foot in your mouth! Nevertheless, it did not seem to bother him, just normal stuff! I admired that in this little kid!

Once on board I met the flight attendants, which were of course, nice! The seating configuration was as that in the older SWA aircraft. In the front, three seats facing backwards, to three seats facing forward. I took the window seat on the left side of the aircraft facing forward, and they put Nick right beside me.

After getting my seat, I went up and met the Captain and FO. They were pleasant, and interested in my situation. Said that it should be a smooth flight all the way, nice day to fly.

Went back to my seat, and talked with Nick for a while. He was heading home to his Dad. Said he loved to fly, and wished he could do it more. I pulled out my DVD player, and got it ready to go at 10,000 feet. Asked Nick if he liked King of the Hill. Of course he did, he is from TEXAS! Jerome popped back in, and asked me if everything was ok... "Sure we are about to watch King of the Hill!" He said great, and have a good flight.

The other passengers began loading. "GOING TO BE A FULL FLIGHT TODAY" I heard as they were coming on board. A lady sat next to Nick on the Aisle, and two men sat facing me, one at the window, one on the aisle, and as usual the center seats are last to go. THEN, a suspicious looking man sat in the center seat across from me. Do not know why he looked suspicious, just that Adjuster instinct kicking in. Something just was not right. He was about 20, about 6' and around 230 lbs. He was very nervous, kept looking at everyone boarding, and his legs kept bouncing.

So I started making small talk, first with the person across from me. "Going home, or is Nashville your home?", in a boring tone he said he was heading home. Next... to my suspicious passenger... "Are you from Nashville?" He just gave me this blank stare! NO ANSWER, then he started looking around the aircraft. The man sitting across from me looked at him, then at me, and shrug is shoulders, like "Oh well".

Ok, what if... what if..., OK MARK... what if; well if he is what you are imagining, then he will have a hard time doing anything with three men sitting around him on a full flight!

The plane began backing up, unhooking the tow, engines coming on. Here we go. Yes, it is crowded; yes, there is a suspicious person (to me) on board. But you have what you need inside to make this be ok.

I kind of dreaded the taxi out because I know in Nashville it can be long. I just wanted to get on with it. Let’s take off!

Soon enough we had been cleared, and were speeding down the runway. I felt fine, Nick was looking out the window in complete awe, and he was having a great time! Look at that! WOW... LOOK AT THAT.... I think I can see my aunt's house! We turned to head south. From time to time, I would glance over at my suspicious passenger. He was not doing anything other than looked very nervous!

We completed our turn, and hit 10,000 feet. "DING DING". It is now ok to use approved portable devices.
(By the way, before I forget... can anyone tell me what a cell phone in "airplane mode" is) They kept saying that you could not use your cell phone in "airplane mode". I did not want to sound like a bumpkin asking anyone on the plane!

Pulled out the DVD player, loaded up King of the Hill, headphones on, and started episode six.

The Captain was right, smooth flight. Real nice and smooth. Before long, we were going over the Tennessee River, then the Mississippi River. Not a cloud in the sky. Felt good about everything except the crowded plane. And come to find out my suspicious passenger was a college student who was terrified to fly. His biggest fear... TERRORIST! Geez did I not feel like an idiot. Nick watched King of the Hill while I talked with my NOW fellow fearful flyer. Shared experiences, and told him everything was going to be fine.

About an hour and half into the flight, I actually fell asleep! ME SLEEP ON A PLANE! I have not done that in SOOOOO long! Did not sleep for long, maybe fifteen minutes, but that was the best nap I have had in a long time!

I kept watching outside. I love living in California, but I sure do miss the green of the South. It is so beautiful, even in the winter.

As we approached Houston, I could see a cloud layer developing, and soon the ground disappeared to fluffy white clouds. Just a sea of what looked like cotton. Nick broke away from King of the Hill long enough to look out the window, and gawk at the clouds, then back to King of the Hill! ha ha

I was just about to settle in for another nap, when I heard that sound, which usually meant relief... the engines cutting back. MAN!!!!! I was just getting settled in!! Now we have to land! WHOA!!!!! MARK... did you hear yourself????

Sure enough, I felt the plane descending. "DING" we have begun our approach into Houston... Time to put away the DVD player, seats up, still have no tray table!

We started descending towards the sea of cotton. The clouds were closer and closer, and I knew that when we went into them, there would be some turbulence.

We were about to land on the clouds! And as we descended through them, there was the anticipated bumping around. But it was ok. We broke out of the clouds, but the bumping did not stop. Hmmmm, suppose to after you get out of the clouds!

