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View Full Version : 1/2 Trip Report: Midway to Cleveland (a little long)


noflyingfan
10-29-2004, 12:53 PM
This is kind of long, but bear with me, because it has a great ending.

So, after the week from hell (not much of which had to do with flying itself), I got on the plane and came to Cleveland.

As I left to go to the airport, I was ready to cry. Part of it was just that I didn't want to leave my boyfriend, who I am used to seeing every day. (Since we moved in together, there have only been like four days we haven't seen each other -- and we're still not sick of each other, imagine that). Anyway, in the car, I made it a point to talk about other things besides flying. He did say one really cute thing though -- I told him I was getting nervous about flying, and he said, "don't worry, the sky's just a big bowl of jello, and you can't eat it all at once."

As we pulled up to the loading and unloading zone, I had the theme from Airplane! going through my head. I hummed it a little bit.

My plane was scheduled to take off at 7:45 p.m., and once I went through security and everything, I still had a lot of time. I knew I'd cry if I called my boyfriend, so I called a goofy friend of mine who I knew would take my mind off of flying. I talked to him for awhile, and when the time got close to board, I called my boyfriend and cried a little bit.

By this time, the plane was at the gate and people were lining up, so I decided to bite the bullet and ask the gate agent if I could meet the pilot. He said, "I'm sorry, we don't do that." (In my head is my trip report where I say I had a bad experience with a mean gate agent and everybody writing back saying, "of course they do that!"). So I told him, "I know a lot of people who have done it, and they all say it helps a lot." He said he'd check.

I got in line, trying not to cry, and a few minutes later, the gate agent came back, asked for my name and said, "come with me." He took me to the plane, and at the end of the jetway was the pilot. He said it would be a little bumpy on the way up but that it was a "beautiful night to fly" and that once we got above the clouds, it would be smooth sailing. He assured me that he doesn't have to take off if he doesn't want to, and if that he's not convinced that this airplane is safe and ready to fly, he will not fly. I got a seat on the wing, by the window. Perfect.

*The captain's name was Tom. He was very nice but not cute. I mean, not a bad looking man, but not the Tom Cruise I was hoping for. However, he looked normal, not psychotic, and that's good enough for me.

My Xanax started kicking in about this time, but we sat on the runway for a long, long time. Normally, I would have thought "Gaaa! What's wrong with the plane!" but there were lots of planes in front of us. I looked out the window at nothing in particular. Tom came on the thingy about 8:10 and said we were third in line to take off. Then he said something about us flying over some town in Michigan that years ago took five hours to get to from Detroit on a stagecoach. Kind of put things in perspective.

We took off about 8:20, and to take my mind off of taking off, I named in my head all 50 U.S. States in alphabetical order. I've been practicing all week, so I'm pretty good by now, but before I was finished, the FAs were takin drink orders! I couldn't believe it. The seatbelt sign went off about 8:30. The captain came on at that point and said we were about 200 miles from Cleveland and would arrive about 10:05 eastern time. It was really cloudy, so there was nothing to see from the window, but I didn't even care.

Around 8:45, we started our initial descent. The captain said we were still 100 miles from Cleveland, which was really just amazing to me. We had a few bumps, but just a few, and I had been forewarned (thank you, Beth), so they didn't bother me. Five minutes later, we were below the clouds and I could see the lights of Cleveland. As they got bigger, I thought no city had ever looked so beautiful. (Which is a big deal, because #1, it's Cleveland -- sorry, Beth -- and #2, I live in Chicago, which is a gorgeous place).

Maybe it was partly the Xanax, but I wanted to cry again -- this time, because I had nearly completed a flight during which at no time was I ever scared. As soon as I got on that plane, I was absolutely fine and remained so throughout the entire flight. For me, that is more than amazing.

At 8:55 (well, 9:55 local time), we started our final descent. The flight attendants announced that they'd be coming around to pick up cups and cans and any trash we wouldn't be taking off the plane. I took out a piece of paper and wrote on it one word -- "fear." When the flight attendants came by, I threw that piece of paper away. I left my fear on that airplane. It's trash, and I don't need it anymore.

Passenger Mark
10-29-2004, 03:39 PM
WOW ERICKA!!!!

That is a great report!

I liked where your boyfriend said the sky was just a big bowl of jello that you can't eat...


Good for you for standing your ground and advising the gate agent that you knew you could meet the pilot. I am sure they have a lot of folks ask. But usually if you tell them that you have FOF, they have no problem with it.

I cracked up at the non-cute non-Tom Cruise pilot comment, and that he did not look psychotic! ha ha That is a good thing. I am always glad when my pilot does not look psychotic!

But what I really liked was two things...

The first was about naming all the states while taking off. What a great idea to help distract the mind.

The second was this...

The flight attendants announced that they'd be coming around to pick up cups and cans and any trash we wouldn't be taking off the plane. I took out a piece of paper and wrote on it one word -- "fear." When the flight attendants came by, I threw that piece of paper away. I left my fear on that airplane. It's trash, and I don't need it anymore.