As we descended closer to the ground, I could see the Texas and American flags in front of some buildings. The flags were straight out! Now we were really bumping around! The flags were straight out because we had wind! Ok, it will be ok. This guy knows what he is doing. I could tell by looking at the flags that we were flying into the wind, so I did not expect that we would be making any turns. Must be coming straight in.

Closer, closer, bump bump, closer, closer, bump bump. Before long, I could see the outskirts of the airport, and the bumping started settling down. The landing was kind of bumpy... BUT FOR WIND it was perfect!

Wow, a bumpy ride down, and I was just fine. My clothes are NOT drenched from sweat, my heart is beating normal, hmmm... this is kind of nice.

We slowed and taxied to the gate. The aircraft inched to a stop at the gate, and "DING"... everyone jump up!

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December 27th - Houston to Phoenix

Other than the first flight out of Ontario, this was the most difficult, but also the one which made me realize that I really did have it in me to do this.

In looking back taking three flights in one day was a good move. If I had taken one flight from Nashville to Ontario, and that flight was great, i.e.: great crew, great plane, great weather, etc... Then I would not have been challenged.

The flight from Houston to Phoenix threw several hurdles and challenges at me, starting out with turbulence on take-off. As I had just landed in Houston, I knew that the take-off and the climb would be bumpy.

After landing, I went to the gate for Phoenix and met the gate agent. Unlike my flight from Ontario, no one had called others down the line to advise of my situation. Nor did I expect it, and in fact was glad they hadn't as I wanted to do this on my own.

I spoke briefly with the gate agent, showed her my letter, and she was very cooperative. She advised that she would provide a pre-boarding pass, and when it was time, I could go on down to the plane. She would make sure I could meet the pilots.

I made my "status" calls to Bonnie, Debbie, Parents, and Captain Tom. I was a bit nervous about the anticipated turbulence on climb out, so I took another .5mg Ativan about an hour before takeoff.

The plane arrived, and unloaded the passengers. This was my signal to go to the gate and wait. The gentleman working the gate looked at me and asked what I needed. I showed him my pre-boarding pass, and he looked me over like "so what’s wrong with you?" He said; well move over there, I will let you know when it is time to go. I thought to myself... "I am already standing where I was told to". But I moved to my new designated location.

While waiting the pilot came up and approached me, said something like "so you are my nervous flyer". He told me about his experience, safety, how good the 737 was, etc. With that he went on to this aircraft. Although he was not as "friendly" as some of the other pilots, I could tell he was a military pilot, and that there was NO WAY he was going let anything happen on his shift! Sometimes for me, being just plain spoken is best!

The gate agent signaled me on, and as I gave him my boarding pass, he gave me another look, so much so I told him that I really did need to board early. He just nodded and said ok.

Once on board I met the flight attendants, I could tell this was busy flight, was going to be full. I know all of you have experienced it on all airlines, where you can tell and "feel" that they are in a hurry to get loaded and get on out. I am not sure, maybe we were late.

While we were waiting they changed out the seat bottom of a seat across from me. Someone had gotten sick on it. OH GEEZ! GREAT! The bumps must be worse than when I landed!

The aircraft had the same configuration as that on the flight from Nashville, seats facing each other. I took the window seat, front row, facing forward on the right side of the aircraft.

After getting my seat, I stuck my head in the cockpit, and said hello again to the captain. I think I asked about the weather, don't remember for sure. But I do remember his response... "Well if you go and sit down, we can finish our pre flight and get on out of here." Ok... I can take instructions... like I wrote, sometimes being plain spoken is best.

I just wanted to take my seat, and get out of everyone's way. There was NO WAY I would walk off this flight. This guy would most likely put me in jail! ha ha

My other passengers joined me. A very large man sat beside me in the middle, a lady sat on the aisle. The man's son took the aisle seat facing me, and a husband and wife took the middle and window seat across from me. The man, and his son spoke Spanish, and it did not appear they spoke English.

As we were waiting to back out, I began to get nervous. Geez, this flight seemed really cold. The pilot was cold, gate attendant thought I was a stowaway, flight attendants seemed tired and busy. I dug around in the magazine holder and pulled out an airsick bag, in case I was going to do one of my fast breathing stunts. The man sitting across from me saw this, and in an alarmed voice said, "You don't get airsick do you?" ... "No, I am just a fearful flyer, helps me to breathe into the bag sometimes." He started snickering, and said, "Well you are not going to freak out on us or anything are you?" I just look over at him and said no; just might freeze up, but no bouncing off the walls. He shook his head and then went back to what he was doing. I continued to look at him, thinking "I know where I would like to stick this bag if it was medically possible!"

This guy pissed me off so bad, I just thought to myself... "Mark, show this idiot with bad manners what you can do!"

We backed out, and taxied to the runway. Before long we were heading down the runway. The climb out was not as bad as I had imagined. It was a little bumpy as we went through the clouds, but before anytime at all we were above the clouds, and I was looking out at that sea of cotton.

DING DING! 10,000 feet... I got my DVD player out, and set in for my next King of the Hill episode. Two of the ladies, one sitting across from me, and the one on the aisle facing forward started talking about rocks, minerals, or something like that. The man and his son were talking to each other in Spanish. Mr. rude dude was just sitting there.

After we were above the clouds, the flight was very smooth. One of those times you did not even feel you were on a plane! I started watching King of the Hill, and FELL ASLEEP AGAIN!

You know how you can have a bad dream, wake up, and for a few split seconds you are not sure if the dream is real, and then when you realize you were dreaming, it makes you feel better?

Well, it kind of happened in reverse for me. I woke up to the plane bouncing around, must have started while I was asleep, because the seat belt sign was already on. I was disoriented from just waking up, and my heart was pounding! I sat up, put my DVD player and headphones down, and just looked around. A couple of passengers were going "whew", "Ohhhhh"! We were really bouncing around. Still waking up, I kept waiting for him to climb out of it. Hmmmm, no increase in the engines. Why isn't he climbing???

My heart was really pounding now; I thought it was going to explode! I really made a mistake, most likely from be awoken by turbulence, I started the what ifs... What if the plane drops, what if I have a heart attack. I panicked I got up out of my seat, and headed to the bathroom. The flight attendant said "where are you going?... You have to go back to your seat!" I went on in the bathroom, and said it will not matter if my heart explodes! I sat in the bathroom, with my head down, bouncing around. In there I calmed myself down. MARK... JELLO, JELLO, JELLO! It is a problem for you, not the aircraft! Yea right, why is he not climbing out of it! MARK... THINK, it is ok, but if you don't get back to your seat, you could get hurt!

I got back up, and opened the door. The flight attendant was standing right there. "Sir, are you ok?"... "Yea, I just don't like turbulence!" RIGHT THEN a big bump. I just dropped down to a crouched position against the wall. She put her hand on my shoulder and said "I know it is rough, but we will be fine, however you REALLY need to get to your seat!" I looked up at the passengers. They were bobbing around, but just sitting there reading magazines, acting like nothing was going on.

I got up, and told her sorry, I know you are right, and went back to my seat, buckled in, and just sat back and closed my eyes.

As we kept bouncing, the Captain came on and announced we were in clear air turbulence. There was nowhere to go, as it was being reported at all altitudes. He said everything was fine, and we should be out of it in about five or ten minutes. That helped a lot! Now at least I had an idea how long this was going to go on.

The flight attendant came over and asked me if I was ok, she turned the air nozzle towards me. I sat back again and closed my eyes. HEY WAIT!!! This is a great time to try a new technique Captain Tom had taught me!

Ok, ok, focus on something in front of me. There it is, a spot on the bulkhead. Now, while looking at the spot, pick five things that I see, now five things I feel, and now five things I hear. Now, do it again, but four things I see, four things I feel, four things I hear. Now three, now two. Before I knew it, I was calm again, and we were still bouncing around.

I looked back over my right shoulder out the window. I could see the wing, and the engine. Wow, they are just sitting there, bolts are not flying out! Now look out at the ground, its not blurry, or shaking around! Hey, we are going to be fine, I am going to be fine! The bumping subsided, and then disappeared. The pilot came on and said it appeared we were out of it, and he was going to turn off the seat belt light.

I took the opportunity to get up and find the flight attendant and thank her. She was in the back sitting down. I thanked her, and apologized. She said no problem, it is just when we are in turbulence they can't have passengers up. About then the turbulence started again. She said in fact, you should be seated now, that she had no idea why the seat belt sign had not come back on. And then... "Ding", it came back on. I told her I was heading to my seat!

When I climbed back in my seat, Mr. Rude Dude said "we figured you would be coming back" Man... I would really love to put my boot somewhere!

The rest of the way to Phoenix we were in and out of turbulence. However, I was fine with it, just rode along. From time to time I would look out the window at the engine and wing. Yep... still there and doing fine!