What a great symbolic act!

WillFlyToDisney2
10-29-2004, 03:49 PM
WAY TO GO ERICKA!!!!!!!

I love the "fear" being left on the plane. Great ending. :handglide

I guess it is true - "Cleveland rocks!" :band

I already told you how to find the cute pilots - fly the CRJs!!! The bigger the plane, the older (and less "Tom Cruise-like") the pilot. :ray

Kelley

Disney fan
10-29-2004, 06:04 PM
ERIKA!!!!!!!!!

Fantastic report!! Trah your fear, I like it very much!


Lynda:ukflag

noflyingfan
10-30-2004, 12:37 AM
I just hope I feel this good after Sunday's flight back to Chicago!

I feel kind of bad now for saying the pilot wasn't cute, since you're all picking up on that! :sigh It's not that he was hideous, just dad-like. But that's a good quality in a pilot, I think. And he was wearing a very cool Halloween tie with an airplane tie tack.

The listing the states thing was like the best thing I've ever come up with to deal with my fear. Seriously. Takeoff is the absolute worst part of flights for me, and this time, I was so busy trying to figure out what state came next that I didn't even notice us banking or anything!

But yeah, the word "fear" on the paper was really a big thing for me to do. (Although I did feel very movie-like when I did it, and I think the passengers next to me must have thought I was nuts. First I'm naming states and by the end of the flight, I'm beaming and sighing and writing stuff down just to throw it away). I've been holding on to this fear of flying for a very long time, almost used it as a security blanket. I'm sure many of you can identify with this -- I felt like my fear kept the plane in the air, that as soon as I relaxed, something bad would happen. Once I'd decided to try and overcome my fear, I figured that at best I'd be able to fly without panic attacks. I never thought I would be able to truly fly without fear.

Don't get me wrong -- I know that one great flight does not a fearless flyer make. I know there will probably be setbacks, and I know that the anticipatory anxiety is still going to drive me batty. But this flight -- this flight was huge for me. Really huge.

And just to show you how huge this is...when I called my boyfriend to tell him I'd landed, he'd mentioned that my sister had called wanting to know if I wanted to fly to New York in a couple of weeks. Without hesitation, I said HELL YEAH I DO! I only wish Southwest flew to New York.

xiknal
10-31-2004, 04:09 AM
it's that time of the year, and as you may know, that practice of writing things on a piece of paper, or a leaf, in order to be rid of it, is a time-honored ritual. I think the original tradition has you burning it in a little cauldron as you run widdershins around it cackling...

:witch :witch :witch

now, I am a bit confused...you say that your fellow pax must have thought you were nuts because you were reciting the names of states in alphabetical order, but you did that in your head, and not out loud, right? Maybe they didn't notice anything at all!

Sounds like a major step forward, Erika! :thumbsup And I'll bet your anticipatory anxiety will be way down before the return flight.

You are on your way to kickin' FOF butt...as Monica would say...you go, girl! :tiphat

beaugest
10-31-2004, 06:40 AM
Barb, I immediately thought of the burning ritual also. Of course, probably not a great idea on a plane . There was actually a great Friend's episode where they did a burning ritual,started a small fire and all these good looking firemen showed up. Kelley would appreciate this---you could do it on the plane and have all these cute pilots running back. Of course, then you have to deal with the cute cops who will be escorting you to jail after you land...:fuming
Seriously though Erika, you have really good instincts about how to deal with your anxiety. I thought it was great that you didn't let the gate agent put you off and heard all our voices in your head as support. Then the fear ritual was a great idea.
Keep in mind that every successful flight we have is an experience to draw on the next time you feel FOF kicking in. I hope you have a copy of this report to keep with you when you fly again.

noflyingfan
11-01-2004, 02:35 PM
I said the states in my head, but I also might have mouthed the words a little. Plus I counted them off on my fingers. So I guess not really in my head, not really out loud. I just imagine that I looked weird throughout the flight.

Here's the second half of my trip report, written during the flight (and just before takeoff). It was a little bumpy coming back, as you'll be able to tell. I was also really tired, so bear that in mind while reading this, because reading it myself, it sounds kind of strange.

5:11 EST -- Looks like another late takeoff today. I am incredibly tired, because I had a really, really late night, but I'm hoping God won't hold that against me. I was too tired to be nervous but took a couple of Xanax anyway. I'm really hoping that what worked on Thursday will work today.

5:15 EST -- I guess I should look at this as a test. My first flight after "throwing away" my fear. I'm going to be really mad if it's not a great one!

5:20 EST -- Looks like it's time...to pray! :pray

5:33 EST -- A little bumpy so far. :hamster I'm kind of wishing now that I had met the captain. I did make eye contact with him, however, as I boarded. I saw him, saw he's a real guy, and hopefully not psychotic. It was dark when I came into Cleveland, and I think that might have helped me too. I always thought I liked the window seat, because I liked to see how far we were from the ground. But maybe next time, I should try the aisle. We're getting a few more chops. :hamster Well, at least I can use the hamster in my trip report. :hamster Mostly, though, I'm looking forward to getting home. I've had a long, long weekend, and I'm ready to be home.