Then came my signal... the engines cutting back... "DING" we have begun our initial decent into Phoenix. The decent was smooth. Nice clear night as I watched the lights increase flying over businesses and neighborhoods. There goes the gear, flaps, yep all ready. Nice approach and landing. We taxied to the terminal, and once again the aircraft inched its way to the gate. "DING" everybody jump up. I did not even say anything to my fellow passengers, just grabbed my stuff, and made my way to the jet way, ready for the next, final flight!

My toughest flight was done. Crowded plane, rude passengers, cold crew, older plane, and TURBULENCE! But I had done it!

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After landing in Phoenix, I found my next departure gate for Ontario. The Phoenix Airport was kind of empty, or at least it was compared to Nashville and Houston.

Came off the plane, looked my flight up on the monitors, and went to the gate. The gate agent was there, and I asked if he was working Ontario, "Yes, are you on the flight?", Yep, and I handed him my Captain Tom letter. He read the letter, and said there would be no problem in going down to the plane and meeting the Captain. With that, he handed my tickets back with my boarding pass. I had a little time before boarding, so I walked around the terminal, and made my "status" calls.

Walking back to the gate, I saw the Southwest Customer Service booth, and dropped in to ask for the address of Customer Service so I could send my compliment letter. The gate agent I had met earlier was in there, and remembering me, he said "your flight is late", "does not look like you will depart until 9:10 PM". I asked if it was in the air yet, on its way to Phoenix. He typed away on the computer, and said "yep, already on its way." They gave me the address I wanted and I went back to the gate and sat down. Found an outlet to plug my phone, and DVD player into, and started watching a movie.

While I was tired... REALLY TIRED, I felt good, I thought about taking another Ativan, as by the time I got on the plane all the others would have worn off. I decided to try this one solo; I also wanted it out of my system by the time I drove home.

As the time came closer, another gate agent came up. I went up and introduced myself, and showed her the letter. She was like many of the others I had met, again one of those fast moving, go-getters! She kept saying how cool it was that there was a program like this out there! "No problem" she said, "We will take you right down there when the time comes".

When the plane arrived, and the passengers started unloading, I went to my designated spot. The gate agent came over and about the same time, two pilots showed up. She asked them if they were the crew for the next flight. "Nope" one of them said, "just heading to Ontario for our flight tomorrow." She said, "Well, I may as well introduce you to Mark" She went on and told them about me, the program, and the two, soon to be three flights I had been on. Whether they were or not, they acted interested, and asked me how it had been going. My response was good, but I sure am tired. One of them laughed and said, "You have almost flown as much as us today!"

I still felt good; the only thing that was bugging me was that this was the last of the flights. If anything were going to "get" me, it would be on THIS flight. This would be the last chance for the "demon" to attack. For a brief moment I let the "what ifs" get in. What if, I had pushed my luck too much today??? What if fate was out to get me??? Everything had been going so good, something was bound to happen. I quickly put it out of my head. This is a flight like any other... just because it is your last flight for the day, does not make it special, or out of the ordinary.

It was time to go down and meet the pilots. Once on the plane I was relived that it was a newer model. I was not relived from a safety aspect, but that it did not have that seat configuration where the seats were facing each other! Took the window seat, front row, on the right side of the aircraft.

My go-getter gate agent found me, and took me up to meet the pilots. The Captain was in the cockpit, and the FO was in the front galley. She said, "This is Mark, he is in the SOAR Program". She said to me "Show them the letter!" It was kind of funny; she was excited about all of this! I handed the letter to the FO, he read it, and said he had heard about it, and had seen some articles written by, or about Captain Tom. Both the Captain and FO were informative, and friendly. Said it was a great night to fly!

One of the flight attendants asked if there was anything they could do. I told her about one time when I was anxious on a flight, they had me pass out the snacks to keep my mind busy. (Some of you may remember that story) She said, "great, once the seat belt light goes out, we will have you do that".

I took my seat, and my fellow passengers started boarding. Sitting next to me was a husband and wife. He was sitting on the aisle, with his left leg extended. His foot had a cast on it. I asked if they had been skiing. Both laughed, and he said no, did it dirt bike riding. Pointing at his leg, he said he was having a good time until this happened. Good folks and fun to talk with.

Once again, a warm flight. Great folks to be around. THEN the Captain came on the PA. Apologized for being late, said they had mechanical problems in Chicago, and it had made them late. ------------------------ UH OH ------------------------ Mechanical what? ---------------- hmmmmm ------------------ Wonder if they fixed it?????????????