5:45 EST -- Seatbelt sign is off. A few more bumps. :hamster Just annoying, just annoying. The sky is a big bowl of jello, and you could never eat it all at once. At least they gave us peanuts this time! Okay, now it feels like we're descending. :shocked I am not pleasted. More bumps. :hamster Just discomfort, just discomfort.

Boy am I gonna use that hamster in my trip report. :hamster :hamster :hamster :hamster

5:50 EST -- This flight isn't quite as pleasant as the last. Maybe I'm just anxious to get home, but the bumps are making me nervous. :hamster It's really not a terribly rough ride, not like some flights I've been on where it was all I could do to keep my drink in my cup, but it's definitely upping the anxiety factor for me. However, just the fact that I'm saying this at all while still in flight is a huge deal. Of course as soon as I began to write that last sentence, we hit some more bumps. :hamster :hamster :hamster Someone on the board mentioned looking for an "up" for every "down" when there's turbulence. :hamster So far, it's not a bad system, although when you've just got the shakes (insert hamster here)* it's a little hard to do.

*I actually did write that on the page.

5:59 EST -- I'm looking at the ground and wondering what we're over. I sure am looking forward to the bright lights of Chicago. I am quite certain that we're descending now. I wish the captain had mentioned that. Note to Ray :ray -- do you guys have an employee newsletter or anything? I'm sure we'd all appreciate it if you could mention somehow to your fellow Southwesters that passengers like to be kept informed. Not that there's anything terribly important for me to do that I have to know, but since from what I've noticed, most bumps come closer to the ground, all passengers -- not just the ones who are afraid to fly -- will enjoy an update now and again.

6:05 EST -- The captain said we'll be landing shortly. That's what I like to hear. Still can't see much of the city, but heck, I'll see it soon enough.

JamieAllison
11-02-2004, 12:00 AM
Thanks for part 2 of your report. I was wondering how it would be for you after such a great experience. It sounds like you handled everything incredibly well considering it was such a bumpy flight. I love in flight notes, and I love that you thought (and wrote) about the bouncy hamster during the flight! :hamster

I was especially interested to read about a bumpier, not as pleasant flight. My last two flights were pretty smooth for the most part. I had met the pilots for the first time and felt like I made a big improvement in general. Now I think about how I will do on a bumpy or not so good flight. I'm encouraged by your report because even though you were feeling somewhat anxious, you still did really well.

I'm curious about you not meeting the Captain on the way back. Were you not able to or did you choose not to?

Jamie

noflyingfan
11-02-2004, 12:21 AM
I decided not to meet the pilot on the way back for a couple of reasons. Number one, I didn't feel all that anxious, and I kind of wanted to see how I would do without it. I felt fine about flying and didn't feel I "needed" it, so I wanted to know if I was really making progress or if I'd just had one good flight with some good Xanax. Number two, I was incredibly tired (had had a really busy weekend and not gotten much sleep AT ALL...when I got home, I fell asleep at seven last night and didn't wake up till my alarm went off at six this morning...and I was still tired!), so I wasn't really in the mood to talk to anyone. In case the gate agent was like the last one, I didn't have the energy to insist. Plus, if I did meet the pilot, what if he mistook my tiredness for disinterest in what he was saying; he might not care to meet FFs anymore. And third, partly because of my tiredness, it seemed really inconvenient to talk to the gate agent. There were a couple of gates in one area, and one desk for all of them, and my gate was farthest from the desk.

All in all, I feel really good about these flights. For a lot of reasons, I feel better. But I think the biggest is just that I know what all the noises are now, and I know what to expect and when to expect it. A few years ago I might have looked out at the flaps moving around and thought the wings were falling apart! It sounds silly, but really, the little bit of knowledge I've gotten has meant a lot to me. And really, I felt much better going on this flight because of Southwest's great safety record and all of the great things people here have said about it! For the first time in a long time (maybe ever), I got on an airplane completely confident that I would reach my destination safely.

xiknal
11-02-2004, 02:43 AM
Erika said:

For the first time in a long time (maybe ever), I got on an airplane completely confident that I would reach my destination safely.

There's no denying the rock-solid progress in that statement. :cheers I remember the first time I felt the same; it was my second flight in 13 years. It occurred to me that backsliding was possible, but something about the solidity and certainty of the emotional shift in my mind told me that I would not backslide.

I don't think you will either! You have another flight lined up in a couple of weeks, don'tcha? I hope you will keep on flying as often as you can manage.

A li'l bit of wisdom from a movie I saw recently: neurons that fire together wire together. It works both ways in FoF. :nod

Good going, Erika! :banana

noflyingfan
11-02-2004, 05:29 PM
I'm not sure if I'm flying then yet or not. Maybe, maybe not. It all depends on whether the funding comes through, as they say.

As a wise man once said...
"If God had meant man to fly, he would have given him more money."