Then I thought, "You know what? Neither the Captain or FO would risk their life’s, or their family's future flying something that was not safe." As quickly as it had entered my head, it went right back out.

There goes the door, I did not even pay much attention to it shutting as I was talking with my neighbor about dirt bikes, quads, places to ride, etc.

We began backing up, unhooking from the tow, and taxied out to the runway. We roared down the runway, with a nice graceful takeoff. I looked out the window at the Phoenix lights. Thought about Leslie and Bonnie again and how many times they had seen this same view.

DING DING, we had reached 10,000 feet, and I saw the flight attendant getting the snacks ready. The climb was nice and smooth, just an occasional, minor bump here and there. A little while later the seat belt sign was off, and she asked me if I was ready.

Sure, I got up and went to the galley. Passing out the snacks, this time, was not so much to take my mind off flying, but a celebration to me. While my fellow passengers had no idea, I felt like I had conquered the world. Also, this was my way of saying "Thank You" to Southwest and their employees.

As I took the basket of peanuts and crackers down the aisle, I decided to have some fun with it, and joke around. I would come up and ask folks, "Steak or Chicken?" They would look up, and laugh, STEAK! Some would say, while others would say CHICKEN! If they said Steak, they got the bag of crackers, Chicken; they got the bag of peanuts! Before I got to her, one woman exclaimed SHRIMP! I dug around in the basket, handed her a bag of peanuts, and said, "You got our last one!"

When I reached the pilots that were deadheading, they gave me a look, like... "What are you doing up!" I said, "I have to pay for my ticket somehow!" They laughed, and took their steak and chicken. (They got both)

By the time I got down to the middle of the plane, everybody was laughing and having a good time! It was great, I felt great! The flight attendant in the back asked me if I would do his section also. SURE!

When I was in the back of the plane, we hit a little bump. Nothing major, just enough to wiggle around a bit, and I had to lean against a seat. Hmmmm, NOPE.... Not going to get me! Just kept handing out my imaginary steak, chicken, and SHRIMP!

Once at the very back, I went back up the aisle, and made sure everyone had enough. As I was coming up the aisle, I could see lights out the left side of the aircraft. It was Palm Springs! "Wow" I said as I leaned over towards the left, told the passengers sitting there, "that's Palm Springs!" I told them to look at that light about halfway up the mountain. "That's the tramway going up Mt. San Jacinto."

I went back to the front, and handed the basket back to the flight attendant. Smiling she said Thank You, and I sat back down.

My neighbors sitting with me said, "You must work for Southwest". I said, "Nope, just have a lot of friends that do!"

As we approached home, I could look out and see the Indian Casino near Banning. Before long, we were going over Redlands, and then I could see the lights of Highland and San Bernardino. I looked at the lights of North San Bernardino and thought about the poor families that had lost their lives in the mudslide just a few days earlier.

The ground got closer and closer, and landmarks became more distinct. Now we were along the 10 Freeway, and I pointed out to my neighbor the California Speedway. We crossed over the 15 Freeway, and I thought about how many times I had traveled that freeway, looked up at the planes coming in, and wondered if I would ever fly again.

Over the industrial park, Haven Avenue, the outskirts of the airport, and finally a nice smooth landing. We quickly slowed, and pulled off the runway. Taxied to the terminal, and pulled to the gate.

DING, everyone up! I was home! I had done it! I really had done it! MAN AM I TIRED!!!!

The gate was near, or may have been, gate 404. As I walked out of the jet way, and out into the concourse I thought about how not too long ago, this was a place of fear, despair, and anxiety. I walked pass the pay phones that on Wednesday I had slumped next to and called Bonnie and my folks. What a lonely time that had been, and how much has changed since.

As I passed security, I saw a TSA agent, and thanked him for being there. Downstairs to retrieve my luggage, and out to my car. This time I was seeing my car at the right time. Loaded the luggage and proceeded to the exit gate. When the cashier took my money, she asked me if I had a nice flight... Yes, I did!

My trip was over, my flights complete, but the journey had just begun. Someone asked me if I am cured. No way! I know I will get anxious again, and dread flights. I know that turbulence is going to disturb me, and I may never be completely comfortable with flying. However, what is exciting is that I know that I can do this, and be fine. I know I have it in me to handle turbulence, bumping takeoffs, and rough landings.

I think the biggest hurdle was accepting that I had a fear of flying. For a man this is extremely hard. But, you have to be honest. If people accept it, and understand... great. And if they do not, that is their problem. The main thing is to be honest with yourself.